Of Beauty
by FunkyCharms21
Summary: The life of Sirius Black from 4th year. will be SLASH.final Remus/Sirius
1. My Kind Of Beauty

** Of beauty – by FunkyCharms21**

Summary: the life of Sirius Black- from 4th year in Hogwarts, this is a **slash** story with multiple partners (my characters) and eventual Remus/ Sirius. Told from many different points of views.

Rating: R

~ _James p.o.v~_

Have you ever met a person whose inner and outer beauty matched completely? That one never detracted from the other, they both just enhanced what was already there for all to see, to love, and sadly even to despise?

The story begins with the end of our fourth year. Just a month before school breaks for the summer…

Sirius had done the impossible, he had sex! And not with just anyone. He slept with Elena Bradford, a 6th year, and a pretty one at that.

"I don't believe you!" exclaimed Remus, a note of sadness in his voice, or am I mistaken?

"Well it's true, I wouldn't lie about it, forget it, let's talk about the Animagus potion, how far along are we James?"

"Wait a minute I want to know more about this as well?" I said; now don't get me wrong, even at 14, Sirius was beautiful.

From the first time I laid my eyes upon him nearly 4 years ago on platform 9 3/4, a muggle born child, with long black almost blue hair, the most uncannily purple eyes and a nervous yet confident smile, I loved him, right then. So when this year Sirius turned even more beautiful, none of us was surprised to see all the girls and boys from 1st year to 7 practically drooling over him.

But Sirius at that time just didn't care about these things, until last night.

We had been sitting in our common room devising a plan on how to get back at Snape and his cronies, slytherin trash; they set a dung bomb in Ravenclaw/Hufflepuff DADA lesson. Naturally for their honour we had to retaliate, it was expected of us after all. Marauder pride and all that. 

 "I say we put a dung bomb in their DADA class!" exclaimed Peter, excitedly.

"But Peter, that's our class as well, besides we need to do something different, something that would leave them speechless, you know?" replied Remus.

We sat there until dinner thinking up plans that could humiliate Snape and his band of idiots completely, but unfortunately a plan like this calls for some Sirius (as Sirius would say) inspiration.

 "No place more inspiring then the kitchen, I'm starving!" announced Sirius. We had no wish to discuss our plan for revenge in the great hall for fear of eavesdropping and for peace and quiet to work on our devious plot.

So off we were to the kitchen, which we found "by accident" in 2nd year. It was the place where chocolate flavored dreams were made, so naturally thinking up a plan on a full stomach was better then on an empty one, see the logic?

We had finally come up with a plan meaning Sirius, Remus and I (Peter is not very good at charms), would charm their food to turn into slimy goo from the moment it entered their mouths.

Sirius and me were just returning from the library with the necessary charm (which we modified a bit), when Elena Bradford, nearly every guy's wet dream, towering at 5'5 with the most beautiful blue eyes and long blonde hair, approached us.

 She had a gorgeous body as we all agreed one night while we were discussing preferences, I knew Sirius liked her.

So what was a gorgeous 6th year doing talking to two 4th years? Got me!

"Sirius, I was wondering whether you are doing anything tonight?" said Elena throatily, pouting her full pink lips and batting her eyelashes up at him. Even at 14 Sirius was exceptionally tall, standing at 5'7; apparently Sirius' dad was 6'2 (or so he was told, since he never met him) and his mom was 5'8 so it was possible he would grow even taller. As for me and Remus we are only 5'5 now, but we too might grow taller as our fathers are about 6'0, 6'1, I hope so, it will make being around Sirius a little easier, nobody likes to be ignored, and it is harder to ignore a 6'0 tall guy, right?

So there I was standing next to Sirius feeling bored while he chatted up Elena Bradford, I can't get over that, until she invited him to the astronomy tower tonight at 10. 

 "Should I go James? I mean I don't wanna leave you with all the work for the prank." Asked Sirius a nervous look in his eye as well as hopeful.

"You have to go! This is Elena Bradford we're talking about, asking you to the astronomy tower, that's a dream come true Sirius, you have to go! Wait till Remus and Peter hear about this!" I exclaimed ecstatically.

"Don't tell them! Not until I get back, there might be nothing to tell!" pleaded Sirius rather forcefully.

Sirius at the time was unaware of his own devastating looks; but we weren't.

This self confidence in his looks became obvious to us that night, when we all sat up waiting for Sirius to return from his hot date.

It was 1 am when he walked in, looking disheveled and glowing, I have never seen him look as beautiful as he did at that moment, when he spoke softly almost in awe and said.

"I did it! I had sex and it was beautiful, incredible!"

And that was it, things changed forever in that moment.

Next chapter will be longer, I promise.

So R & R if you liked it or you didn't or whatever, I'd love to know.

Flames will be used to fry McDonald's wonderful corn sticks!


	2. From a Sirius Perspective

** Of beauty – by FunkyCharms21**

Disclaimer: I own nothing but my own characters and a rotten job!

Summary: the life of Sirius Black- from 4th year in Hogwarts, this is a **slash** story with multiple partners (my characters) and eventual Remus/ Sirius. Told from many different points of views.

Rating: R

**Chapter 2 – From A Sirius Perspective **

 _~Sirius p.o.v~_

I had never been as nervous in my life as I was that night, I will forever remember the date, it was the 31 of May, the night I became a man!

Well not really a man, just a guy who had sex…

I met Elena as scheduled in the astronomy tower, I came early, she wasn't there, she was late.

22:03 "she's not coming" pacing restlessly.

22:06 "it was a joke, an end of the year joke" pounding my hand softly against the brick wall.

22:10 "who am I kidding, she's a beautiful 6th year and I'm a 4th year"

I walked towards the door and opened it, planning to just get back to my room, before I got caught, coming face to face with her hand attempting to knock on the door.

We both looked up and smiled at each other.

She looked stunning, I had never seen her without her school robes, but now there she was in front of me wearing a short red miniskirt and a tight black tank top, her slender ankles encased in small red sandals.

Her beautiful blonde hair was left loose and glowing, her lips full and pink, set in a cute pout, I was hooked.

"I'm sorry I was so late, I was nearly caught by Professor Dale" she said, in that throaty sexy voice that could make every sensible guy run to the bathroom to spare himself the humiliation of cumming all over his pants.

And me, I'm a sensible guy. 

We sat together and talked for what seemed like hours, she wasn't very smart or funny, but she was sweet and nice, not really my type.

 And then it happened…

We were laughing at a joke, and I looked up into her beautifully made up blue eyes. Time just stopped, I couldn't explain it, we both leaned forward together, our eyes closing at the exact moment, our lips touched softly at first, then harder.

She was so sweet, I couldn't help but want to taste more, and then her sweet mouth opened, her agile tongue licked my lips, asking permission to enter my mouth, I moaned and parted my lips.

Her tongue explored my mouth and swiped at my teeth, then shyly and nervously I chased her tongue with mine into her mouth, tasting her mouth, duelling with her tongue. My first kiss with Serena at 12 was nothing like this; it was an embarrassing fumble, compared to this heaven.

Elena tasted like honey and the rain, and everything sweet you could ever imagine.

Before we knew it her hands were helping me get my shirt off and I was sucking on her neck softly, she moaned and threw her head back to allow me better access which I shamelessly took advantage of.

My hands travelling down her body, then under her tight tank top, gently squeezing her unbound breast, my fingers drawing circles on her nipples, lightly twirling them. Doing everything I dreamed of doing to her, late at night in the comfort and privacy of my four-poster bed, when the light was out. 

In what seemed like minutes we were both naked, my brain had stopped working (at least one brain did, the other was in full speed), all I could think about was how soft and warm she felt, how no matter how close we were at that precise moment I had to get closer.

We couldn't stop kissing, I laid her down on the clothes covered floor and lay down upon her making sure not to put all of my weight on her.

I placed kisses, licks and bites all over her, I couldn't stop tasting her, touching her, her throaty moans like sensuous music to my ears. The blood in my veins pounding, my heart was speeding up, it all combined into this whirl of sound I had never heard before, a sound that touched my mind, heart and soul, I had never felt so connected with anyone or myself and I never felt so aroused in my life, it almost hurt, but the pain was so sweet, it was like being caught at the peak with no way of falling off or retreating, when you are not sure, almost afraid, yet at the same time you have to go on, there is no way back. It was maddening, delirious, it was sex.

And that was it. I had lost my virginity to her, I will remember her fondly forever, but this was no great love. She slept with me because she wanted to, because she wouldn't be here next year, she was transferring to Salem academy in Georgia.

She slept with me knowing that whether people knew or not, it wouldn't matter since she wouldn't be here to care.

I went back to my common room, knowing that an inquisition was waiting for me, my friends James, Remus and Peter had probably waited up for me.

I know James hadn't told them about my date, but they would be sitting up with him to wait for me either way.

 Now it seems so hard to believe that nearly 4 years ago I got my Hogwarts letter, it was so strange because I never knew all of this existed, to me this was a childhood fantasy, stories told every night at bed time, by my mother or one of the other women in the "commune", while all of us children were cuddled together in our pyjamas in front of the fireplace.

My mother, formally known as Agnes changed her name to Venetia, the day she joined the "commune" which believes in free love, you know "make love, not war" the merry sixties, drugs, hippies, and all that, well that's Venetia for you.

 She had me when she was 17, a runaway girl, with no place to go who hated restrictions.

 She met my father one night at a pub in central London called "the hippogriff" for some bizarre reason.

 She said he was very tall and so handsome, in his late 30's and she left with him that night, She never did know his name, but back then it just didn't matter. 

I look just like him, or so I'm told, which makes sense, since my mom is 5'8, with brown eyes and light brown hair, her skin is very pale, her appearance is somewhat fragile looking and me, I'm 5'7 now, might be taller soon, with black hair (my mom says its almost blue, like my father's), purple eyes (I have no idea from where), my skin is somewhat tanned, I have my mom's lips and nose but my sire's bone structure, what a weird combination.

I was named after her favourite star, the Dog Star.

And though I nearly never call her mom, she is my family, she cares for me and loves me, so what if my family isn't picture perfect like James or Peter or even Remus, it's mine and I love it.

So imagine my surprise at being told I'm a wizard and at such peculiar circumstances. One fine summer morning, 3 weeks before the new school year, I was enrolled into Miss Parkinson's private co-ed school to begin my middle school studies, when an owl floated into our room, a big brown barn owl, but the most odd thing about it was that it was carrying a letter.

The owl floated up to me, landed on my desk and reached its foot towards me, the one with the letter, I was unsure at first about approaching it, owls are wild beasts after all, and I like my fingers intact, thank you very much.

But finally I gathered my nerve and reached out to take the offered letter, just then came a loud boom, from the other side of the mansion, in which we, the commune. lived (it was better then the tents we lived in just outside of Yorkshire when I was 5), followed by a scream of rage, made by non other then our commune leader Corbis, formally known as George. I guess he found that firecracker filled chocolate pie that me and the rest of the kids baked especially for him, followed by a scream of surprise and the sound of a body hitting the ground. I suppose we shouldn't have spilled M&M all over the floor, ops…

As you guessed we don't like George.

I waited for the silence that followed to be broken by another rage filled holler, when it came we all rushed towards the door, locking it firmly.

And I could finally read the letter which as I saw was addressed to me:

_Sirius Black  _

_Second bed on the right._

_Children's bedroom on the 4th floor_

_"The __commune"_

_Mansion of Pilfforthen_

_Yorkshire _

That was awfully descriptive, guess that's for me; I opened the letter, and read. When I finished reading my letter to the lovely sound of fat George-Corbis' incessant pounding on our locked door, I was in complete shock, a wizard? Me? Was this a joke concocted by one of my "siblings"? 

 Well now nearly 4 years later I'm glad I took it siriusly (can't get over that!)

I still remember my first meeting with James.

I was running late, it was already 10:45 and I was stuck in traffic with Venetia, who borrowed the commune's pink and flower decorated van especially to bring me to King's Cross station in London so I could board the Hogwarts Express. 

We made it with 5 minutes to spare, I said goodbye to my mum and looked around for the platform, now that's weird, there was no such thing platform 9 3/4!

What was I going to do? I've got less then 4 minutes to get on the train.

I was panicking, no other word for it, then to my rescue came a young boy, he looked about my age, he was shorter then me in nearly a foot, with really messy black hair and big glasses covering big pale blue eyes.

I smiled at him rather nervously.

 "Hi, I'm Sirius Black; do you by any chance know how to get on the platform 9 and 3/4?" 

"James Potter, ah so you're a first year as well, so am I, muggle born, right?

Come with me I'll take you there, my dad told me how to board it"

And we were friends right then, of course I had no idea what muggle born meant back then.

James was just like me, funny, quick witted, friendly but most importantly he loved to pull pranks, the perfect combination to any worthy friend, we talked about everything that morning, James was a pure blood wizard, his parents worked for the ministry of magic, his mom as a spokesperson for the minister and his dad was the head of magical experiments. We both knew that we would be best friends forever.

Meeting Peter on the other hand was a stroke of luck, we ran into him literally while running away from this greasy haired git, whose hair I had "accidentally" thrown my chewed gum into. No sense of humour, I tell you.

So there we were James and I running away from the grease ball, when "BAMM" I fell to the floor, James on top of me, under me I heard a squeak and felt a body wriggling, attempting to get up.

We all managed to untangle ourselves, just in time to come face to face with non other then "the grease master" and he was not alone, he had this vampire look alike blonde friend, I didn't like him at all.

"No where to run now! You are going to pay!" said the greasy guy, whose name I still didn't know.

He was pointing his wand at me and James; I didn't know how to do anything with my wand yet, besides twirling it between my fingers like some birthday party magician. I think James felt the same way.

We both looked at each other and closed our eyes, hoping the "grease" and his "creature of the night" friend wouldn't be very knowledgeable with a wand either, since James was a pure blood and he knew nearly nothing about charms or curses, his parents wouldn't let him, said he was enough trouble without a wand.

I could hear my impending doom rushing towards me, when I heard the grease and his friend mumble some curse, and felt a rush of air breeze past my face, as I was pulled to the floor, I opened my eyes cautiously, and looked about me. I was uninjured, I looked at James he too had opened his eyes looking as bewildered as I felt. James with very quick reflexes pulled us both to the ground before the curse could strike. Unbelievable guy! I think he was as shocked as me that we weren't hurt.

We both looked up at our aggressors to see them both in the hand of a much older boy; he looked to be about 17, and wore a pin on his robes that read "HEADBOY" grabbing the "vampire" and the "slime" by their robes while scolding them furiously on the use of curses on the train to attack "innocent" students like me and James, they looked about to cry when he told them that letters would be sent to their parents, it was beautiful.

James and I laughed so hard our stomachs hurt, when we could breath again we looked up into the face of a boy, a first year like us, he was somewhat chubby, with blonde almost white hair, and small beady eyes, he looked at us shyly, his stare almost pleading with us to talk to him, so we did.

"Hi I'm Sirius Black and this is James Potter, was it you we fell on?" I asked gently, he was very shy and I didn't want to upset him.

"I...I'm Peter... Peter Pettigrew. Yes, that was me; I'm also the one who called the head boy to help you"

"You did? Thank you" gushed James in his enthusiastic way

Me, I thought it was annoying of him to call the head boy, even though he did "save" my life, quite melodramatic, my mind conceded.  

We all found a cart together and started talking, it became apparent that Peter was a nice guy, easy to control; he would become very useful in our plots to terrify Hogwarts. In fact it was very hard to believe that Peter's father was a famous Auror, like a policeman (so I thought at the time), because he was nothing like that. I was surprised he later got into Gryffindor. His mom was a homemaker. Peter was a pure blood as well; meaning he and James knew everything that was about to happen when we got to Hogwarts. I hate being at a disadvantage.

We were discussing houses, I had no idea where I should go, or would go, it was all so confusing, griffin something and huffleshmuffle, ravencar and slythersnake, I don't know, I should have read that Hogwarts a history book Venetia insisted we buy.

"So you have to get into Gryffindor it's the best" enthused James.

"Ravenclaw isn't bad either" replied a mysterious voice.

We all looked up towards the compartment door, there stood a boy, he looked about our age, but he had this quality of maturity, which was beyond his years, he looked very tired, like he hadn't slept in days. He was 5'4, with brown- blonde hair that had the most peculiar silver streaks, he was very slender, almost bony, there was nothing very remarkable about him, except his eyes, they were hazel, almost yellowish, with a hint of silver in their depths, there was something about him that made the hairs on your back stand. James felt it, maybe Peter did as well, and if I had any sense I wouldn't have done what I did. I asked him to sit with us.

In retrospect I'll never regret it.

His name was Remus Lupin, he was somewhat shy. Or maybe just nervous, we had to constantly engage him in our conversation, his demeanour was that of a person that was afraid of something, he had a secret and I wanted to know what it was.

Three hours later after the sorting ceremony we were no longer Sirius, James, Peter and Remus we were "the marauders".

I laughed to myself softly, a few hours of sex and I'm turning into an emotional fool. Must think of prank; try not to smile too much. Don't want them to guess before I tell them.

I walked into the common room and before the portrait of the fat lady even closed James jumped me.

Apparently he had been waiting all this time just to hear what happened.

So naturally I lied through my teeth to annoy him.

"Nothing happened James" I replied innocently, trying very hard, mind you, not to smirk in his face, James can read lies a mile a minute. Thank god he's not a professor.

"You lie" he said, not very sure himself whether I was lying or not.

Remus and Peter approached me as well.

"What is going on James?" asked Peter in his somewhat squeaky voice, his eyes shining in adoration as he looked upon James, if I was James I'd be worried about that. But not Jamie, he thinks it's cute.

Then came my final test Remus, I could never fool Remus, it must be the wolf thing.

He could smell it on me; Remus' wolf instincts and senses were always stronger closer to the full moon, which would be this week.

 But for some reason the thought of having Remus smell another's scent on me created a very disturbing feeling in me. 

So I decided to come clean.

"I had sex tonight, with Elena Bradford"

The moment I said it, I couldn't look in Remus' eyes, it felt wrong and idiotic. So I did what every idiot like me did, I pushed it deep into the recesses of my mind, together with my first word and first prank and 

continued with my announcement.

"I did it! I had sex and it was beautiful, incredible!" 

They were shocked to say the least, wanted details, mostly James, but I didn't want to talk about it, not in front of Remus, he looked so vulnerable, right then.

"So how is our animagus potion going? You were the last one to check on it rem." I asked Remus using his pet name, am I asking for his forgiveness?

Why? Forget it, I must be still delirious.

We spent the rest of the night talking about the animagus potion, while Remus was trying inanely and not very convincingly to talk us out of it, and about the last preparations for our prank against slimy Slytherins.

**_~~the morning after~_**

The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and Slytherin were eating goo for breakfast, life couldn't get any better.

We got up early feeling very tired but excited and got dressed hastily, grabbing our backpacks with our school books and home works (we were trying to get an education after all) and rushed towards the great hall, to enjoy our well thought out plan.

The setting couldn't have been planned better.

7:32- Snape and cronies have entered the great hall.

          Target sighted.

7:34- target in place.

7:36- letta rip. Operation "eat the goo you slime buckets!" (Couldn't think of a shorter name) is on the way.

It was decided that Remus would do the necessary spell to activate our masterpiece, since he can look inconspicuous better then all of us.

At exactly 7:39 Remus had done his part, and elegantly slid back down to his seat, without anyone being the wiser, he is by far a true marauder.

At 7:41- it began, the first bewildered look appeared on the ugly pig faced Craig Avery, the Slytherin's keeper, followed by a look of disgust before he started throwing up his food. You see, we thought just letting them eat goo wasn't enough, so we also added a little ingredient of our own, a drop of newt juice, guaranteed to help you "toss your cookies", shall we say?

After Avery had lost his breakfast, early breakfast, last night's midnight snack and whatever else he consumed, the rest of the Slytherins followed suit.

7:45- total chaos, everyone on the Slytherin table couldn't stop throwing up.

         Hmm… who knew good old Snape would look so good with all that 

         puke all over his new pressed robes, that's a very good look for him,  

         me and James agreed.

7:48- mission accomplished. I got the whole thing on James' magical  

         camera.

I was wrong, life had just gotten better.

Damn, was that professor McGonagall walking towards us looking menacing?

Well in the end we weren't punished at all, they can't prove it was us after all; the Slytherins spent the day in the infirmary recovering.

We all got the day off since it wasn't fair the Slytherins would miss a whole day of classes.

Life just keeps getting better.

**_~~ On the platform 9 and 3/4~~_**

 Well, as Dumbledore would say "another year is gone…blah blah", I wasn't really listening, I was too busy taunting Snape with his new photos, whom we just shot last week, while he was sleeping and we decided to give him a makeover, all I can say is pink is definitely not his colour.

It was time to say good-bye again, I will miss them so much, especially James, wonderful, enthusiastic James, my best friend.

I won't be able to see him all summer, since he is going to France to visit his uncle and aunt, while his parents go on a second honeymoon. 

I would have invited him over to my "house" but I doubt his parents would approve, they are very strict

As for Remmy, his parents are taking him to America this summer (it was Sweden last year) in hopes of finding a cure to his "illness". I wish they would understand Rem, he doesn't really want a cure, no matter what he says, the wolf is already a part of him, has been since he was 5 years old.

But Rem's dad is in the magical creatures' registry, he transferred there when Remus was bitten, he and Rem's mom, who writes cooking books, they just want their son back, and Remus understands that.

You have to love him for that, he is just so kind and honest, it's hard to believe that in his soul resides a wild beast.

We said our good byes, promised to write each other, and meet in Diagon Ally a week before school to buy our school supplies together, as we did every year since we met. 

And we were on our way home, it felt so unnatural to not be walking together, I feel the same thing every year, this emptiness.

I can't wait for this summer to end, so we can be together again.

I walked out to the bleak London sun, and immediately spotted the commune's van, with Venetia, across the street (like you could miss a pink van with flowers on it?); we agreed that she would wait in the van for me because it was very hard to find a parking space.

I got in and we were off, I hope this summer won't be too bad.

First I want to thank all of you who reviewed my story; I appreciate it, as you can see this chapter was longer, I hope you didn't find it too boring, I just thought I need to give you more background, I'm already working on the 3rd chapter.3rd chapter will have slash in it.

Johnnys-eeyore- thank you for your kind words, I hope you will like this   

                            chapter.

tomzgurl77- I don't think James or Sirius know what they are feeling right  

                     now, guess we'll have to wait and see.

 elmtree - well I'm afraid this chapter was written from Sirius p.o.v , so there 

                isn't any other opinion, its all his observations, but next chapters 

                will have others p.o.v, (not the marauders, but my own characters).

Flames will be used to power my "I Love Sirius Black" shrine.

Thank you.


	3. An Unforgettable Summer

** Of beauty – by FunkyCharms21**

Disclaimer: I own nothing but my own characters and a rotten job!

Summery: the life of Sirius black- from 4th year in Hogwarts, this is a **slash** story with multiple partners (my characters) and eventual Remus/ Sirius. Told from many different points of views.

Warning: very graphical sex scene and underage sex, if you are too young or sickened by the thought of two men together in sexual situations, leave now!

Rating: R (very graphic/under age sex)

**Chapter 3 – An Unforgettable Summer**

_~Sirius p.o.v~_

After a very long drive home, I was pleased to say, home sweet home.

The mansion looked just as I remembered, a beautiful Victorian house, with over 30 bedrooms, 4 huge baths, 2 large kitchens and 1 grand hall.

The house was given to the commune by a very old and rich sponsor, who also pays the bills, if you ask me, he got a rotten deal.

The mansion has at least 4 huge gardens where me and my "siblings" all 30 of them have spent many days, playing and dancing, on their beautiful lawns.

It sounds unbelievable but it's true, I grew up with at least 30 other kids in the same space, compared to this sharing a dorm in Hogwarts is picnic. 

I love it here, this mansion, I never grow tired of running across the ground or exploring the house, again and again, but mostly, I love to torment "Corbis"- formally known as George.

I had already been here for a week now, slowly falling back to the routine of living in the commune, I sure as hell missed wearing jeans.

We all had chores to do on the commune, my 3 friends: Caleb, Quinn and Armadia, who are also my roommates and fellow Corbis tormentors, all work in town, they sell flowers every morning, and later they baby-sit the young ones.

Me on the other hand, I take care of the horses, we have 5 young stallions and 3 old mares, I'm the best at handling them, I spend every summer riding bare back on them, but when I'm gone Venetia takes care of them, they like her as well, maybe because we're related. I also fix things around the 'house", what can I say I'm good with my hands.

I had just finished working on the van with Odin formally known as mark. (On his pre- commune days), when we were all called in for lunch, we walked together, talking softly, Odin had just come back to the commune last week from York, where he had been buying parts for the van and some household appliances. He was in his early 40's and I liked him a lot, we always worked together, he was like a father to me almost, I think he felt the same way.

Either way, he was going again next month and I'm going with him, I couldn't wait, it will be nice to get out of here for a while, see the world outside.

After lunch I went to take a shower, we only had 4 baths in the house so we all learned very early in life that showers were meant to be shared in the commune.

I walked in and hung my towel, I quickly stripped my clothes, and turned on the hot water spray, I got in, and just stood under it, letting the steamy hot water wash away the dirt and grime that accumulated on my body from all the work I did today.

A few minutes later I started soaping myself up; I turned around trying to find my shampoo, and came face to face with fat redheaded Corbis.

Now, normally I wouldn't mind, I had taken showers with him and many others in the commune all my life, but today there was just something in his eyes I had never seen before.

He was staring at me with an odd glint in his green eyes; slowly raking over my naked body, was it lust I saw in his eyes just then? It couldn't be. I was Venetia's son, he knew me when I was just a baby.

But there was no denying it, he wanted me, which became even more clear, when he took off his towel standing naked and aroused before me and asked me if I need some help at rubbing my back or other more desirable parts of my anatomy.

I was in shock; besides Elena Bradford I had never had anyone make a pass at me, definitely not as aggressive as that. No class I tell you.

I pushed passed him, upset, but he grabbed my arm and pulled me towards him, shoved me back into the shower stall, pinning my body with his.

His clammy hands were traveling all over my body; while murmuring dirty words in my ears, telling me how hot I was, and what he wished to do to me.

I tried pushing him of me, but I couldn't he was taller and fatter then me, I panicked and started screaming, but he covered my mouth with his, and pushed his tongue past my parted lips, my mouth filled with the taste of his stale breath in a fit of rage at my helplessness I bit his tongue, he screamed in anguish, my mouth filled with the coppery flavor of his blood. 

I unfroze and kneed him right in the "family jewels" (no wonder the guy was in a commune, not much jewels there).

He backed away from me with yet another shout of anguish, when he glanced up at me in shock I punched his face.

Who the hell does he think he is? Touching me like that!

I grabbed my clothes and ran out; wiping my mouth angrily, trying to rid myself of the experience as well as the taste of his blood and mouth, he will never touch me again.

It's time to make Corbis pay. Operation "payback is a bitch" is on its way.

One thing's for sure, Venetia will never know what happened to me that after noon, I just can't do that to her, she loves it here, and if I said a word she would want us to leave.

No there is only one way to make sure Corbis will never do that again, it's time my friends to get rid of Corbis, I must now recruit the aid of my fellow tormentors…

As the days passed, unfortunate "accidents" occurred to dear Corbis, where ever he went, he was either painted blue, from the use of a shower we implanted with dye, or thrown into the lake at 4 am on a particularly chilly morning, wearing nothing but his underpants (white with pink hearts!) or finally waking up tied to a tree 4 miles away from the commune, completely naked and covered with honey, next to an ant hill. (Took 4 hours to find him, covered with ant bites). 

By the end of the week Corbis had changed his name back to George ,went to live with his parents in Melbourne and took up a job as an accountant at his father's firm (chicken, I couldn't even use magic on him.)

Naturally none of the "grownups" was aware of the reason for "Corbis" change of heart, but life went on, and the new commune leader was none other then Odin.

The days passed slowly and peacefully, I was writing to Jamie and Remmy a lot, and got a letter from Peter as well, he has started hero-worshipping me! 

Why on earth? I hope he will get over it by the end of the summer. Unlike James I don't enjoy that.

I had just finished fixing our living room wall (Chairmain had gotten angry at her father last week and during a hissy feat put her fist through the wall, scary girl) when Odin called me over, he invited me to come with him to town, I needed to buy more muggle clothes, since I had grown taller this summer and none of my clothes fit me anymore.

It was 3 pm and I was exhausted, I hated shopping for clothes, so did Odin which is why he left me to it, the lucky bastard, we agreed to meet at a coffee shop called "the bend" at 7 pm.

Unfortunately I had finished my shopping early and had nothing else to do, so I decided to have some lunch, I walked into this diner called "deliciously sinful" my kind of place, I laughed.

I sat down and ordered lunch, while I was eating my spaghetti and meatballs, I heard the bell on the door ring, signaling the arrival of a new customer, I looked up, I don't know why, I felt like I had to, into the face of young man, he had to be about 21, he was very tall, like 5"11, big brown eyes and brown hair, he looked up and caught me staring at him. 

"Shit" I thought to myself "busted".

The gorgeous guy smirked at me and I hurriedly looked away blushing, what was wrong with me, I never blush, never! It's a cardinal rule.

While I was contemplating my bizarre behavior, the guy had taken a sit at my table.

"I hope you don't mind me sitting here, there was no other place available"

He smiled engagingly at me.

I looked about the diner and counted at least 5 vacant tables, and stared quite sarcastically at him.

"Alright, stupid I know, but this is the best looking table here, and that's all your doing, I'm Cameron and you are?" he smiled sexily at me, so sure of himself.

Normally I wouldn't ever fall for cheesy lines like that, but he was just so sexy, no other words to describe it, and I was curious about men.

Always have been really, I tried women after Elena (mostly 6th years, thanks to Elena's "meddling") but there was always something missing.

And that's why I answered 

"Sirius"

Now here I was sitting in the diner with this man in front of me and all I could think about was feeling his lips against mine, his body pressed tightly against me, I started thinking about having sex with him, but my mind drew a blank, I had no idea how two men can have sex, unbelievable ,right? Since I live in a free love commune, but that's how stupidly innocent I was, this was something I had to find out, and I knew there was no one better to teach me but Cameron.

So when he asked for my age, I lied.

And when he asked me to walk him to work I agreed knowing that something will happen today, and me, well I never think before I act, well at least not too much.

_~Cameron's p.o.v ~_

Note to self, **never ever **shag your boss. The consequences might be dire.

So here I am, 26 years old, gorgeous and working as a photographer for "Yorkshire's bulletin", and I just made the stupid mistake of screwing with my boss, both figuratively and literally.

So I decided to disappear from the office for a while, and went out to lunch at my favorite diner "deliciously sinful", they had the best steak this side of Yorkshire.

I walked in and immediately felt eyes upon me, I'm used to people staring at me, I am beautiful after all, so I decided to see for myself who is my admirer.

I looked up into the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen, and trust me I had seen plenty; they were unbelievably purple, with beautifully long black eyelashes almost feminine looking.

The face attached to those eyes was even more appealing, it was the face of a young man about 18 or 20, I guessed, he had long black almost blue hair where the sun streamed through his window seat and placed gentle kisses on his silky hair, it came up to his shoulders and curled lavishly to his smooth neck, his lips were red and full, and very soft looking, as he worried his lower lip slightly feeling embarrassed at being caught staring, his golden skin turned slightly red from his blush, he looked youthful and innocent, and I had to have him, I smirked at him and sat down, using one of my most cheesy lines, why? Because I could.

Cameron's rule #1: when you are beautiful you can get away with anything.

He looked sarcastically at me, but when I complimented him, he melted at my words. This would be easy.

I asked for his name, he paused for a few minutes, contemplating whether he should tell me or not, finally he spoke.

"Sirius". The name of a star how befitting.

His voice was unbelievably sexy, raspy yet soft and firm, much like the rest of him, I noticed.

I quickly gathered that he had never slept with a guy as for women I'm pretty sure he did, he radiated this aura of an experienced lad, I would have to go much slower then I'd hoped, but by the looks of him, I won't regret it, he had a very sensual quality, which I couldn't wait to explore.

I asked for his age, he seemed hesitant at first, but finally confessed to being 18, good; he was legal, no crazy parents to interfere with my plans.

I know it seems as though I was planning to use him like some "big bad wolf" from children's fairytales, but basically it comes down to this, I am attracted to him, very much, and I'm not used to hearing no.

Also from what I could tell he was curious about me and men in general and who better to teach him how good it can be between men, then me?

I am the best after all.

We ate our lunch together, and then I asked him to walk me back to work he agreed. I knew he had nothing else to do, and I wasn't in the rush to get back just yet, my boss might need a few more hours to cool off.

My plan was to get him introduced to the wonders of gay sex, and the best way to go about introducing a blushing virgin is to gently coax him in the right direction, and well, I might as well steal a grope while I'm at it.

We walked together slowly enjoying each others company, he was very charming and bright, he had this devilish streak about him that I couldn't wait to put to good use in my bedroom, I had to have him, soon. It was beginning to become painful.

After a 20 minutes walk we were near my office, I grabbed him by the sleeve, dragged him into an ally and unceremoniously pinned him to the wall, in the ally, I looked into his eyes, he seemed quite frightened.

"I'm sorry if I frightened you, it's just that we are near my office and I wanted us to depart in a private place" I replied to his unasked question, my voice husky against his skin, I leaned closer, pressing my body against his, close, but not too close, just enough, so he could feel my warmth and smell my skin, my breath fanning hot against his lips.

He parted those beautiful red lips, almost begging for my kiss, my touch, I don't even think he knew what he was begging for, but I was going to give it to him nether the less.

I leaned even closer, pressing my hips tight against his and slowly started to grind them, brushing tightly against his semi- hard cock, he was aroused all right.

I watched transfixed as he parted those luscious lips to moan softly when I ground my hips harder against his, the friction overwhelming both of us in its intensity. I looked deeply into his purple eyes, now almost black, their irises dilated with passion, he stared back until another breathy moan made it past his sweet lips and his eyes closed with a sigh of passion, his eyelashes fanning against his smooth cheeks, causing shadows to form across his face in the most enticing way.

I leaned even closer and breathed softly in his ear, causing him to shiver slightly in my arms; I wrapped my arms around him, pulling us even closer and softly whispered in his ear.

"You look so beautiful right now, so sexy, may I kiss you? Will you let me slip my tongue in your mouth? Let me nibble on your lips? Will you suck on my tongue with your beautiful lips? I want to hear you moan for me."

He moaned softly, his cheeks flushed from my words, I licked his ear slowly, felt his body quivering, I sucked on his ear lobe a bit before slipping my tongue in his ear, gently probing and retreating, to start licking his jaw and finally move on to his neck.

I ground my hips harder, eliciting a groan from him, his eyes fluttered open, he looked straight at me, and whispered "yes" softly his voice rough from passion.

I didn't think twice I placed my lips upon his, softly at first, our eyes fluttered shut, and when he responded, I deepened the kiss, my tongue licking his full lips, nibbling on his lower lip, they were as sweet and silky as I had hoped, I couldn't wait to see those lips wrapped tightly around my cock, watching it slowly disappear between those heavenly full lips, shinning with spit and my own pre-cum.

I was rushing ahead in my mind, getting as aroused as he was, had to gain control of myself, what am I? Some 14 year old kid, with no control over his hormones?

I focused on the kiss trying to be forceful yet gentle; I didn't want to scare him away, I pressed my tongue against his lips harder, he complied and opened his mouth, my tongue slid past those delicious lips to explore his mouth, he tasted so sweet, young and fresh.

My tongue passed his plate, slowly imprinting my taste upon his mouth, only to begin dueling with his tongue, as requested, he began to slowly suck on my tongue, I couldn't hold back my moan of pleasure, or my mind imagining the wonderful feel of that sucking sensation on other parts of my anatomy.

My hands flew from around his waist to tangle in his silky hair, and caress his cheeks and neck; I started rubbing my left hand in slow circles around his beautiful smooth neck, massaging his pulse point, slowly. My other hand, rubbing his skull gently.

He wasn't content to submissively accept my caresses and as my hands traveled over his body, he generously returned the favor, his hands skimming over my body, squeezing my buttocks, gently, drawing me impossibly closer. Grinding our straining erections to rub harder through our clothes.

I pulled my tongue from his mouth slowly and kissed his lips again, placing soft kisses upon them, on his cheeks, his nose, his closed eyelids and his strong jaw, before returning back to his mouth, murmuring, soft sensual words against his now achingly swollen red lips, he parted them again, this time he placed his lips against my own  similarly swollen lips, and slid his tongue to softly lick against them, I complied with his silent request, and allowed him entry to my mouth, he plundered my mouth thoroughly and slowly sucked the breath out of my lungs, I was feeling dizzy with lust, he ground his hips back towards mine, until we were both thrusting rhythmically, increasing our pace together, trying to climax.

Our mouths still connected as we devoured each other fiercely, neither of us willing to back down.

I broke apart abruptly, when the need for air became essential, his breath was as raspy as mine, he laid his head softy in the crook of my neck, I thought he was trying to gain his breath and composure, until he started sucking on my neck, slowly biting, I was right about him he would make a very good student.

I started grinding against him faster and harder, hearing his soft exclamation of pleasure, we were both so aroused that it hurt; all I could think about was cumming, right here and right now.

I was surprised to feel his hand slowly unbutton my pants and slipping inside my underwear to gently release my straining erection from its confinement, he started stroking me, his hands rough from labor, but experienced, probably from pleasuring himself. 

So much for being the blushing virgin.

I was very close to the edge, before with a groan I climaxed.

I was trying to calm my breathing back to normal, while he gently cleaned me up and rebuttoned my pants.

I looked at his cock it was tenting his pants almost painfully, so I quickly sunk to my knees, unzipped his jeans, took out his cock  it was just like the rest of him beautiful and well proportioned, every man's envy and started  to return the favor with my mouth.

He moaned and writhed in pleasure, a few minutes later he climaxed as well with a broken moan of pleasure.

I slowly zipped up his pants and stood up; he was still reeling from his orgasm. He looked at me and I pressed my lips against his, he deepened the kiss quickly and his tongue pushed into my mouth sucking on my tongue, tasting himself on my mouth, moaning franticly.

We broke apart, smiled at each other and I asked him to meet me at my place this Thursday, I gave him my address and he agreed.

We kissed again just touching our lips together and I walked off to my office, all I could think about, was how by this Thursday, I will have "popped his cherry", only 3 more days to go.

_~Sirius p.o.v~_

What the hell did I just do?

I must be crazy, I just gave a complete stranger a handjob, and gotten a blowjob in broad day light in an ally, I must be crazy!

Forget that, I also just agreed coming over to his place in 3 days, knowing exactly what will happen to me when I'm there, strike that, what I think I want to happen to me, I think I should first of all remind myself that I'm 14 and he is 26! 

Am I ready for this? What if I chicken out of it?

I walked away from "the scene of the crime", contemplating my actions, and whether I should go to his house, I mean just because I live in a commune doesn't mean I see sex all the time, sure the "grownup" have a lot of sex, but us kids don't, we are not involved in it, and my mom as opened minded as she is, (she did buy me a pack of "glow in the dark" condoms when I turned 14) she  wouldn't be too happy about me shagging an older guy, or one of "the commune " people.

I strolled the streets of Yorkshire aimlessly before I realized it was already 7 pm, I was late, all I could hope was that Odin was his usual "spacey" self, and he would be late as well; otherwise, there goes my ride.

I ran all the way to "the bend" (10 minutes run), and slammed right into someone, we both toppled to the ground, I immediately recognized the yelp of pain, emitted from my "victim" as Odin's unique deep voice.

We both glanced up and laughed. We laughed all the way back home.

I had made up my mind, come Thursday night, I will be with Cameron.

Only one more night to go, I was so nervous, but it had to be done, I was so curious about sex, sex with Cameron!

I bet it will be wonderful, unforgettable. But I'm also terrified; I stole a sex magazine called "The Dilddo" from Quinn, yesterday. I have no idea how he will fit in there it will probably be very painful, but in the magazine it looked very HOT!

So that was it ,my mind was made, now is the time to figure out how I was going to get a ride to Yorkshire tomorrow night, most importantly though, what to tell my mom.

I was thinking about what to wear tomorrow when James' owl Spike floated into my room and landed on Zombie's (my big black owl) cage, a letter tied to his leg, I took the letter, offering Spike some water and owl treats which he happily accepted, and read James' reply, (I had told him about Cameron, not in great details, but that I want to sleep with him).

I was suddenly very nervous, what will James say; he is my best friend, what will he say about me being a "poof"- because I am pretty sure I am.

I slowly opened James' letter and started reading. The usual friendly greeting followed by James' acceptance of my preferences followed by his disbelief at my decision, he did have some very logical reasons ("do you even know the guy?" "He is too old" "you could get hurt" what if you change your mind in the middle"), but when my mind is made up, I just don't listen, flaw number 1.

**_~Thursday night~_**

****

I walked nervously to his door, Odin had dropped me off, they all believe I'm sleeping over at a friend's house.

"Oh mom if you could see me know!" I thought desperately.

"I can't do this, I'm only 14, maybe when I'm older, yeah that's it Sirius, just walk away."

But then I started thinking about that Monday in that ally, his lips on mine, his hips grinding harder and faster into mine, the madness of the situation, watching his face when he came all over my hand, his moan reverberating in his body and through me and finally my cock sliding down his throat. I wanted to do that to him; I wanted to suck his beautiful cock, lick it and stroke it with my tongue and watch him cum in my mouth, like he did in my hand that Monday, but was I ready for more?

My hand knocked on his door before I even managed to answer my own question; well it's now or never.

Cameron opened the door, dressed in a tight black t-shirt and tight blue jeans, his hair was wet and sexily tousled, he smiled sensually at me and all my past doubts disappeared, I don't care what happens later, but for tonight I will be anything he wants me to be.

He invited me in, I couldn't help watching his hips, sway as he walked, nor how firm and tight his ass looked in those tight blue jeans, the fabric stretching over his ass, and when he turned around over his crutch as well.

He caught me checking him out, and I couldn't help but blush and look away.

He smirked again, and offered me something to drink, we both chose a glass of red wine, when I leaned towards him, so he could fill my glass, he looked me over, slowly undressing me with his eyes, I wished I wasn't wearing my tight red t- shirt and black trousers, I wanted to be naked and in his arms when he whispered softly in my ear.

"I love what you are wearing, I love how tight it is on your body, but mostly I think I would love to see you out of these clothes, on my bed, naked and writhing with pleasure" 

I blushed furiously, and took a big sip of my wine, it was very sweet with just a hint of fruit in it, I was intoxicated by its heady aroma, it was the perfect wine for seduction, and I liked the thought of being seduced, I felt light headed at the thought of being seduced by Cameron.

"Come I'll show you my apartment" he smiled at me predatorily; I swallowed the lump in my throat and followed his lead, reminding myself that whatever happens tonight, I will be fine.

His house was beautifully furnished, lavish, somewhat sparse, but with  a sense of warmth to it, I felt very reassured, I let my palms slide on the handsome mahogany railing, as we went upstairs, towards his bedroom, I had no doubt.

The mahogany railing felt cool and smooth to my hands, in contradiction to my sweating hands and frantic breathing. 

I concentrated on that cool and slick mahogany railing, walking up the stairs, ignoring my mind, telling me to run now, just to turn back and go home, to my bed, to stay innocent a while longer, because tonight everything will change forever.

I walked on, feeling like a man condemned, wanting to run, but also unable to, there were handcuffs on my hands and legs, and all I could do was walk on behind Cameron, and see what's behind door number 1.

We reached his bedroom, it had a beautiful large French window that opened to the view of what country side that remained in Yorkshire, the stars shined in their brilliance tonight, the moon full, which immediately made me think of Remus, in his parent's cellar right now, howling. I never told him about this, about Cameron, he would get mad if he knew, he hated that I was sleeping around with those girls, what would you do if you could see me now, Rem? 

Cameron walked closer to the bed which was king sized, covered in cream colored satin sheets and took up more then half of the room.

He turned towards me and told me huskily, to put down my glass of wine and come closer to him.

I obediently complied, walking to his dresser and placing my half finished glass of wine next to his empty one, I took that moment to compose myself, and turned around walking slowly towards him, swaying my hips slowly, pouting my lips, and looking up at him, if this is going to happen I refuse to be a submissive little virgin, I decided.

His eyes flashed at me, turning from chocolate brown, to nearly black with passion, his eyes raking over my body from my swaying hips to my lower lip which I gently nipped.

His mouth descended on mine before I could take a breath, his arms closing around my waist, drawing me into his embrace, slowly sliding to massage my buttocks.

I opened my mouth and slid my tongue into his mouth, toying with his tongue, before nipping gently on his lips, the taste of the sweet wine lingering in his mouth, making the kiss that more arousing, my heart was already pounding but with excitement instead of trepidation, the blood flowing through my veins like molten lava.

We started kissing franticly, his hand slid under my shirt, trailing his cool hands on my back and then on my stomach, causing goose bumps, all over my skin, I shivered and moaned into his mouth, his tongue dueling with mine, before sucking on it. My pants felt too tight, my cock getting harder then I thought was possible, until my encounter with Cameron on Monday.

We both took off my shirt, which forced us to stop kissing, as soon as my shirt was off, I leaned towards him to resume our kissing, but his hand on my jaw stopped me, I opened my eyes, and looked at him bewildered.

"Do you have any idea how sexy your lips look stained with wine and swollen from my kisses?" he said to me breathing heavily, his face inches from mine, his breath hot and irregular on my lips and eyes boring holes into my soul.

"Fuck me" I said, unexpectedly.

He was surprised, so was I, but he just smirked his known smirk and started trailing his lips down my body, kissing my ear, my jaw, my neck, moving slowly leisurely to my collar bone, before circling my nipple, he started to nip it slowly before, biting it, I jumped and gasped at the pleasure pain sensation that coursed through my body.

"God, do it again" I pleaded with him, pressing his head closer to my nipple,

He bit it again then started sucking on it, before he let my tortured nipple slip from his mouth, then he gently blew on the abused flesh, which made me hiss with pleasure.

He turned his head and gave the other nipple the same treatment, while using his hand to pinch and rub the first, keeping me on the edge of pleasure.

I couldn't take the teasing any more, and I started pushing him towards the bed. Cameron looked up from my chest into my eyes, recognizing the urgency in them, his hands slid from my chest to my trousers, he slowly unzipped my pants, and we both watched them slip down my ankles to the floor, I stepped out of them, only to feel him slip his cool hands into my underwear, stroking me, slowly, just enjoying the feeling of my hardness in his hands, and hearing my moans of pleasure.

I let my underwear pool down to my ankles, and watched them join my pants on the floor, creating a nice jumble of colors on Cameron's cream colored carpet.

"Take off your shoes, and socks" said Cameron forcefully.

  I did as I was told, deciding to tease him a bit, I turned my back to him, and bent down to unlace my shoes, hearing him groan at the sight of my ass bare to his inspection, I guess he liked what he saw.

I took off my shoes and socks and turned to face him, standing proud, and smiled cheekily. I was used to nakedness, and I knew I was good looking.

He got up from the bed and took off his shirt hurriedly, tossing it to the floor to join my own discarded clothes, later his shoes and socks joined the foray as well, he was unzipping his jeans, when I walked towards him, helping him remove them, with his underwear, and tossing them as well.

I sunk down to my knees, he was beautiful, I gently stroked him with my hand, hot, silky and hard like me, but different. 

I cautiously leaned down I wanted to do to him what he had don't to me in that ally on Monday.

I became engrossed with his taste and his smell, that when he finally pulled me off him, I moaned in protest.

"I don't want to cum in your mouth, however sweet it is, Sirius" 

I knew what he wanted but I wasn't sure I could do it, he must have sensed my agitation, because he gently tugged my hand towards the bed, I laid down, on the silky sheets, cool against my warm body, and he started kissing my mouth, nibbling on my lower lip, before trailing kisses down my chest towards my belly button, tonguing it furiously, and trailing even lower towards my groin, burying his nose in my pubic hair and breathing deep, before trailing kisses over me, I felt his hand gently trailing towards my entrance , his fingers gently massaging the opening, his mouth bobbing up and down on my hardness, increasing the pace, my heart was beating so fast, and then his finger pushed into me, and I was groaning and screaming as I climaxed. 

He kept sucking until I was hard again and reached towards a tube of gel and a condom from his nightstand, he flipped open the cap on the tube , and poured some of the nearly transparent substance on his fingers, then he looked up into my eyes, as if sensing my nervousness and fear.

"Don't worry I'll be gentle, but you have to tell me if it hurts too bad and try to stay relaxed, ok?"

He looked so comforting and kind that I knew I trusted him; I nodded slowly, taking a deep breath, as he prepared me.

A few minutes later, his fingers touched something inside of me; I jumped and moaned in pleasure, stars bursting in front of my eyes.

"What was that?" I asked surprised.

"What? You mean this?" he brushed his fingers over my pleasure spot again, and I writhed on the bed, he kept brushing his fingers across it, until I thought I would burst from the sensation alone.

I whimpered when he pulled his fingers from my body. I watched him put on the condom and rub lube on it,  he lifted my legs and placed them on his shoulders, his body supporting my weight, I quickly closed my eyes, so that I wouldn't see him entering my body, and I won't clench my muscles.

 In minutes, I felt the head gently pressing into my entrance, I panicked anyway, he pressed forward, piercing slowly through the ring of muscles.

I couldn't hold back my cry of pain, nor prevent my muscles from clenching around him.

"Sirius, you have to relax, I promise it will feel better, once I'm completely in." Cameron told me gently, beads of sweat appearing on his forehead and neck from the strain of staying still.

I nodded and tried to relax my body, I couldn't hold back another cry of pain as he sheathed himself inside of me, he was completely still, waiting for my body to adjust and the pain to lessen, to a mere burn.

When I could breathe more regularly, he started moving inside of me, I tried to hold back my moan of pain, but I couldn't.

Finally his hand crept towards my now semi hard erection, and began pleasuring me.

I started moaning softly, as he stroked harder, the pain in my lower body, lessening.

We quickly established a rhythm, I found myself rolling my hips towards his hand, as well as his hips, my hands on his buttocks, pushing him closer towards me, so I could feel every part of him close to me, on me, taste his skin, his lips, our breaths mingling together, as we both moved closer to orgasm.

Suddenly Cameron angled his hips and hit that mysterious pleasure point inside of me, I cried out his name in pleasure, before his lips covered mine, his tongue pushing roughly into my mouth dueling with mine. 

His hand stroking me harder his hips pounding into me, always hitting that nub of pleasure, I was writhing and moaning uncontrollably.

Nothing had ever felt so good; I moaned again, feeling Cameron shuddering against me, he was close as well; he squeezed me and whispered things in my ear.

"You are so fucking beautiful, I love shagging you, can you feel me pounding inside of you? I want you to cum for me, love, cum for me now"

I couldn't hold back anymore, I came hard, all over my chest and Cameron's hand, crying out his name over and over again, until it became a whisper on my tortured swollen lips.

My muscles clenching around him, nearly painful, he thrust into me one last time, and came with a deep groan.

He collapsed tiredly on top of me, still inside of me.

Our breaths slowly returning to normal.

Cameron lifted his head and looked up at me.

"Are you all right?" he asked, his hand running gently through my hair, caressing my cheek.

I couldn't answer I was still reeling from my mind blowing orgasm, I simply nodded at him, feeling very tired.

Cameron slowly lifted himself of my body, carefully slipping out, I couldn't help but wince, I was very sore, but it was worth it.

I watched him take out a cigarette and light up, and start smoking, blowing white smoke circles into the air above the bed we shared. 

He saw me staring and wordlessly offered me a fag, which I took, the smoke burned my throat, making me gag, and my eyes tear up, I started coughing.

He laughed softly at me.

"You've never smoked have you" he stated, I blushed and nodded. What is with me, I just slept with the guy, and now I'm blushing again.

Cameron smiled at me sweetly, and proceeded in showing me how to properly smoke a cigarette.

Three cigarette buds later, we fell asleep, tired but contended, I hope I wont be too sore tomorrow, I wouldn't mind having another go, before I leave.

I still can't believe I did it; James and Remus will kill me when they find out.

Well I hope it wasn't to boring.

Let me know what you think, good or bad, I want to know.

From this chapter on, the story will be R rated, very graphic, you are fore warned.

Any who wish to read the NC-17 version of this chapter, can either go to:

 Or: leave me a message in the reviews box with his email, and I'll email him the uncensored chapter.

Chapter 4: Sirius' and Cameron's relationship, Cameron finding out the truth 

                  about Sirius, going out to night clubs, threesomes, dirty photos 

                  and a bit more about life in the commune.

Flames will be used to barbeque voldermort hot dogs, this Friday, thank you.


	4. Corrupted By Love

** Of beauty – by FunkyCharms21**

Disclaimer: I own nothing but my own characters and a rotten job!

Summery: the life of Sirius black- from 4th year in Hogwarts, this is a **slash** story with multiple partners (my characters) and eventual Remus/ Sirius. Told from many different points of views.

Warning: very graphical sex scene and underage sex, if you are too young or sickened by the thought of two men together in sexual situations, leave now!

Rating: R (very graphic/under age sex)

**Chapter 4 – Corrupted By Love**

_~ Sirius' p.o.v~_

_Everything was swirling, I was running, my vision obscure, all I could see was shadows of trees, but the scent of the earth was strong and  rich, the grass so alive under my paws, my paws?_

_Where was I?_

_Behind me I heard a growl emitted followed by a howl, I turned slowly, my tail, tail? Between my legs._

_Through my impaired vision, I could see and smell, a wolf, but this was no ordinary wolf, this wolf smelled like Remmy,fresh and sweet, with a touch of melancholy lemon , how can that be?_

_Remus' alter ego was staring right at me looking menacing, he bared his teeth at me and approached me slowly, predatorily, the canine inside of me, whined softly, lowered its head, and submitted to the wolf. the wolf cautiously circled around me, sniffing me before moving closer, and placing his jaws around my throat, I whined some more, as he tightened the hold, I could feel the sharp teeth pricking the skin of my neck every time I inhaled, the jaws tightened further, I was panicking, but the dog, I was sure by now that I was a dog, would not budge from his submissive stance, suddenly the jaws were gone, replaced by a warm tongue lapping at my black fur, muzzle, and my ear._

"Wake up Sirius" a voice whispered softly in my ear. Before a warm tongue, much like the wolf began licking my outer ear, circling it before sucking on the lobe.

That was weird I thought hazily, I have my own bed in the commune, and it's not nearly as comfortable as this, nor that warm and welcoming.

The tongue licking me had slowly moved down my neck, before a warm mouth gently bit then sucked and licked the pulse point at the crook of my neck.

I immediately woke up, jumped up in the bed that clearly was not mine, and looked into the face that looked nothing like Quinn, Armadia, Caleb and Chairmain (my scary roommate).

Suddenly I felt a burning pain in my lower body, and last night rushed quickly into my mind, Cameron, I was in his place, last night I had sex with him. Damn, what time was it?

 I looked back at Cameron; he was still beautiful, even with his hair sticking up every which way, clearly a "bed head", his eyes still squinting in the sunlight poring through his French windows, with the blanket, hugging his firm hips, leaving the rest of him bare to my inspection.

I licked my lips nervously, was I regretting last night? To tell the truth, not one bit! I wanted to go again, right then, with him looking lustfully at me, I moved closer, and a twinge of pain, reverberated through my tired body, reminding me once again that I was very sore.

Cameron smiled knowingly before drawing me near and kissing me senseless, I could definitely have another go, I'm not that sore.

_~Cameron's p.o.v ~_

Well, I did it, he came Thursday night and I shagged him, he was as good as I imagined and also full of surprises. 

 He was such a contradiction, innocent virgin, turned into devilish tease.

And then I took him, he asked me too, begged me to, in his sensual voice his lips red from the wine and swollen from my kisses.

"Fuck me" he said, so I did, it was painful for him at first, but he was enjoying himself, if ejaculating over my hand and his chest was any indication of that.

I woke up to the sound of the birds singing near my bedroom window, damn, forgot to close it after the seduction was over.

I looked at Sirius lying next to me, his beautiful eyelashes once again covering those exquisite purple eyes, fanning over his cheeks, his red lips, slightly parted, still swollen from last night's activities; he looked so young and beautiful, almost like a child.

His eyelids were fluttering in sleep, his eyes moving beneath his closed lids as though he was dreaming, I had to have him again, I just hope he isn't too sore.

I started whispering softly to him, then I licked and sucked on his ear lobe, before moving to suck and bite his elegant smooth neck, still baring the marks I passionately imprinted on him in the throes of passion last night.

He woke up bewildered, before he remembered last night, I drew him back into my arms and started kissing him, persistently and sensually, I won't take no for an answer, I coaxed him easily to take a shower with me, promising him a whole new experience, called rimming. 

We stumbled like two drunks into the shower, toothbrush in hand (he brought his own, the little devil), and I turned on the hot water, it poured over us in scolding hot streams, Sirius, leaned into the hot spray, moaning his content as his sore muscles relaxed under the hot water, rolling back his broad shoulder, stretching  his beautiful body, we kissed then, I had to stick my tongue in his mouth, we both remembered belatedly the tooth paste foam still in our mouths, and started  to thoroughly rinse away the foam as well as the awful taste of it. when that was done, we looked at each other and laughed before we both leaned in, merely centimeters apart, looked in each others eyes, and slowly closed them, Sirius leaned into me, his lips pressing gently against mine, before parting to admit my tongue, we simply kissed for a few minutes, enjoying the feel and the taste, the pepper mint flavor of the tooth paste was pleasant but incredibly sexy combined with Sirius' own sweet flavor, just a hint of last nights' wine left on the inside of his mouth, my tongue made a thorough sweep inside of his mouth, my hands pulled his young, smooth body closer to my own firm one, he was warm silk in my arms, like honey on my tongue, addictive like heroin, and I had to have him.

We broke apart ,breathless, still close, our hot breaths mingling, I could still smell my scent on his skin, the thought of him being mine, completely and utterly mine, was astoundingly arousing, he was mine, I took him, that's all I could think about as his beautiful purple eyes blazed with desire, for me.

I turned him around, bracing his arms against my shower wall, my arms gently trailing on the smooth nearly hairless skin of his arms, fore arms and shoulders, so smooth, young, and mine, my hands continued trailing along his back, softly massaging his sore muscles, along the spinal cord, leading to the heavenly globs that protected that incredible place, no longer innocent, where last night I had entered for the first time, I was his first, he was mine.

"No matter who will come after me, remember I was your first, you belong to me" I whispered in his ear, his skin already flushed, his cock twitching in it's bed of silky black curls, mine.

I knelt down before that beautiful ass and asked Sirius, to lean forward more, to stick more of that beautiful ass for me, he did as I asked, opening himself to me as he had done just last night.

I skimmed my hands across the lovely globes, massaging them gently, before parting them, he hissed quietly, he was very sore, thank god I had a tub of lube and a condom in the drawer near the shower stall, he will definitely appreciate it. 

I looked at the cleft hidden between these golden cheeks, it was quite red, not too bad, and just a bit swollen, I knew just the cure for that.

"Cameron what are you doing?" he asked me, his voice raspy with lust, he liked it, I could tell, but was held back by his ideas of what is proper or not, I knew he will not cling to those thoughts for long, why? Because of his open minded background, and mostly because of pleasure.

"Relax, you will enjoy this" he turned around again, letting me worship his body, when I'm finished with him, he will be the embodiment of sex, he already had the potential.

Sirius was moaning by then, his body shaking, knees weak, but I continued my assault mercilessly.

"Cam, you have to stop I'm going to cum" he told me hoarsely, before moaning my name.

I loved the way he moaned my name, I would do anything just to hear my name on his lips, being voiced during pleasure, the sound so arousing, like a hand stroking my cock, or a warm mouth enveloping my hardness, that's how he effects me, mine.

I continued my ministrations. and then he came, all over the shower wall, moaning my name till he could say no more, his knees buckled, but I held him up, pushing my tongue further inside of him, as his muscles convulsed from the force of his orgasm.

I slipped out of him gently, he had already recovered somewhat, and could again support his weight. 

He turned towards me asking me with his eyes, what had just happened.

"That is the power of proper rimming; I bet you didn't even know it existed"

Sirius nodded dumbly at me, before smiling devilishly the water cascading over us, still hot. he grabbed the soap and began washing my body, stroking and caressing, exploring me, before his hand swept over my erection, hard and weeping, stroking me then dropping to his knees, his tongue peeking out through his straight white teeth, he lapped up a drop of pre-cum, from the head of my cock, I moaned through my clenched teeth.

"I want you to fuck me again, right here, with the hot water and steam around us" said Sirius, before circling my head with his tongue, his eyes never leaving mine.

"I will, but I want you to prepare my cock, get it nice and wet"

He willingly obliged, his tongue, licking everywhere, my shaft, my balls, the head of my cock, before taking me deep into his mouth, as deep as he could without gagging, it was hard giving him instructions, when I could barley think much less do more then moaning incoherently.

By the time I had nearly reached my peak, Sirius had figured out by himself how to deep throat, which he immediately, performed on me, naturally I could no longer hold my orgasm at bay, and before I could think of warning Sirius, I came hard, stars bursting in front of my open yet unseeing eyes, then my knees buckled slightly and my vision blackened for a few seconds. 

Sirius was surprised, to say the least, but he didn't even gag and swallowed it all down.

I leaned back and allowed him to continue lapping at me, until my cock had hardened again.

I placed the condom and lube in his hand, and watched him tear the packet with his straight even white teeth, red lips smeared lightly with my cum, he fumbled slightly but managed to put the condom on my cock properly, before rubbing lube all over the straining member, with that done he stood up, looking straight into my eyes.

"Turn around like before, stick that beautiful bum towards me Sirius, I'll go slow, I bet you are still sore" 

Sirius smiled at me, a genuine smile, of trust, and turned around, doing as I asked.

I poured the lube on my fingers, and gently parted his ass cheeks, squeezing them gently before tracing my fingers teasingly around the ring of flesh, it was now a healthy shade of pink, still a bit sore, I entered him gently, with one finger, he hissed softly, but relaxed, I gently stretched his hole, before slipping a second finger, scissoring them inside of him, followed by a third, then I explored his hole with my fingers looking for that gland, inside of him, got it!

Sirius started moaning again, his body arching towards my fingers, pushing them further in, I continued stretching him, then slipped my fingers out, Sirius whimpered his protest, before moaning with, (was it pleasure?) As my cock slipped in, buried inside of him to the hilt in one thrust, replacing my fingers, I stood still, letting him get used to the feeling, but Sirius wouldn't have it, he started grinding towards my hips.

"Fuck me already Cameron, I'm going crazy!"

At the sound of his words and the urgency in his voice, I started moving, pulling out, then pushing in, Sirius' body was humming from pleasure, I could hear him purring, he liked being stroked.

I picked up the pace, angling all my thrusts towards that gland, and Sirius started bucking towards me, his hips grinding frantically into mine, his mouth open, murmuring my name, moaning, his hands clenching tightly against the towel hanger attached to my wall. 

"Scream harder, let me hear you, I want to hear my name on your lips, Sirius" I whispered in his ear, he immediately complied, his voice becoming hoarse from his shouts and moans.

I started thrusting harder and faster inside of him, whispering dirty words in his ear.

" I want to push my cock so deep inside of you, that you can feel it in your throat, I'm going to fuck you so hard, you won't be able to sit down properly for a week, would you like that Sirius? Do you want me to fuck you harder?"

"Oh god, harder Cameron, I want you to fuck me harder" Sirius moaned brokenly, beads of sweat pouring down his body mingling with the warm water, soap and steam.

I thrusted even harder, Sirius asked for more, then suddenly he clenched his muscles tightly around me, I groaned from pleasure.

"Don't do that again, or I'll cum" I told him, but he refused to listen, and clenched his muscles around me again, I groaned his name, my hands trailing on his back, then moving towards his manhood, I started squeezing and rubbing it, counter clock wise, then clock wise, keeping him on the edge, for revenge. Sirius continued clenching and unclenching his inner muscles around my erection.

I began feeling the familiar tingle spreading through my body all the way to my toes, my balls tightened, and then Sirius came, his muscles tightening almost unbearably around my manhood, with one final thrust I joined him.

We toppled unceremoniously on the shower floor, slipping out of him, I took off the used condom, tied the ends and threw it to the trash can across from me, I missed. Damn.

Sirius laughed at me, his voice still breathy as he tried to come down from his orgasm.

"I need a cigarette, bad" he joked.

"Turned you into an addict, did I?" 

"Only to your body" he replied teasingly.

We got up and finally took that shower, kissing while we soaped each other up and washed our hair, we ran out when the water had turned icy cold.

We shared a cigarette together, got dressed, and I asked him to come to a night club with me this Saturday, I wanted him to meet the gay scene in Yorkshire.

I dropped him off at his house, more like a mansion, we kissed like two teenagers, making out in the car for more then thirty minutes, before I pushed him out, I gave him my number and told him to call me whenever he wanted.

I drove off feeling aroused yet again at our passionate make out session, I can't wait for Saturday, seeing Sirius on a dance floor in a nightclub, dancing sensually, men trying to approach him but his eyes are trained on me, his body dancing for me, lips pouting for my kiss, my touch, he is mine.

It was hard driving back in my awfully aroused state, so I had to pull over and stroke myself to completion, 10 minutes away from Sirius.

Naturally I was late for work, again.

_ ~ Sirius p.o.v~_

I couldn't stop whistling, nor caressing my lips with the pads of my fingers, where only moments ago I had Cameron's lips on mine, the taste of him lingers in my mouth, more addictive then galloping bare back on Serengela (the fastest stallion we have) with the wind in my face, my knees pinned to it's broad body, hands gripping tightly to the reins, my heart thumping, this is the true meaning of life, nothing could compare to that, nothing but sex with Cameron.

I walked away from the main gate, a smile on my face, I could not stop smiling or whistling for that matter, my feet kicking at the ground, gently tossing lumps of grass in the air, watching it flop soundlessly to the grass covered ground, every gesture even the most simplest things as the almost noon sun shining brightly through her soft bed of white silky clouds, it was all magical.

I walked on to the house, still whistling the unknown tune in my head, only to lift my head and come in contact with the last person I wanted to see right now, my mother, Venetia had apparently seen me and Cameron departing.

Her voice was quiet and soft as was her nature, but today it was lined with a hint of steel, the mother tone.

In all my 14 years of existence I had only heard that tone used on me 6 times, today it seemed scarier then ever.

My mother was by no means a small woman, but she was frail, today however there was no frailty in sight, her shoulders were squared as if she was preparing for a battle, one which both she and I knew she would come out victorious. 

My life had suddenly taken a bleak turn.

No matter how many times I have explained that Cameron and I are just friends, she refused to heed my words; I think she might have seen more then she leads on.

Three long and tiring hours later, it was decided that I was still allowed to see Cameron and spend the night at his place if I were honest with her about my whereabouts.

My mother has always been a wonderfully reasonable person and I love her dearly, come Saturday, I'm going with Cameron to my first night club; hopefully we will later go back to his place.

I went to lunch in the common room's grand hall which serves also as our dining hall.

When I entered through the magnificent oak door, that always remind me of the doors to the grand hall at Hogwarts, I automatically leaned my cheek to receive Tallinn's kiss, Tallinn is none other then the commune's loving "grandmother" she is in her late 50's, her real name was Sabrina, she like all the rest , but us kids, had changed her name upon entering the commune, she couldn't bare children of her own, which is why her husband had divorced her leaving her poor and heartbroken, she found her place again with us, and has been our loving "grandmother" for many years now.

I bid her a good day, and walked towards my regular seat, next to Quinn, my obviously gay yet extremely funny roommate.

Quinn was what you would say a man very much in touch with his feminine side. He was 5"7 with black hair and green eyes, his built more slender then mine, he was 19 but no one would believe that he was older then 15, he had a beautiful smile and he could make you laugh at the most mundane things.

He was very flamboyant, so flamboyant that he always stood on the thin line between what is fashionable and what is too horrendous to wear while gardening, but his eyes were so sincere and honest that you just knew that you were with a beautiful person, both inside and outside, and I adore him, always have and always will.   

I sat down next to Quinn and watched as Armadia, my lovely friend poured some apple juice into my glass, now Armadia was a different story entirely,

She was 17 years old, 5"4 with eyes as brown as chocolate and brown chestnut colored hair, she was my sister in everyway, including annoying me and bossing me around, but I loved her never-ending loyalty, her beautiful poetic moments where she would sit under our favorite apple tree, one hand twirling a lock of my hair, my head in her lap, the other chewing a juicy red apple just picked off the tree, from her mouth pouring the most unique verses, all made up, all her own.

 when we were younger she would make up stories of fairies and giants, demons and angels, spinning them around like gold made from wheat, her eyes bright with her passionate conviction, my true sister by heart.

I smiled fondly as Quinn initiated yet another war with Caleb my third roommate, he was a stubborn person, his need to say the last word in every argument, meant long days of snipe replies and snide comments.

He was not a bad person by any means, he was just misunderstood as he would say, he was 15 and going through puberty worst then all of us ever did, his need for his parents approval, has cost him many tears and heartbreak, which he gently confessed to in the comfort of my bed late at night with no light penetrating the blackness of the night and the darkness in his soul.

He was by far a unique lad, he was 5"6, his hair blonde with red streaks, which he forced Armadia to do, in his latest attempt to shock his parents to react to him, in any way, be it good or bed, his eyes were blue with green flecks in them, he was outgoing and in constant need of affection, which Tallinn was always ready to deliver.

Lunch was uneventful as always and I retired to my room pleading extreme fatigue, I went upstairs with my friends knowing smirks boring into my back.

Upon entering my room, I was struck by a feathery creature aiming towards my eye, I immediately recognized the attacker as Zombie, my black barn owl, apparently he disliked returning to his cage and finding Spike in his place chewing on his favorite owl treats, which no doubt Armadia had give him. 

"I'm sorry Zombie you know I wasn't here" I apologized, calming him down by stroking his beak and the feathers on his back; he relaxed quickly as was his nature and allowed me to resume petting him

I sat down on my bed, finding James' letter on my pillow.

I opened the letter cautiously, almost afraid it will burst.

It read:

_SI_

_You idiot, you did it didn't you? _

_Don't lie I know you did!_

_I don't want to ask this but really, how was it?_

_Wait till Remus and Peter hears of this, they'll go bonkers!_

_I miss you guys terribly, there is nothing to do in France, my uncle and aunt are very boring, all they do is have one long cocktail party after another, I have never worn my festive robes this much my whole life as I did in the past month._

_Meet at Diagon Ally as planned right?_

_Can't wait to see you, you wanker!_

_James._

How the hell do I answer that! As expected James has once again proven his lie detecting skills. Well I might as well confess, I must admit though that the thought of telling Remus about any of this makes me extremely nauseous, but it had to be done before James, my dear mate will blab it all to him.

So I wrote a reply to James, telling him all about my night with Cameron, without the too juicy bits, naturally, agreed to meet in Diagon Ally as planned and sent my reply off with Spike.

Then I began writing one of the hardest letters I ever had to write, I wrote to Remus, nearly chickening out several times, nothing but Gryffindor bravery and pride helped me write the letter, I managed to write very vaguely about my experience with Cameron as well as asked after his well being, it is the night after the full moon after all.

The letter was soon signed sealed and delivered by my faithful owl Zombie to Remus in the states.

_~ Saturday night~_

Cameron picked me up several miles away from home, so as not to arouse Venetia's wrath, so soon after one of our few arguments.

He looked attractive as ever, wearing a blue tank top and a pair a black jeans, he opened the door for me, I climbed in excitedly, attaching my lips to his franticly, we had been apart for a day and already I was suffering from withdrawal.

He commented on my choice of clothing which was much like his, I wore a pair of pale tight blue jeans and a black buttoned up shirt, I had left the first 3 buttons undone, so  Cameron could see just a hint of my nipple peeking out.

We kissed again just a gentle brush of lips before Cameron finally put the car in gear and drove off.

We arrived at "The Zone" night club 30 minutes later, breathless and aroused, we both just thought of turning back to go to his place or simply finding a dark enough ally.

All through the drive Cameron's hand trailed across my inner thigh, drawing circles, inching closer and closer to my already hard cock, my breath hitched with anticipation, but his fingers passed my hardness several times, his touches feathery light only causing my manhood to harden further, but offering no respite.

In the end I decided it was time to take matters into my own hands, literally, I unzipped my jeans and started stroking my cock, feeling Cameron's eyes on me, hearing him gasp from desire, it only fueled me further, I began stroking harder, and moaning his name in ecstasy, and that was it, he pulled the car over nearly crashing into a garbage truck and running over an old lady walking her dog on the pavement. 

He put his hand over mine, and began stroking me faster, his eyes intent on mine, his tongue picking out between his teeth as he chewed it softly, running it across his lips in concentration.

I moaned again at the sight we made, his hand on me, his eyes two pools of hot caramel sauce, he was as aroused as me; the only sound in the car was the sound of his hand stroking me and our combined pants, broken only by the sound of his name being moaned through my parted lips.

And that was the moment I climaxed, in our joint hands, his mouth immediately attached to mine, tongue plunging into my willing mouth, swallowing my groan of pleasure, his mouth devoured mine, I felt consumed, desired and beautiful in his arms.

Cameron started the car a few minutes later, and we arrived at the club, slightly disheveled but still very much aroused, after much debate we agreed to enter.

The line to the club was very long, but we didn't stand there, Cameron dragged me with him towards the bouncer who immediately recognized him and let us enter.

As soon as we entered I was struck by the strong scent of sex, smoke, sweat and alcohol, the lights were blinding and the music was very loud, in short, it was perfect.

Cameron went to the bar to get us a drink while I walked on to the dance floor; I had never seen anything like it, so many men in the same place, not a female in sight, men were dancing, talking, drinking, smoking, kissing and making out, everywhere I looked, I loved it.

Cameron returned with a drink, he had gotten an absolute for himself and a cosmopolitan for me, I took a sip from my drink it was very much like a martini, and I liked it already, I tasted a bit from his, and gagged furiously, Cameron laughed, the sound musical to my ears compared to the loud racket of the club, and gently tapped my back.

We went to the dance floor and began dancing, both of us teasing each other, our hips swaying, hands trailing over our body intimately caressing, before we realized what was happening, men swarmed around us, coaxing us gently or forcefully to dance with them, we declined them all, our eyes seeing only each other. 

We danced for hours, and drank all sorts of bizarre drinks, laughing with each other, until Cameron could take no more, and sat down nursing his glass of Jack Daniels, I continued dancing, my eyes glued to his, my body swaying to the now slow rhythm, my hands trailing through my hair, down my face, gently brushing my lips, before biting the lower one with my teeth, just enough for it to become red and swollen, my hands traveled lower down my chest slowly rubbing my nipples until they hardened and could be seen protruding through my buttoned up black shirt.

I slipped my hand inside my nearly unbuttoned shirt to stroke my nipples harder, pinching them slowly.

Cameron by now was nearly salivating; I could feel the heat of his arousal radiating from him, even though I was a few feets away from him. 

My hand traveled further down again, caressing my taut stomach, and then caressing my erection through my jeans, I grabbed my cock, moaning softly, and rubbed, my other hand began slowly unzipping my jeans, that was when Cameron had risen from his seat grabbed my arm and dragged me towards the car, only then did I notice that not only Cameron was previous to my little show, the rest of the club did as well, since they whistled clapped and cat called after us as we left in a rush to Cameron's car.

Normally I would have been embarrassed but tonight I just couldn't be bothered.

Cameron drove like a maniac all the way home, we burst through the door to his apartment, our mouths fused together in a hot kiss, our tongues dueling with each other for dominance, before we both retreated to nibble on each others lips, our nipps turned to bites, our clothes thrown off in a haste, we tumbled on the bed, without remembering how we arrived upstairs at all.

My hands caressed Cameron's body heatedly, playing with his nipples, roughly, making him hiss in my mouth with the pleasure pain sensation, he in turn grabbed my ass and squeezed tight, pulling me closer, rubbing his erection against my stomach, followed by my own erection, we both moaned with pleasure, the sound drowned in each others mouth.

We broke apart finally panting.

"You fucking tease, I can't believe you did that" exclaimed Cameron, his eyes burning with desire.

"Liked that did you? You know what I would like? You and me in this bed fucking like there is no tomorrow" I whispered sensually against his wet lips.

Cameron suddenly got up and walked towards his closet, I stared after him in surprise, until he returned carrying a camera in his hand, the one he used at work, photographing for the "Yorkshire bulletin".

He looked at me, a plead in his eyes.

"Sirius I want to take pictures of you, naked, will you let me?"

I was silent; I could not utter a word, take naked pictures? No way!

But then I thought about him looking at those photos when I'm not there, getting aroused by them, stroking his cock and cumming moaning my name, all the while looking at my pictures, the thought turned my blood to fire, as though I had just dawned a whole pitcher of Fire Whisky.

I nodded my ascent, and watched him set his camera, at first I was very shy, and Cameron had to give me instructions, how to pose, where to put my hand, cross my legs like so.

Until he finally played some music and asked me to touch myself like I did at the club.

I wetted my lips thoroughly with my tongue, a flash went off from the camera, I closed my eyes and concentrated on my feelings on that dance floor, my eyes on Cameron, I opened my eyes again catching his lustful gaze.

My hands trailed over my body of their own accord, I tweaked my nipples, caressed my chest, imagining my hands were Cameron's ,every feathery light caress was Cameron's lips, every firm touch was Cameron's hands rubbing my skin.

I stroked myself, like Cameron had done to me on Thursday night, moaning deeply, before I felt Cameron's lips on mine, I parted my lips, wrapping my tongue around his and sucked.

Cam pushed me backwards gently unto the bed, my body shivering as it came in contact with the cool, unruffled sheets.

He climbed on top of me, the camera left forgotten on its stand.

We kissed again, before he trailed hot kisses all over my neck and chest, sucking on my nipples, until they became red and swollen their peaks sticking up from my chest. 

But he didn't stop there, his tongue licked a trail towards my belly button, plunging inside and retreating, mimicking the movements he will perform inside of me in a few minutes.

His tongue continued on, undeterred by my moans and pleads, he licked along my shaft till the head, before he swallowed me whole, his tongue still licking across my shaft, then he pursed his lips tight around my cock and began bobbing his head up and down, stroking my cock from head to base.

I moaned frantically, my hands tangled in his hair, pushing my cock further into his ravenous mouth.

My body felt hot all over, like I was suffering from hot waves, my mouth felt dry, my voice hoarse, I could feel the string in my stomach begin to uncoil.

Then he pulled his mouth off of me, I groaned in frustration.

Cameron laughed softy, before putting on a condom, and rubbing lube on his shaft and fingers, coating them thoroughly, I lifted my legs up and parted them, Cameron smiled at my readiness.

I barley flinched as the first finger pierced my hole, Cameron twisted it gently inside of me, fucking me with his finger, before adding a second, 

stretching my tight opening further, he slipped his fingers deeper searching for that spot inside of me, and found it.

My body arched of the bed in pleasure, I moaned his name, I was already strung high from my near orgasm, my body feeling more sensitive then ever.

A third finger was hardly noticeable; unfortunately Cameron's cock was noticeable indeed, I winced slightly in pain, as Cameron slid his cock gently inside of me, the pain didn't last long, Cameron waited for my signal, before he began to rock his hips slowly, pushing further inside of me, I sighed in pleasure.

We set a rhythm that suited us both, Cameron pushing inside of me at the same time as I was rubbing my erection, our movements in sync, our breaths and heart beat as one.

Suddenly Cameron pulled out.

"Turn around Sirius I want to fuck you from behind" I complied quickly, wanting him back inside of me again.

I turned around sitting on four, leaning my head and chest on the pillows, pushing my ass up for him, he knelt over me, kissed my neck, and gently guided his erection back inside of me, there was no pain this time, only the feeling of being filled to the brim.

He started moving faster inside of me, the new position allowing him to rub constantly against my prostate, making me delirious. 

My cock trapped between my body and the sheets, the power of Cameron's thrust making it rub against the sheets.

I clenched my muscles around Cameron, hearing him groan loudly in surprise and pleasure.

I did it several more times, before Cameron's hand slid between my body and the sheets and began stroking my cock, squeezing gently, then harder.

My orgasm came unexpectedly, stars burst before my eyes, I screamed Cameron's name, and came hard against the sheets, feeling Cameron swell impossibly inside of my tight walls, before they clenched around him, he came mere seconds after me.

Dropping bonelessly on top of me, his heart pounding with unity to mine, our sweat mingling, our bodies exhausted.

A few minutes later we stirred, Cameron slipped out of me gently, pulling me towards him for a deep kiss.

"You are incredible" he whispered in my ear before we fell asleep.

We quickly fell into a routine we both loved, we went out to clubs almost every night, teased each other mercilessly then we went back home, just the two of us, and shagged till the sun streamed through Cameron's bedroom window.

But like all good things, our lovely routine had also come to an end, it was three weeks after our little affair had began, only 2 more weeks until I will meet Remus, James and Peter in Diagon Ally to buy our school supplies.

Like every night lately me and Cameron had gone out to "Tarantula" to enjoy another wonderful night of drinking, dancing and shagging.

I waited for Cameron to return with our drinks, while swaying lightly to the beat up music, when suddenly arms wrapped around my waist turned me swiftly around, I smiled and allowed my captor to turn me towards him, my face already lifted towards Cameron's to receive his kiss, only to stare up in to big blue eyes, attached to a face that looked nothing like Cameron's.

I tried to slip out of the man's grip, but I couldn't he was gripping me tight, he was as tall as Cameron with spiky black hair, I panicked, my eyes scanning for Cameron's comforting presence in the mass of people surrounding me.

"Relax Sirius, this is a friend of mine, his name is Sam, say hello to Sam, Sirius, he will be joining us tonight." Whispered Cameron, he was right behind me, his hands softly caressing my hair.

By the tone of his voice I knew this "Sam" was not joining us for a cup of coffee and cake, there was more to it.

It became even more obvious when Sam began pulling me towards him and pressed his lips against mine, his tongue seeking entrance to my mouth, I tensed until Cam's reassuring touch, relaxed me; I complied and let Sam devour my mouth. 

"Beautiful, Sirius, you are so beautiful" whispered Cameron in my ear, his hands gliding slowly from my hair to the nape of my neck, trailing down towards my ass, he squeezed my buttocks gently, before circling my waist and pulling my body closer to his, rubbing his erection in my lower back, I was sandwiched between them both, my mouth still being plundered by Sam, and my neck sucked on by Cameron,  I was shivering with desire, my  traitorous body already responding, but I didn't want this, I wanted our routine back, my heart was weeping for it.

I want just me and Cameron, together no outsiders, was I suddenly not good enough?

But I didn't voice my thoughts, this could be a one time thing, just for fun, and it might be nice, I was already aroused.

Sam kissed me some more, before Cameron started ushering us to the door.

I spent the whole drive to Cameron's place in the backseat with Sam; he was a very good kisser, his tongue was plundering my mouth constantly, slipping in and out, imitating what would happen later tonight, in Cameron's bed.

I was already feeling feverish, Sam's hands were stroking me through my pants, I couldn't hold back my moans.

I could feel Cameron's eyes watching us through the rear view mirror, his eyes caressing me, heightening my desire, by the time we arrived to Cameron's apartment I was lost, I would have done anything they wanted, just so this wonderful feeling would continue, so I could find release.

_~ Sam's p.o.v~ _

Another boring night in "Tarantula", the same crowd, the same music, and the same assholes I fucked three months ago.

I was sitting in the bar quietly drinking my vodka on the rocks, my eyes scanning the crowd for an unfamiliar face.

"God, just one guy I haven't had yet!"

 And then it happened, I was approached by a very good looking guy, who I recognized as Cameron, I had him 2 months ago, he was very good, maybe I should give him another try, it doesn't seem like there are any other options.

He walked over to me, and we started talking, he had this crazy idea about wanting me to have sex with this new guy he had just began seeing who was somewhat new to the world of gay sex, I was intrigued I must say.

So he showed me the guy, he was gorgeous, no other way to describe him, I couldn't see the color of his eyes from that distance, but what I could see, was long black hair, almost blue, he was shorter then me and Cameron and he did look quite young maybe 17, or 18 the most, but he had a beautiful face, full red lips, and high cheek bones, his skin golden, and shining as the lights from the dance floor washed over his slender yet toned in frame, he turned around, his beautiful body swaying to the rhythm, I could see his muscled back, and broad shoulders as well as the beautiful tight ass, where I hoped to spend myself tonight over and over again.

My eyes traveled over his lean frame again, taking in the long jeans cladded legs, Cameron whispered in my ear, about how soft and silky his skin was, how he moans so beautifully, his body easily aroused, how eager he is to satisfy, the best lay he ever had, and he wanted me to join them, more then that he wanted to take pictures of me and him, wanted to take pictures of me taking him.

How arousing the thought of taking this beauty, I agreed immediately, and approached him as planned, his back was to us, so I wrapped my arms around his waist, and turned him towards me, he complied, and raised his head to mine, a smile on his beautiful face, his eyes I could see were purple, the look of pleasure on his face turned to surprise and then dismay, he tried to pull away from my arms, but I pulled him closer to me, and pressed my lips to his, trying to push my tongue inside his sweet mouth, those lips were silky and sweet, I wanted to devour him.

Cameron came up behind him, making the introductions while caressing his body, and whispering softly, he relaxed visibly in my arms and slowly succumbed to my questing tongue, I started devouring his mouth, my tongue exploring, tasting him, I couldn't get enough of him, Cam was sucking on his neck and rubbing his erection against the small of his back.

Cam began ushering us out towards his car; I couldn't get inside his car fast enough.

Sirius sat in the back with me, we began kissing, he was much more cooperative then before, his tongue was now down my throat, across my teeth, dueling with mine, before sucking my tongue, till I thought I would burst, and then he would retreat and nibble on my lips, with his teeth and lips, he was driving me slowly insane with lust.

I began rubbing him through his jeans; he moaned softly, the sound so exquisite I had to hear it again and again, till I thought I could cum just from hearing him moan.

I could feel Cameron's eyes on me, raking over our forms, huddled together, our mouths locked together, hands trailing almost franticly across our bodies, my hand rubbing and caressing Sirius' manhood through his jeans.

The drive must have taken 10 minutes, it felt like forever, I wanted to get there already and rip his clothes off of him; I wanted to lick, suck and bite every inch of him.

We walked inside, my arms still wrapped around Sirius' body; Cameron unlocked the door and bid us in.

His place was just as I remembered; we walked straight up the stairs towards his bedroom wanting to begin our festivities immediately.

We walked through the door, and Cameron walked straight to his closet taking out his camera and began setting it up.

"You go ahead and take your clothes off"

Sirius and I looked at each other, I was a mere three steps away from him, I closed the gap between us, my hands caressed his shirt covered chest, and trailed towards his belly to grab the hem of his shirt, I pulled it up and off of him, Sirius lifted his arms upwards to assist me, I heard a flash to my left, and we both looked up, Cameron had already taken his place behind the camera, he was naked and aroused, watching us undressing, his eyes mainly on Sirius.

I turned back towards Sirius, my hands now on the first button on his jeans, I unbuttoned it, and then unzipped the zipper, dropping to my knees to help him remove his tight blue jeans, remembering belatedly, he still had his boots on, I looked up at him and smiled at my foolishness and eagerness, he returned my smile somewhat meekly, I helped him remove his boots and socks, followed by his jeans, another flash went off.

I looked up at him from my position on the floor, my eyes asking permission to remove his last article of clothing, his underpants. 

He looked up at Cameron, asking for reassurance, upon receiving it, he nodded somewhat shakily at me, I slipped his underpants down gently, not touching his skin at all, my breath gently caressing his now exposed shaft, already semi hard.

He lifted his feet and the black underpants went to join the rest of his clothing on the floor.

I stayed on the floor, my eyes taking in the beautiful, nearly hairless skin, the lean chest, the pink almost red nipples begging to be licked, and nibbled on, the flat stomach, his belly button, and then down towards his well proportioned cock, already semi hard, surrounded by its silky black curls, beneath it, his balls, their skin looking even more soft, I wanted to feel how soft they really were, my eyes traveled over his long beautifully muscled legs, his body was perfect, curvaceous, and silky smooth, I had never seen a boy this beautiful, he looked like he belonged on the cover of fashion magazines, and tonight I was going to have him.

I wasted no more time, and stood up, my hands on his chest caressing him, before pinching and rolling his nipples with my fingers, my mouth on top of his, tongue slipping inside of his mouth, scraping across his white teeth, sucking on his tongue, until he moaned wantonly, his hands went to the hem of my shirt, lifting it up, I had to break the kiss so he could lift it over my head, as soon as the shirt passed my head, my lips were again on his, his hands caressed my exposed flesh, sending shivers down my back.

I broke our kiss when there was no more air left in my lungs, we both panted, Sirius' eyes glassy with lust, he started kissing my exposed neck, pressing kisses with his lips, followed by a flick of a tongue, and then a faint trace of his teeth pressing on my skin, never breaking the surface, he began sucking on my skin, only satisfied when my skin was properly marked.

He continued kissing across my chest, kiss, nibble, bite and suck, slowly until he reached my stomach who received the same treatment, he then rose back up, his mouth attaching itself to my right nipple, his hands on my jeans, unbuttoning them, and slipping his hand inside my underwear to caress and fondle my hardness.

He circled my nipple with his tongue, then bit it softly, before soothing the ache with swipes of his agile tongue, giving my left nipple the same treatment.

He slid further down, his hand leaving my crutch; I moaned in protest his hands now removing my shoes, socks and jeans.

He looked up at me smiling devilishly, while his busy fingers laced themselves under the elastic band of my underwear and slowly pulled it down my thighs.

"Beautiful" he whispered, his hands now caressing my manhood and balls almost worshiping them.

My cock twitched at his words, his voice like a silk scarf tied tight around my balls, arousing me to a pitch yet not allowing me to cum.

He began stroking my hardness with his hand, the skin rough which only added to the already unbearable friction, his other hand, trailing over my thighs, caressing the globs of my ass.

His hand moving up and down, stroking me from head to base, his fingers gathering the moisture at my slit, and rubbing it all over my shaft, he started stroking me faster, I groaned in pleasure.

Cameron who had been silent thus far, taking photographs of us, had said to him.

"Use your sweet mouth on him Sirius; I want to see your lips wrapped around him." 

Sirius lowered his mouth to my hardness, his eyes boring into mine, as his tongue began licking teasingly across my shaft, caressing the long column of flesh, tracing over the vein beneath the head purring with pleasure. 

I could take no more, I grabbed his head and pressed him closer to my hardness, I wanted to feel the warmth of his mouth on me.

He opened his mouth and started taking me in inch by aching inch, painstakingly slow, and continued lapping me up.

I pulled him off gently; he mewled in protest, licking his lips as though he had just drank one of the finest wines, his lips red and swollen, if it was possible he looked even more beautiful.

I pulled him towards the bed, looking over at Cameron, who threw me a tube of lube and a condom, he was now moving the camera even closer taking pictures of us, lying together on the bed, with him on top of me, our mouths pressed together in a heated kiss, our tongues sliding against each other, I could smell my scent on him, taste myself on his tongue, it was an intoxicating feeling.

I sat up, pushing him backwards on the bed, lifting his legs up, to rest on my shoulders; I uncapped the lube, and poured some on my fingers, coating them well.

I circled around his opening at first, before pushing a finger inside, it slid easily, I began twisting it inside of him, stretching him. 

Another finger joined the first; I began scissoring them inside of him, pushing them further inside, touching that secret spot inside of him, Cameron taking pictures over my shoulder, watching as Sirius arched beautifully of the bed.

I slid a third finger in, Sirius was panting, his head thrashing from side to side, moaning.

Finally he could take no more.

"Fuck me already Sam, I can't take any more" Sirius begged prettily.

I slipped my fingers out, Sirius moaned in disappointment, I put on the condom, coating my erection with lube, and pulled Sirius up, so that his body was straddling mine, he wrapped his arms around my neck for balance as I sat on the bed, Sirius astride. 

I placed my cock at his entrance, and slowly lowered Sirius onto me.

I entered him gently, hearing Sirius hissing softly in my ear, I pushed further inside until I was completely sheathed inside of his tight warmth, I let him adjust to my size, as I knew that I was bigger then Cameron, and he was new to gay sex.

Seconds later, Sirius began moving on my hips, lifting up, my cock sliding completely out, before sitting back on top of  my hips, my cock pushing inside of him again.

I started stroking his cock with my hand, fondling his balls, Sirius moaned, his hips rising and lowering faster on my cock. Not nearly fast enough.

I lowered him back against the bed; he wrapped his legs around my back, just above my ass.

I started rocking my hips against his, pounding my cock inside of him, Sirius threw back his head and moaned, his head falling across the bed, from the power of my thrusts inside of him.

Cameron had taken his place, near Sirius' head, caressing the soft black locks, before he leaned over, pressing his hard cock inside Sirius' mouth. 

I couldn't take my eyes off of them, they were beautiful.

Sirius' hot mouth engulfed Cameron, letting him fuck his mouth, while I pounded inside of him.

Cameron met my eyes over Sirius' body; we both knew we had to cum, now.

I began stroking Sirius' erection in time with my furious thrusts inside of him, he moaned round Cameron, and came hard all over his chest and my hand, his walls tightening and convulsing around me almost painfully, I came so hard, my vision blackened for a few seconds.

I was swiftly followed by Cameron, his knees nearly buckled from the force of his orgasm.

For the next few minutes there were no other sounds in the room but the sound of our pants and soft moans.

I slipped out of Sirius, kissing his forehead gently.

We spent the rest of the night fucking, I fucked Cameron, while he sucked Sirius off, and I let Sirius fuck me while Cameron fucked him.

Finally by 4am we were too tired and satiated to go on, and we fell asleep.

It was an unforgettable night.

I wouldn't mind seeing them again.

_~Sirius p.o.v~_

things have gotten worse between me and Cameron, we had developed a new routine, we would go out to clubs as always, only this time instead of going home just the two of us, we had started to bring other men with us, most of the time, just one guy, but last night, Cameron has decided to bring two guys.

He has also developed an obsession with photographing me with these guys, he had shot at least 5 rolls of film, he gave me copies of these, which I hide in my Hogwarts trunk, knowing that no one dares to touch my trunk.

I tried telling him I don't want to do this anymore, but all he says is that I'm not his boyfriend, and if I don't like it then I don't have to be with him.

I don't know what to do anymore, I don't want to end this, I can't end this.

I think I might love him, maybe I stupidly fallen in love with him.

Oh my god, how did I get myself into this?

_~__Venetia__'s p.o.v~_

Something is wrong with Sirius, had been for several days now, I fear it has something to do with this Cameron guy.

Now don't get me wrong, I usually give Sirius all the freedom he needs, which is why he is allowed to go sleep over at this Cameron guy, but I suspect he is sleeping with him, which I hope he isn't, since Sirius is only 14 years old, even I waited till I was 16 to start having sex.

Besides, I know I haven't been the best role model for him, I don't even know his father's name, though I suspect he was a wizard, and I know how hard it is for Sirius to see his friends homes, so much different from ours.

But Sirius, he just never complains, and I'm afraid that Cameron might have taken advantage of his open minded background and his loyalty for his own purposes, and that I won't have it.

I have decided to search for his address in Sirius' room, and go and have a chat with this man.

I climbed up the stairs, reaching the 4th floor, and going to the second room on the floor, Sirius'room.

It feels so wrong to go through his stuff, it was always very important to me that we had trust between us, and here I am breaking his trust in me.

I unlocked his Hogwarts trunk, where I knew he was keeping all his personal stuff, since no one is allowed to open it.

I found several envelopes filled with pictures.

"Oh my god!" I screamed.

My baby, that's my Sirius, with this man, and others, why would he do this??

He knows better. This Cameron should know better.

I closed my eyes; I couldn't look at this, when Sirius gets back from York we will have to talk about this, how I dread this conversation.

I put the envelopes in their place and looked around for Cameron's address, found it!

It was time to pay Cameron a little visit.

I took the commune's new car, an old station wagon, which we haven't dyed yet. 

I arrived to his apartment and knocked on the door.

The door opened and before me stood a tall man with brown hair and eyes, he is very handsome, I can see what Sirius found in him.

He looked at me expectantly.

"Hello, you don't know me but I know you, my name is Venetia, I'm Sirius' mother"

_~ Cameron's p.o.v~ _

I had been sitting quietly at home, no night club tonight.

Why?

Because Sirius was in York with a guy named Odin, and would return in three more days.

I was drinking my regular glass of absolute, and contemplating my relationship with Sirius.

Why is he so different from the others? Was it his innocence? I don't think so. Maybe his beauty? That could be.

Whatever it is, I'm addicted to him, I'm not saying I'm in love with him or anything, just very attracted, but I fear Sirius thinks that there is more to us then sex, and when he returns we'll have to remedy that misconception.

I got up to refill my glass, when I heard a knock on my door. 

Who could that be?

I got up and opened the door before me stood a woman in her mid 20's, I think, she was quite tall, with light brown hair and eyes, she seemed very fragile, she looked me over silently for several minutes, I was already losing my patience, she must have noticed because she spoke. 

"Hello, you don't know me but I know you, my name is Venetia, I'm Sirius' mother"

Sirius' mother? Oh no! Another one of these parents interfering with their kids lives.

"Look whatever it is, talk to your son about it, he is old enough to do whatever he wants" I said, trying to close the door in her face.

Venetia stuck her foot in the door, and barged in, her eyes accusing me, she no longer seemed frail, she now looked menacing.

"Old enough? Did Sirius tell you how old he is?"

"He told me he was 18" I replied tiredly, bored with this conversation, I thought Sirius' mother was from a commune, shouldn't she be more open minded? Guess not!

"18? Sirius is 14 years old! I can show you his birth certificate if you want."

I was shocked. 14? Oh my god! This keeps getting worse.

"I know you are sleeping with my son, and making him sleep with others, I've seen your little works of art. now, I wont press charges if you promise to break it off with him, I don't care how, just make sure he knows it's final, and try not to hurt him too much." She was enraged but I guess the look of devastation on my face, calmed her like a glass of cold water.

"Look, if Sirius was older, I wouldn't mind, but you are too old for him, and he is only 14, I have to do what is best for him."

I nodded silently and after promising to comply with her wishes I ushered her to the door.

After she had left I could think of nothing else but that Sirius had lied to me, could have gotten me in trouble, could have sent me to jail.

Thank god he had such a wonderful understanding mother

When Sirius comes back from York, he and I are going to have a little chat, that's for sure.

Well that's it people, very long I know, but I couldn't stop writing.

This is an edited version; the NC-17 is not very different just a tad bit more descriptive- though in this chapter, I had censored quite a few parts. 

If you want to read the NC-17, please tell me so in the review, I'm not good at guessing.

I hope to finish chapter 5 by the end of the week, you can expect the following in the chapter: the breakup with Cameron, the talk with mom, meeting the marauders in Diagon Ally, heartbroken Sirius, sex, and finally Remus' p.o.v, as well as who finds Sirius' photos?

For all that and more tune in next time to: Of Beauty

chocolate on a hot day- lol. Thank you, hope you are feeling alright now.

Anon- it was edited, I hate having to edit my work, since it flows so naturally, and besides why temper with something that isn't broken.

Jeswin-hope you brain is in tact by now, I'm pleased to know you liked it, I was nervous about posting it; it was my first sex scene.

As for portraying Sirius' first time, thank you, I just hate that in most fics they make so painless, they seem to forget everything in life is laced with some pain.

Alle – I know what you mean, I thought of Sirius as being the first as well, it just matches his personality, you know, he is reckless and he never thinks about the consequences, like him telling snape how to get inside the womping willow in book 3.

Thank you for liking this story, I hope you will also like this chapter.

Please R&R, I will appreciate it very much.

I want to know what you think of this fic, this chapter, whatever you think let me know, this is my first fic, so I hope that with your help I will be able to improve it.   


	5. Sex, Lies And Dirty Photos

** Of beauty – by FunkyCharms21**

Disclaimer: I own nothing it all belongs to the wonderful J.K Rowling!

Summery: the life of Sirius black- from 4th year in Hogwarts, this is a **slash** story with multiple partners (my characters) and eventual Remus/ Sirius. Told from many different points of views.

Warning: very graphical sex scene and underage sex, if you are too young or sickened by the thought of two men together in sexual situations, leave now!

Rating: NC-17 (very graphic/under age sex) - this chapter is more 

            R then NC-17.

Sorry it took so long to post, things have been crazy lately.

I hope chapter 6 won't take this long!

I also wish to take this opportunity to thank my wonderful beta bex, for her amazing patience and helpful advice that made it possible for me to continue this story. She betaed chapters 1 and 2. Unfortunately she will not be able to beta any other chapters for me, and I am now in search of a new beta, anyone who is interested, please let me know in the review box. 

**Chapter 5 - Sex, Lies And Dirty Photos**

_ ~ Sirius' p.o.v~_

Am I heart broken? Or just disillusioned? I know not.

In the week I had been away in York with Odin, I had spent most of my time thinking about me and Cameron, our strange relationship.

Had you come to me last week I would have said that I'm in love, completely, but, had you asked me this question again today, I'd have to say I don't know. I guess I never really thought about it, I just assumed that my sleeping with him meant more then just sex.

It all began upon my return, I went to see him, I had an uneasy feeling at the pit of my stomach, as though a heavy weight had settled deep within.

I could not sleep at all that night, my mind plagued with nightmares, as it was often the case, though my nightmares had never appeared on my nights away from Hogwarts.

If you asked me now, what had terrified me so, I could not answer you, for my mind had gone blissfully blank, as it often did upon my awakening.

Here I was in front of that door again, shards of excitement still linger in my heart, even though I know I am not in love, or am I? I cannot say.

I knock.

The sound so thunderous in the silence around me; I feel my heart long for something I fail to name. I wish to feast my eyes upon that mahogany railing again, my hands gently caressing it, all the way to Cameron's bedroom, to where that magnificent king sized bed awaits me.

What had I come here for?  The same question I had asked myself over a month ago.

The door opens, Cameron is there. Now every stupid word of denial rings untrue in my mind. I must be in love. Why? Because he is as beautiful in my eyes as he seemed only 8 days ago, before I had gone to York.

I glance into his brown eyes, something is different, he no longer smiles at me, his eyes seem almost dull in color, his skin a shade lighter then I remember.

Before my eyes his stare becomes penetrating, angry, almost accusing? Can it be? I must be imagining. 

"Hello Sirius, I'm afraid you've come in a bad time" he spoke, his voice no longer warm, or arousing, merely mocking.

There was an unmistakable threatening quality in his words, his body language, he knew. How? I cannot say.

I walked in, he stepped back, the door slammed behind me of its own accord, leaving me locked in with Cameron, an angry Cameron.

"How was York? Did you enjoy it? I bet they had a lot to offer a 14 year old, don't you agree?" he glanced up at me then, a bitter smile on his full lips, stretching them, almost painfully making his smile seem almost twisted, the plastic smile of a doll, his gaze hardening when his eyes finally meet my own shocked face. He knows.

I couldn't speak, not a word, my mouth fell open, but I couldn't utter a sound to save my life, all I could do was gap at him.

"I see you won't even deny it, that's good, it will save me the trouble of arguing with you. I don't care, why you did what you did, I just want you to know that it's over. It was never meant to be more then a one nighter."

I tried to speak, to tell him, it's not true, we do have something good between us, nobody would know, we could go on as we have before, I , I don't want this to end, it can't end. My mind was shouting miserably in my head, my eyes welling up with salty tears, but I won't cry, not here, not in front of Cameron.

"What I'm trying to say Sirius is that, it was good, it was meaningless and it's over. I'm sure you can now pass your considerable "knowledge" on to others, my patience and interest in you has faded. Don't feel bad, you served your purpose, we had a good time, but that's all it was, I wanted you, I took you, and that was it. Now I'm afraid I have some company, so would you mind seeing yourself out?"  

I looked at Cameron again, only now realizing that he wore nothing but a pair of white underpants that hugged his frame almost wantonly.

And then I heard a voice, a man's voice.

"Cameron, are you coming back up, love?" purred that voice, a very potent trace of lust, intertwined with the some-what innocent words. This voice did not belong to a mere friend, this was a lover's tone, I could recognize that same warmth my own voice had expressed a mere 8 days ago.

I couldn't stay, I didn't want to see him, if I didn't see him, then it's not real, it hadn't happen or so I attempted to convince myself, but the truth is never as elusive as we hope.

My heart was breaking, was it?  I don't know all I felt was pain; I could not even define its location. I had to get out of here, but I couldn't move, couldn't speak, was it all meaningless? No! It couldn't be, we bonded, there was more to it then sex, we were more to each other then sex.

So I left, the door shut behind me with a soft click, I walked down the corridor aimlessly  searching for reasons not to leave, to stay, before something had caught my attention on the wall two feet's away from the door leading outside there was a mirror it was dusty and broken, but I could still glimpse at my reflection, how appropriate that I should look upon this mirror and see not but my own contorted image, my heart lying bare for all to see, the tears still forced back under my lids, not a drop spilled, not a drop will I spill.

I lifted my hand, softly caressing my cheek, the skin so soft and smooth to the rough pads of my finger tips, it wasn't real.

My hand caressed my red lips, fingers gently tracing their poutingly full shape, the surface like silk, not real.

My hand caressed my nose, from it's junction with my forehead over the bridge towards my nostrils, my skin felt cold, chilly, it wasn't real.

Finally I looked up and met my eyes again, for a brief second, it was real, what I saw there I cannot say, it was not beautiful, nor was it ugly, or perhaps it was both, but it was real.

My hand clenched into a fist and without thought I rammed my fist through that broken mirror, the cracked shards that still remain glued to the mirror, broke under the force of my fist, their sharp ends cutting through the callous skin of my fingers, the rest fell to the floor, making a tinkling sound, like the sound of wind chimes brushed by a chilly draft.

I felt the pain then, I raised my hand to check the damage, I could see naught but blood, its color so crimson, its texture so thick, the pain was real, the blood was real, and what happened in Cameron's apartment was also real.

And I left.

_~ James' p.o.v ~_

The nightmare is finally over! Thank god! No more preppy cocktail parties, where I had to be well-dressed well-mannered and courteous.

What I'm trying to say is that I'm finally home, meaning I'm back to cause trouble in Scranton, the small muggle village where I live.

It was 9am and I was up eating my breakfast to the awful sounds of my parents being all "lovey dovey" with each other, I guess them going on a second honeymoon and leaving me stranded at my aunt and uncle has done wonders for their marriage.

"Mom, dad will you quit it already, I'm going to Diagon Ally to get my things today, I need you to give me some wizard money, if you can ever get your tongues out of each others mouths that is."

"James Montgomery Potter, how dare you say such things to your father, really I ought to just…." I flinched at the use of my full name. 

My mother began her long tirade, I looked at my father, he was smiling at me looking amused, he waggled his eyebrows at me, forcing my some what contained smile to burst forth.

"Philip I can see you back there, will you take anything seriously? Honestly if you started reprimanding James, once in a while, we might not be getting so many owls from Hogwarts about his foolish behavior and atrocious pranks, I have a case full of these letters, and he still has at least 3 more years, I don't know what we will do…"  
I looked up to my father's eyes, it always amazed me how he could be so amused over everything, even my mother's long diatribe, which as you can see he always manages to draw away from me.

My father, Philip Harold Potter the 3rd (a family tradition my father decided will end upon my birth), is the most wonderful father in the world, and that's not an exaggeration. He taught me all about pranks and every free day he had was spent trailing through Scranton's forests, playing games and riding our brooms, high enough to see the top of the tall trees, but low enough to not be detected by a muggle's eye.

 My father's infectious smile and warm personality had won over my serious and studious mother when they were only 16 years old attending their 6th year in Hogwarts, they were both proud Gryffindors.

My father looked into my mother's beautiful sapphire eyes, smiling at her softly, disarmingly, as expected my mother's strict voice mellowed, her scowl became a smile, first just a tilt of her lips, then a smile, then finally her even white teeth sparkled in the morning sun.

The enemy was neutralized.

9:30 am, I flewed into the "Leaky Cauldron", I took a sit near the door waiting for my three friends to appear, I missed them all so much, especially since it was the first summer, I had spent without them sleeping over at my place, well all but Remus, his parents wouldn't let him, he was also out of the country every summer, his parents were dragging him across the continent and beyond in search of a cure.

Why you ask? Because Remus is a werewolf, has been since he was 5 years old.

Remus' secret was revealed to me and Sirius during our first year, we noticed he kept disappearing every month, and always returning looking pale and sick, he always had an excuse, but after a while of listening to these excuses even the truth could no longer ring true in our ears. 

As for Peter, well Peter was just… Peter, oblivious and a bit strange, his shyness making it impossible for him to befriend others, which is why I believe he clung to me and Sirius, and of course to Remmy, well, as I was saying, Sirius and I were more perceptive then Peter, we started marking the nights he disappeared, following him, as well as reading up in the library about all sorts of phenomenon and we found nothing until…

 It was a week before the end of the year, we were all going home, we talked about our plans for the vacation, pranks and family reunions (how awful!), on the way to our Defense Against The Dark Arts, in shorts DADA class, we sat down in our regular seat, at the back of the class, Sirius next to me, in front of us Peter and Remus. The class began as always, we opened our books and listened to the endless rambling of the Professor, until, Bernard McDougal an annoyingly smug Ravenclaw first year, raised his hand, and began lecturing the entire class as well as Professor Pamperbean, our somewhat inept and dazed DADA teacher, on the more in-depth description of the moon's effect on Dark Creatures, smug little bastard.

And that was when it hit me, a WEREWOLF, how could I miss this? I looked at Sirius; he wore the same enlightened expression, we both agreed wordlessly to discuss this further after class, only 20 more minutes to go.

We spent the last few days till the end of the school year researching in the library, telling Remus and Peter we were working on a prank for the last day of the year (they both never took part of the actual research, Remus would help ground our ideas and think of ways to either improve our plan or how to execute the plan, Peter just did as he was told, no matter how hard I tried to draw him in, to make him feel more a part of us).

The night before we were all leaving for the holiday, we confronted Remus; Peter standing bewildered by my side, me and Sirius had both agreed to support Remmy, why? Because how could we not? I had known Remus nearly 9 months by then, and I could not imagine not being friends with him. He always possessed this air of mystery and a touch of fear in him; this was the cause of his fear, this secret. There will be no more secrets between us.

Remus cried his body curled so tightly, raking with uncontrolled trembles and fears, I could not watch his pain; I suspected that he was crying more for his past pain filled days, and for what he feared he was losing yet again then for his own cursed existence, as he would call it. 

I looked at Sirius who stood by my side and we both nodded wordlessly at each other and hugged Remmy.

"We are marauders, Rem, and we stick together!" I told him, my voice somewhat shaky, I was afraid he would reject us, how foolish of me.

No more words were ever said that night.

Ever have the feeling that time passes so slowly that when you look back on it, it had passed way too quickly? I do, I can't believe I'm starting my fifth year at Hogwarts. Most importantly, I can't believe that after 3 years of meeting in Diagon ally my friends are still late.

I sipped my chilled pumpkin juice, when the door to the "Leaky Cauldron" burst open, and I heard the sound of 3 pairs of feet rushing inside. I turned my head expectantly to meet my friends' apologetic gaze, nodded wordlessly and all was forgiven.

 How wonderful they all looked to my eyes. We stared at each other for a mere few seconds wordlessly, all sounds were muted in my ears, all but this feeling of completeness that washed over me, my skin prickling from awareness, it seemed as though we were bonded in some strange way. 

We rushed towards each other, hugging tightly, my left hand in Siri's beautiful black blue cascade of luscious curls, my right hand on Remy's left shoulder, and Pete was between us all, his arms wrapped tightly around my waist. We broke apart quickly, gazing around sheepishly, making sure our little indiscretion went unnoticed by the "Leaky Cauldron's" occupants, then we patted each others back in a more "Manly" fashion.

The day passed way too quickly for me, I didn't want it to end, this was faith, the four of us were meant to find each other and become the marauders, and I believe in that wholeheartedly.

The most expected yet surprising thing had become apparent to me as soon as I set my eyes on Sirius, my beautiful faithful friend, Sirius.

He had grown even more beautiful, as was expected, but the surprising thing was this sudden awareness he had developed for himself, he knew he was beautiful, sexy, desirable, he was showing it now, like a beacon in the night, drawing helpless victims to his exquisite light. How morbid of me.

I knew then that what he wrote and told me about Cameron, his new love interest had been true, he wasn't joking, he had slept with that guy, suddenly I felt incredibly jealous, which I knew I shouldn't, but the thought that this man knew a part of Sirius that I may never know was disturbing me greatly.

Sirius had grown taller, his shoulders had widened and his chest had become firm, all signs of being an awkward teen not apparent, how I envied him, my frame boney and awkward compared to his impressive built.

My breath was caught in my chest when I looked up into his deep purple eyes, a shadow of fleeting anguish passed in their beautiful depths, nearly unnoticed by others, but to me it was very obvious, Sirius was hurt, and I had a feeling it had something to do with Cameron. I resolved myself to confront him about it later, when we were alone again, he met my gaze with a thankful expression, he wanted to talk, just the two of us, as we always did.

_~Peter's p.o.v~_

_The sun had not yet risen from its velvety folds of the early morning hours, I looked through my bedroom window at the enfolding scenery, its grandness, its simplicity, nothing ever seems more simple or perfect then watching the sun rise carefully as if from thin air, in mere minutes. No expectations or limitations just complete freedom._

The day began as it always did on September 1st, in a mad dash to the shower, breakfast, last minute packing while the melodic yet slightly aggravating tone of my mother's voice raised in reprimand at my usual lateness.

"Leave the boy alone" my father would say as he always did a smile with its usual bit of sadness at my departure still apparent on his face. I'm an only child so my leaving for Hogwarts for a whole year is always hard for them. 

In mere minutes we are in front of the family's fireplace, my father takes out the flew powder and tosses it into the glowering flames, licking menacingly at the sleeve of his muggle worn out t-shirt.

We arrive quickly to our destination "The Leaky Cauldron". We rush swiftly to king's cross, just in time for me to say my good-byes. To kiss my mothers cheek promising to write, her tears spilling over healthy red cheeks, flushed from the cold wind that touched our skin on the way to the station.

Then I hugged my father lovingly, his arms tightening for a mere second, as if he had given in to the urge to force me to stay, but then the grip is broken.

I board the train, my gaze locked on the image of my parents, how captivating they seem right at this moment.

My mother with her long blonde hair, tied severely and elegantly, her noble posture somewhat slumped, her blue eyes filled with tears, make her seem a strange contradiction to my childhood memories of sun filled days, warm smiles and delicious smells of my mother's home cooked meals.

Beside my mother stood my proud and delightful father, his hair thinning increasingly as the years pass, his deep brown eyes, laughing pools of warm chocolate, his grasp warm and comforting, hard to believe he is an Auror, but he is. He has caught many wizards alleged to practice the dark arts.

Their image slowly disappears from my eyes, as the train leaves the station; I finally look away and go in search of my friends.

"You are so wrong Remmy, he would never do that!" I hear Sirius' sensual voice, float towards me from the closed door of our cabin.

I open the cabin door slowly. There they are before my eyes, my 3 faithful friends. How I envy them their closeness, I know that they all keep in touch with each other, especially James and Sirius. Sometimes it seems as though they can actually read each others minds, I want that, this incredible feeling of completeness they share so deeply, with all of us, but mostly with each other. 

I'm pounced on the minute I walk in, by our beloved James, enthusiastic, loving and heroic James, how I adore him. How I adore them all, Sirius with his clever mind and street wise intelligence, his beauty and charm that got us out of trouble more times then I can count, with his arrogance and combined enthralled innocence. He bewitches all who look upon him, but he is too gentle and unsure sometimes that he doesn't even know how powerful his presence is, how inspiring.

James and Sirius are so brilliant, I admit sadly to myself every night that I will never compare, yet I'm grateful they still try, they still care, how can I help but worship them?

Remus, wonderfully deep Remus with his studious and somewhat stoic nature, a boy with the heart of a wolf, I cant help but be amazed at his grasp of logic, that has surely abandoned us all, but him.

Remus, whose beautiful hazel eyes, with their somber expression, hold a tight leash over his barely, controlled emotions, how brave you seem to me my dear friend.

The ride passed too quickly when we all sat together. Sirius and James attached at the hip as usual (though with a new closeness I had not sensed in them before) completing each other's sentences. Remus laughing in his unique carefree way, his eyes a shade lighter, nearly yellow, as though the wolf himself had enjoyed our foolish summer tales.

The train comes to a stop at Hogsmead station. Another school year has begun.

_~Remus' p.o.v~_

I'm going insane, why you ask? Because of him, of whom you ask?

Sirius. Damn, horrible, arrogant, rotten, beautiful Sirius.

I had fallen. I had fallen for Sirius over 7 months, 4 days and 12 hours ago.

It was the day after the full moon; I was in the hospital wing recovering, when Sirius walked in, surprisingly without James in-tow, he strode towards my bed with his sensuous stride, hips swaying in an unconscious manner, his long legs moving effortlessly yet powerfully.

 He reached my bed and then he smiled at me, his smile child-like and innocent, while he produced from behind his back a plate with sausages, pancakes and eggs and presented them to me, his eyes had never sparkled so brightly, and he chewed on his full lower lip, as he usually did when he was thinking or nervous. I had never felt such a stirring in my blood as I did right then, the need to lean towards him and suck that abused lower lip into my mouth and caress it with my tongue, lavish it, nibble on it almost too powerful to resist. A thought had suddenly accrued to me how would it feel to kiss Sirius? To caress his smooth skin?  To press heated kisses to the soft skin of his elegant neck? What am I thinking about? My god! My face became flushed and I thanked him hurriedly, before I lowered my head to my plate and dug in, in hopes of hiding my flushed face from his view. Sirius was none the wiser to my strange behavior. 

So why did I fall, you might ask? It's not as though he had never brought me food when I was in the hospital wing; it was more the way he seemed to me at that precise moment. Ever had that moment, one second of clarity? Well I had that one moment and what it revealed to me at that second was how I love Sirius, in a completely non-platonic way.

What a depressing thought.

"You can't just expect him to love you because you had sex, Sirius" declared James exasperatedly. He and Sirius had gone off to talk alone as they always had; only my hearing had become sharper in these last two days till the full moon. I tried not to listen to them, but I could not control myself.

I knew Sirius had slept with a man, he wrote me about it, I remember the pain I had felt that day, the gut wrenching pain, that tightened all the muscles in my stomach, as though it could squeeze the life out of me slowly and steadily, with no respite, the letter fluttering to the floor from my open palm.

So naturally hearing that Sirius might be in love with this man hurt twice as much as the first time.

"I don't know what I feel anymore James! I'd like to tell you I should have listened to you about "him" but that would be lying, and we don't lie to each other, do we?" 

James must have nodded, since I could hear Sirius' sure voice continue.

"I don't regret what I did with "him", I regret lying to "him" or maybe I don't, hell, I don't know! Jamie, tell me what should I do?"  

he sounded so heartbroken and sad right then, _I wanted to put my arms around him, run my fingers through his luscious curls soothingly rubbing his back, feel his arms wrap around me as he takes comfort from my warmth, and then he will raise his proud head and press those cherry red lips to mine_…NO.. I will not think about this right now! 

Things have become steadily worse these passed few weeks, Sirius had started sleeping with 6th and 7th year boys, and was slowly making himself a reputation of being a very desirable lad.

 It all begun in a seemingly innocent fashion…

We were sitting down for lunch in the great hall, when a Ravenclaw 6th year by the name of Matthew Beaker approached us he was as tall as our Siri, and handsome in a 3rd year girls fancying way. He had short brown hair and brown eyes; he was quite built, from playing Quidditch for 5 years as the Ravenclaw chaser.

He greeted all of us, but his eyes were trained on Sirius. They gleamed with an emotion I recognized instantly He was lusting after Sirius, My Sirius!

I could feel the wolf inside of me stir with rage and jealousy, which only increased as I watched him flirt with Sirius, and Siri flirting back shamelessly.

My hands were shaking, my nostrils flaring, I think if you looked closer you could see the wolf come alive, wearing my skin, my expression, how grotesque. 

"Excuse me, I forgot something in my dorm" I said hastily and got up to leave the table before the wolf in me will take complete control. If Sirius ever knew how close the wolf is to the surface he would be terrified of me, and that I cannot bear to witness.

"Wait Rem, I'll come with you" said James, getting to his feet swiftly in his elegant manner, befitting his title as "The Best Chaser" Hogwarts has ever seen.

"Me too" followed equally swiftly by Pete, who could not bear separation from his idol, James.

"Meet you in Divination, ok Siri?" queried Jamie softly.

We left, walking away at regular speed, none of us talking. 

Imprinted in my mind for eternity is the image of Sirius and Matthew sitting together in our table flirting, Sirius' long, elegant fingers rubbing on Matthew's palm in a circular motion, his full lips curled in a sensual smile, a "come hither" look on his beautiful face, while Matthew gaps at him like a fish out of water.

_~James' p.o.v~_

A mistake you should never, ever make is to go looking for your missing best friend, when you can clearly hear from a fair distance that he is currently indisposed. 

That is a mistake I will never repeat, the sight that has greeted me might just cause a permanent hard-on for said nosey best friend, meaning me.

I had skipped divination, when I had noticed that Sirius had not arrived to class, so I went searching for him in our secret places, when that didn't work, I went to check the notorious snogging hide-outs, don't ask me why I went there I just had a feeling siri might do something stupid, he had been quite down lately, over that Cameron guy, who we have now decided to refer to as either "it" or "him".

I found him in the famous astronomy tower, I could hear through the door that they were definitely not talking Quidditch, nor talking at all unless moaning is considered talking, which I'm pretty sure it isn't.

I opened the door, quietly, and looked inside, the first thing I saw was siri's white top that he wore under his robe this morning. Said top was thrown on the floor, its stark whiteness in contrast with the dark stone covered floor; it seemed obscene, almost misplaced, in this chilly tower.

I looked further in, and there was siri, his long black blue hair a luxurious cascade, a curtain of desire that hides him and his lover, who I recognized as Matthew Beaker (Ravenclaw's 6th year chaser, a worthy adversary on the Quidditch field) from the outside world, in a haze of lust, and here I am bringing in the real world again.

Sirius was lying on top of Matthew, his beautiful long limbed body driving forcefully into the older chaser's pliant body, his chest tightening, pink nipples protruding from his body, his flat stomach tightened from the force of his thrusts into Matthew.

Matthew's legs wrapped around Sirius' waist, his hands clenching the robes that covered the floor they lay upon.

Sirius leaned down and pressed his red lips to Matthew's, their tongues dueling with each other, bodies pressed firmly together, as Sirius continued to drive into Ravenclaw's golden boy.

I could not look any more, I fled, in my ears rings the last moan of pleasure that spilled from Matthew's lips as he climaxed.

"Sirius"

_~ Remus' p.o.v ~_

He didn't come, he just never showed up, until noon that is, the wolf in me could smell another on his skin, someone had touched him, caressed him, kissed him.

My mind was clouded in hot red haze, which slightly resembled Sirius' red lips, the wolf in me was slowly taking over, and I was scared, how I hated this feeling, as though the wolf, was never gone, forever residing in my flesh, my blood and my mind, the infusion so complete that I knew that no cure could separate us again, I will always be Remus and werewolf, we are one and the same, my heart beats for us both, and I'm forever lost, I shall never be sweet, harmless Remus, I'll be a shame, locked up in a cage all my life, shunned from the public and any chance of happiness.

That's what he makes me feel, reckless and out of control and I'm terrified I wont have much restraint to keep my wolf at bay, but most of all the will to keep away, not interfere with his life, not harm those who look upon him, who touch him with their filthy hands, when they should worship him as I do, as the wolf does.

But what claim do I have to him? The beautiful free soul that he is my friend, my dream lover, who seduces me from afar, unbeknownst to him.

The pain grows in me, intensifies in me, into every dark corners of my divided and torn soul, he is everywhere, I'm at his feet and the worst of all is that he knows nothing of it, of my torment as he glides happily and serenely through life, his presence electrifies all who look at him, feeling shy and in awe of him, yet he sees none of it, none but his own faults, and that makes my love and pain grow, for I wish to protect him, yet I know I will never have him, cause to protect is to posses one so wholly that a circle of dependency is created, and then he will go.

I have entered my melancholy faze again, as always the case when the full moon is upon us, but tonight things will have changed for I shall not be alone.

"I think something is wrong with it! Should it be this green? Are you sure you added that white powder thingy?" stammered Peter in his usual nervous manner, though tonight he was nervous for a reason. Tonight 4 years of planning will finally come to fruition. The animagus potion is finally ready.

We stood side by side in front of the smoky cauldron. Green steam sprouting from the equally green bubbly substance, it did not seem very appetizing to me.

On my right stood James, the green steam casting a sickly almost demonic glow on his sweet features, his pale blue eyes glowed with triumph and excitement.

Sirius began filling cups with the green potion, and distributed the glasses to Peter, James and to himself.

I watched helplessly as James and Sirius looked up at me with a determined expression. I held my breath. Could I let them do this? Risk their lives just so I won't be lonely one night a month? It seems like madness.

All these years of research and planning had been an adventure that had cemented our bond, but was I ready for the next level? Was I ready for the chance that we might have failed? It does seem a bit too green, should it be this green? Dear me, I feel I'm losing my sanity, if this went wrong I don't think I could survive, for you see, it won't be the guilt that will kill me, for I have enough of it as is, it's them, my little close knitted family, my home.

They stared at each other then, Sirius smiling his confident and excited smile, there was no doubt in my mind that I will not be able to change his mind.

The glass was lifted in the air "bottoms up, lads!" he toasted and I watched nervously as satin red lips griped the glass stem, the green liquid slowly disappearing through those heavenly red portals to the heart of the boy I loved.

We watched with held breath as Sirius consumed the potion in his glass, his mouth stretched in a look of disgust. He wiped his mouth with the sleeve of his robe, eyes squinting slightly and smiled at me. 

Relief washed over my body, making me shiver slightly as though I was sprayed with cold water, beside me I could hear James sigh with relief as well, we were both aware of siri's recklessness, but we loved him so, that we could not bear to see him hurt. To see the sparkle of trust in his eyes fade.

And then something changed. A shift in the air around us.

"Oh" I glanced back at Sirius just in time to see his body first become rigid and then curl to protect his middle. 

He uttered no further sound, anguish clearly written on his face as he stumbled to the floor, his breath coming in harsh pants as though he could not breath.

James and I rushed towards him; enveloping him in our arms, James rubbing his back soothingly while I wrapped my arms around his middle, his head nestled in the crook of my neck, his warm breath caressing my exposed neck. I couldn't help but shiver, the moment nearly undone me with its erotic simplicity. 

My hands gently caressing his sweat soaked curls, his breath still harsh in my ears.

James had now risen from his seat on the floor and began pacing franticly, his eyes never leaving Sirius' slumped and shivering figure.

Pale blue eyes met mine over Sirius' head pleading with me. For what? I cannot say.

"We should take him to the infirmary, right James?"  Said Peter, seeking James approval as he always did.

"Are you mad? What will we say? That we made an animagus potion that went bad? We'll be expelled!"

"But this is crazy! Siri could die!" James answered his own exclamation.

How I wanted to shake him! To throttle him for even stopping to think, our fearless leader. 

"Let's take him to the infirmary now" said James decidedly.

And then it happened, I was stroking Sirius' head when I felt that his hair had become longer, In fact it had spread all over his body, covering his robe. He was growing fur.

I jumped back in surprise; Sirius was now lying on the floor, his muscled arms slowly being covered by the strange black blue silky fur. His fingers drawing inside his palms, which slowly became paws.

Was he a wolf? I wondered. 

What sweet anguish it is to think how close we could be, all that we can share. That he might love me then, all of me, Remus and the wolf.

But then the transformation was over and before us stood a big black dog, who would have thought that even as a dog Sirius would be so striking.

He stood up on all four and lifted his gigantic black head, tongue lolling out of his mouth, looked at us and waged his tale experimentally.

And we laughed; it was such a release from the earlier strain and uncertainty.

I knelt down in front of Sirius, he walked to me, and I began petting his head caressing his silky tresses, scratching behind his soft ears. He mewled appreciatively. 

The wolf in me surged up, hungry and needy. I could feel my blood singing in my veins, my companion in the dark. It was done.

_~ Sirius' p.o.v ~___

I'm a dog! Unbelievable I'm a dog!

I wagged my tail again. I could feel my body tingle all over from the motion of my tail. My fur felt warm and comforting on my big body. 

But the rush of scents to my nose nearly undone me. I could not separate them. Remus was scratching my ears and all I could think was how good he smelt. I wanted to press my new snout to his robe covered body, he smelled of jasmine like the shampoo he used to wash his silky hair and a faint musky scent I quickly cataloged as his own personal odor. And the strange thing about that was that it aroused me. But then I smelled something new inside of him. Something surged up, something powerful, the wolf, it was there.

The dog in me was anxious at first; nervous, but the hand petting me remained steady and loving. 

My mind was in a whirl of sound and scents, I quickly became dizzy, the new brain of the dog was so different from mine. It knew no permanent sadness, no deep thoughts of existence, it simply lived, and it loved to live. There was no Cameron here, no one to satisfy, to be desirable for. Everything was so simple, yet exciting, I wanted to live! I wanted to play, to run till my paws ached, and my breath burst through my lungs to pound against my rib cage, the ach of it so sweet, I could weep. I wanted the wind through my fur, to feel as though I'm riding Serengela through the fields surrounding the mansion.

I quickly became one with the dog in me. I felt this strange urge to merge with it. Was this the union that the book spoke of? The merging? The book on the animagus transformations is highly unclear on such matters. Suddenly I remembered a dream I had a mere 3 months ago, at Cameron's place, about me and Remy in our animal form. Did I know then that I would be a dog? 

_~ James' p.o.v ~ _

Well he's a dog! It worked! Nobody died and it worked. Thank god, it was a close call.

Sirius was sniffing us eagerly with his big wet snout, his tail wagging continuously as though he was possessed, he looked like a regular big beautiful black dog, but his eyes were like siri's passionate purple orbs. This dog's eyes radiated with unexplainable wisdom, not common in any animal on earth. 

Siri raced across the room excitedly, making us laugh at his merry exhilaration.

"I think it is time to turn back siri" said Remus softly a sweet smile on his jovial features.

Sirius stopped in his place, turned towards us, cocking his head to the side in such an adorable canine gesture that it seemed hard to believe there was a human being underneath all of that black blue fur.

We waited. Sirius froze in place, his tail standing still and erect. And then slowly the fur retreated, followed by smooth golden skin, paws became graceful hands and feet, only to spread further to expose long muscular legs, beautifully curved thighs,  and surprisingly enough, Sirius' hips and calves and more intimate part of his anatomy. I wanted to look away, to give him some privacy, but I could not, and it wasn't as though I had never seen him naked, because I had quite often, usually while taking a shower or getting dressed. But for some reason, being completely dressed and seeing Sirius completely naked, changed things, he seemed more vulnerable, more appealing, his lips seemed redder then before, fuller and inviting, his body more toned, skin glowing, his flat muscular stomach contracted with nervousness.

Who knew that when you change back, you return with no clothes? The book about the animagus potion never said a word, but apparently you don't transform back with your clothes.

The final outcome was Sirius standing naked in the cold drafty classroom. I looked away from the beautiful sight and looked at both Peter and Remus; they were as entranced as I was. 

Peter was panting his eyes bulged nearly out of their sockets and his face was a light shade of pink. Remy on the other hand, was covering his mouth with his left hand, as though to stop any moans of excitement to burst fourth, not that I would blame him for wanting to, so did I, which is why I looked away from the beautiful sight which is my best friend completely naked, before my very own eyes.

Remus' eyes racked over siri's naked form almost fearfully, he was afraid of being caught staring, I realized, not that it could be helped really.

After several seconds of staring, Sirius finally became uncomfortable, his hands had long since took their place covering his crutch from our sight, now he was shivering from the cold, and looking at us expectantly. That look roused us enough so that we all removed our outer robes and handed them over to him. Sirius made no qualm over being given three robes instead of one, but instead he wore them all, snuggling into them in the most sinful way possible, his hair pooling down the back of my outer robe, in a luxuriant cascade of silk, his red lips gently brushing the collar of the robe, while his elegant hands curled tightly around the lapels. 

Bundled up in our robes, and extremely tired Sirius took his seat on the broken and dirty couch that was situated at the back of the deserted classroom, and waited patiently, his eyes firmly locked on mine, he was waiting for me to take the potion as well. 

I glanced down at the glass of still green steaming liquid which had somehow appeared in my hand (I suspected it was Peter's doing, the little coward!). I swallowed the lump in my throat, lifting the glass to my lips, my gaze on Remus now, his beautiful golden orbs, distraught as he looked back at me, silently pleading with me to lower my arm, to drop the glass, let it shatter to pieces, but I had to, it was what we worked for, it was everything we wanted, everything Remy needed, and I could not back away from the promise we made. Remy would never be alone. And so I drank.

_~ Remus' p.o.v ~ _

And so it was finished, Sirius was a dog, James a stag and Peter, well after much difficulties Peter was a rat. How I laughed over that, but it did make sense, for now he will be able to get under the branches of the whomping willow and touch the knot so that James and Sirius could enter the canal as well. 

We all walked towards our dorms, silently, our feet, making no sound on the stone covered floor. We walked side by side, Sirius still covered by our outer robes, the rest of us still clothed as both Peter and James had taken off their clothes before they drank the potion.

We reached the dorm with no mishap, saying the password (gargoyle) to the fat lady, and rushing up the stairs. We collapsed on our beds and looked at each other, then I closed my eyes and drifted to sleep, sensing easily that the others were right behind me as they always were.

It was passed 3am when I suddenly woke up, at first I couldn't make out the reason why I had woken up, but then I heard a quiet moan, it wasn't a moan of pleasure, I recognized the voice instantly, it was siri's, he was having another one of his nightmares. I walked silently to his bed, and kneeled down on the carpet covered floor beside his bed, my hands gently reached out to caress his hair and cheek, he turned towards my comforting touch and sighed, his breath evened again and he returned to sleep. It always amazed me how the simplest of contact could relax him so, not only when he was suffering from his infamous nightmares but also when he was distraught or even with no reason, it seemed enough for him, if you just held his hand, or brushed the soft curls of his hair away from his face, and he would smile happily at you, his eyes sparkling with complete trust.

I got up from the floor and made my way to bed, when I bumped into Sirius' trunk that he conveniently left beside his bed for me to trip over and nearly crash to the ground gracelessly, the messy bugger!

The contents of his trunk spilled to the floor, fortunately the noise didn't rouse any of them, they must be even more exhausted then I thought.

I started to quietly gather all of the spilt contents of the floor and into the trunk, when my hand gripped a piece of paper, I pulled it up, to return it to the trunk, I have no wish to go through siri's personal things, he is my friend, and I won't violate his privacy, I kept telling myself, until said piece of paper turned out to be an envelope which I had held upside down and watched helplessly as its contents spilled to the ground. I sighed and began to pick up the papers, but they were no papers, these were photos, muggle photos at that. I lifted one of the pictures to catch a stray ray of light that had stolen into our room, through the constantly lit candles in the hall to our room; I didn't need any more light then this. 

It was a picture of Sirius, a naked Sirius, smiling up at the camera a cigarette dangling from his full lips, while his hands held his upper body up on the bed.

I dropped the photo and picked up another one, Sirius kissing a man I had never met, his red lips consuming the mouth of the other man. His elegant hands caressing the guy's chest. 

Next picture, Sirius on the bed, naked, beautiful red lips stretched over the hard organ pumping into his willing mouth. 

I could barley breath, my heart was pumping furiously, I was angry, seeing siri like that, so beautiful, so desirable, a part I had never seen before, will never see. The wolf in me had reawakened, and it whispered in my ears with its quiet growls what I should take.

Another photo, Sirius with another man I didn't recognize, both laying on their sides, the man's arms wrapped around siri's waist, Sirius' mouth open as though to moan in pleasure. Their beautiful golden bodies wrapped tightly around each other.

_"Claim him" _the wolf growled.

A different setting, Sirius by a balcony in a place I had never seen apart from in these pictures. Naked, leaning on his elbows, his silky hair, glowing with a blue fire in its tousled state, red lips parted in a secret smile, purple eyes crinkling with sensual satisfaction.

_"You know you want him, don't deny! We want him"_ the wolf would not relent.

Red satin sheets, Sirius sprawled on the bed, two pairs of hands by unseen men, caress and fondle his naked beauty. 

_"We need him, he should be ours, our mate"_ I could not ignore his voice, his logic, my dream lover, my mate, my desire.

I looked at all the other pictures, Sirius, in every possible sexual position, that I had dreamed of deploying on him, right there before my eyes, being done by other men, that I didn't know, their hands all over him, as though he was theirs to touch, to caress, I hated these nameless men.

I got up, my body burning as though I was covered from head to toe in molten lava, the need in me was beyond my control, I had to go to sleep, to lose myself in dreams of things that can never be.

I put the photos in the envelope and returned it to the trunk, closing the lid shut and with it, closing my treacherous wolf from making ay more claims that neither I nor he can resist.

I climbed into my bed silently, closed my eyes, and took a deep breath. After several minutes or hours, I know not how long, I felt calm enough to mange sleep.

_It was dark, and frightening around me, the trees' limber branches swayed in the strong winter wind that blazed through the forest, lifting mounts of discarded leaves and piles of dust in her wake. Her whistle a blood freezing scream, yet I was not afraid, I felt at home, I was the king! The predator, the master of these woods, I was the wolf._

_The clouds in the sky drifted away revealing their hidden treasure, the glow of the full moon drenched my fur covered skin, setting my dark grey fur alight with its mysterious blue flame, the forest became my playground, lighted up with thousands of tiny blue flames, bathing the trees with silver tainted glow, for me. _

_"Crunch" a sound of a footprint was made on the ground. Someone had dared to trespass on my territory, to steal his way into my domain._

_"Crunch" the noise came again to my left. I turned my head towards the left, where I had heard the sound come from. Into the clearing stepped an animal, he was large and black, I growled at him, baring my teeth. Yet this creature moved towards me, not backing away, and then he was before me and I could see that he was a dog, a black grim look-alike dog, and I growled some more, crouching a bit to prepare to leap at this intruder to crush his throat with my teeth, but something stopped me, I knew this dog._

_I cautiously stepped towards it, sniffed him quickly at first, then more thoroughly_

_"Sirius" _

_The dog licked me then, his tongue caressing my cheeks, my long ear, my snout and then my mouth. _

_Everything whirled around me in a strange haze of color, I was on top of him, suddenly, still in my wolf form my body driving itself inside of him, driving towards completion, I threw my head back at the moon and the stars that danced around its magnificent glow, and I howled, I lowered my head back, my eyes meeting the eyes of Sirius, human-Sirius, his black  hair covering the forest floor, golden body bathed with the moon's ethereal glow his lips bruised and swollen from kissing, legs wrapped tightly around my body while he panted at each thrust I made, my name spilling from his red lips with each moan._

_"Remus"_

_ I couldn't contain myself anymore, I lowered my head to his slender and elegant neck, sinking my teeth into his flesh, his pulse beating like a thunderous drum on my tongue, echoing in my mouth and submerging me in him, deeper then my body  could reach, deeper then a shared smile, deeper then a kiss._

_I pumped into him, continuously, never withdrawing far from him, he laid his head back, exposing more of his neck to me, I growled in pleasure against his bruised and bitten neck, feeling him shiver in my arms._

_We climaxed together, with me still deep inside of him, my teeth imbedded in his skin, until I drew blood, the coppery taste of it enraptured me. We have found a mate. We are one. Wolf and man. Dog and wolf. Me and Sirius._

_My eyes gaze at Sirius' beautiful purple orbs now tinted with a silver streak, mine, lips parted slowly, we kiss._

I jump up in my bed, its 7:30 am and I'm going to be late. I look at the rest and see that they too had overslept, my gaze meets Sirius' from across the room, not all of them are still asleep I amend silently. I can barely tear my eyes away from his delectable neck, bare of clothes as his night shirt slips invitingly of his shoulder almost baring a dark pink nipple, I exhale slowly, and wake James and Peter, all the while feeling Sirius powerful gaze burning holes in my back, but I am too ashamed to face him after all that I had seen.

And then James is awake and the attention of us all turns to him.

He smiles at us in his sweet sleepy manner, before he sits beside siri on his bed, hands on his thighs and exclaiming.

"We did it!" 

We all laugh at his silliness, yet I can't help but feel honored, come this full moon tonight I will not be alone.

I lock my gaze with Sirius knowing stare and smile softly.__

Next chapter: the first full moon of the marauders, nicknames, a kiss between two best friends, will it become more?

Tune in for the next chapter of "of beauty".

I wish to thank all who reviewed, and especially your patience, it did take ages to finish this one; hopefully the next won't take nearly as long!

Jeswin- I agree Sirius does need to get rid of them, but as you can see, he didn't because it's part of the plot. Glad you liked his mom. Thanks for reviewing I love your reviews, they always make me laugh.

Madkornfan- thank you; hope you will enjoy this chapter as well.

Uh- I guess it is NC-17, oh well, good to know you don't mind much. Lol. It's good to know that you believe sex should be with someone you love, I hope you have had a positive experience. Hope you will enjoy this chapter. I think you might not like Cameron at all, instead of disliking him.

Jasini- wow, thanks, hope this chapter will satisfy you a bit. Please review; let me know what you think.

Hoopla- thanks, I did find out about commune thing, I'm trying to fix it, but my beta had only redone chapters 1 and 2 which if you care to read the word had been fixed, but I'm currently without a beta, so I try not to mess up too much, afraid English is not my first language.

As for the plot, I like the fact that you can see everything from different p.o.v's, and I'm not much of a p.w.p kind of girl, it's nice but I like longer fics.

Slashnburn- just updated, like? Let me know

Shadow shi13- wow, what a compliment, thank you. Hope you like this one, I'm a bit apprehensive about it. Let me know.

Luky- sorry I hadn't emailed you, but I'm not happy with the current versions, so when my new beta (which I hope to find soon) will finish all the chapters till now, I will email them to you. But I must say that the nc-17 version is not much different from the R rated one, it just has a few more descriptions. But it's your decision.

Elena Marie- thank you. As I have said to luky, it's a few more descriptions, if you are interested I'd email it to you.

Mysid- I'm sorry to hear you disapprove of my story, but as you know you are free to say whatever you want. You are also free to not read this story if it offends you, if it does, then I apologize. As for the word commune, I thank you for pointing out my mistake, I was unsure of the word myself, but as I have said English is not my first language, and I try my best.

As for the time and the plot, as well as the condoms issue. I wasn't alive in the 70's and I don't know much about it, I have read books and seen shows about the 70's, but I'm afraid my knowledge is still not impressive.

As for condom usage, I write the way I hear, and I must say I have heard of few people who do use condoms for oral sex, and just because I write it, doesn't mean I approve of it, but I defend my right to do so, as I've said before if you are in any way displeased with this story, feel free to not read it. and I have been trying to censor it some, unfortunately it's hard to do that without damaging the chapter itself, because I never publish before I'm sure it's good enough, and changing anything in it, is too painful to even consider, which is also why I'm looking for a beta now

So thank you for reviewing, you are my first critic, and for that I thank you.


	6. When The Moon Was Full

**Of beauty ****– by FunkyCharms21**

Disclaimer: I own nothing it all belongs to the wonderful J.K Rowling!

Summery: the life of Sirius black- from 4th year in Hogwarts, this is a **slash** story with multiple partners (my characters) and eventual Remus/ Sirius. Told from many different points of views.

Warning: very graphical sex scene and underage sex, if you are too young or sickened by the thought of two men together in sexual situations, leave now!

Rating: NC-17 (very graphic/under age sex) though this chapter is more R than NC-17, sorry. I promise the next few chapters will have more sex. In chapters 5 and 6 it just wasn't right with the plot.

**Chapter 6 – when the moon was full**

_~ Sirius' p.o.v ~_

"Did you pack spare clothes, Peter?" queried James despairingly.

Peter shook his head negatively, lowering his head, shoulders slumped, there is nothing worse for Peter then letting James down or upsetting him. The thought alone would devastate him.

"Then what did you pack, if you didn't pack any spare clothes, or the invisibility cloak or our wands?" 

I could tell that James was nervous about tonight's adventure; one way to tell was by the fact that he had lost his unshakable patience with Peter's incompetence.

"James, let it go" I grabbed the back of his robe and dragged him rather forcefully to our bathroom, hoping to calm him down before he erupted, god only knew what he might do to Peter in his rage.

Now James never got insanely angry unless said person had more than earned his wrath, and being that he had always been a wonderful and tolerant lad, I had never felt his heated anger upon me, but I'm afraid I had witnessed it on rare occasions, not a pretty sight.

The bathroom door shut behind us in a quiet hiss. I turned to James slowly, my eyes gazing unsurely into his pale sapphire eyes, searching.

"I'm calm, thank you; I hope I didn't scare Peter too much." Replied James to my unspoken question, a grimace of distaste on his face.

"Not too bad, I think, but you should apologize."

"I know! I will, don't worry."

We looked at each other and smiled, it has always amazed me how close we are how I love him so much. He seems sometimes more than a brother, more than a friend, more like an extension of my soul, my other half. The way he knows me, feels me, is sometimes uncanny. This connection is too deep to describe.

I leaned forward, I don't know why.

James leaned forward, his eyes burned with blue fire, his lips parted softly, pink tongue peeking out to slowly caress his full lower lip, my eyes were glued to the erotic sight.

We leaned even closer, James soft breathless pants caressing the sensitive skin of my lips, I could taste him already.

My heart was racing, a pulse pounding somewhere in the back of my head, in perfect harmony with the rest of my excited body.

I finally made my move and began my descend towards that heavenly target, James' sweet moist lips. 

We closed our eyes together at the same time, gazing at each other a mere millisecond before the veils of our lids had covered our eyes, and our lips were so close to touch, so near, a mere inch separated us.

The desire and the aching longing filled me, this was agony, I had to come closer. 

James lips had parted in readiness for mine, it had to be done now, let the consequences be bared later. I was going in for the kill.

"Sirius, James, I got Peter packing again, he said you lost….what the..?"

_~ Remus' p.o.v ~_

I walked in to our dorm room, I felt so giddy inside, excited, I had never felt this way about a transformation before, but I knew tonight would be the answer to years of loneliness and pain.

"What's wrong Peter?"  

When I came in I found Peter sitting on Sirius' bed, his shoulders slumped and his eyes shining with bright tears.

"It's James. I messed up and he got mad at me, really mad, Sirius had to drag him into the bathroom to calm him down. Can't I do anything right?"

I knew it was about James, how could it not be. It did seem strange that James would lose his temper, since I had nearly never seen such a thing occur. Well first to take care of Peter and then a little chat with my mate James and everything should blow over nicely.

After talking to Peter for a few minutes I had cheered him up and got him packing again, time for a chat with Jamie. The work of a good friend is never over; I sighed and opened the bathroom door, knowing that Sirius and James were probably joking around with each other in order to calm Jamie's terrifying temper.

"Sirius, James, I got Peter packing again, he said you lost….what the..?" my breath caught in my throat. I couldn't have seen this, my eyes were playing tricks on me, or perhaps it is the effect of the full moon that will rise in 2 hours time, that must be it, because I refuse to admit that I saw James and Sirius almost kissing in our bathroom.

They pulled apart abruptly; James' face tinted with crimson red flush, making him seem like an angry tomato with a mop of unruly hair, much like an ailing fungus. 

Sirius on the other hand, stared at the floor as though it had suddenly become of great importance to him. He would not look at me, so I continued staring relentlessly and cruelly at his lowered head of dark silky locks.

The sun's bright rays shone through the bathroom window, casting an ethereal glow over our now bleak surroundings. It seems wrong somehow, that the sun should shine so brightly, while the room was eerily silent.

Sirius looked up at me then, there was no apology in his glance, just a hint of guilt, was it? But mostly embarrassment at being caught at such a compromising situation by me.

I hate this! I hate James, I hate Sirius. I hate myself. I hate that I stood there silently. I hate that I apologized for interrupting them. I hate that I walked out of there quietly, closing the door behind me in a soft hiss, when I really wanted to slam it shut, when I wanted to scream and yell, I wanted to rip and tear and maim. I hate it that I smiled at them softly, decivingly, before I left. I hate that I promised not to tell a soul, while the agony of this betrayal tore me apart. 

The wolf had awoken now, I had to go. But the doubts and pain would not give me a moment of peace. A shadow of trepidation had grown in my mind, would my wolf harm them tonight? Will he scent their betrayal? Or would he know my mind? My heart?

There is no more time to ponder; the sun was setting now, as it had begun to in that bathroom, mere minutes ago, where it shone brilliantly upon my distress. The last rays had caressed the green pastures of our school, my time has come. I left to Madam Pomfery's office, swiftly, my heightened senses alerting me to potential foes.

I could no longer feel any joy at my friends' company, pain and apprehension had gripped me, and I could do naught but pray to my wild wolf, that he might tame himself, that he would not harm them. There was no time. No time at all.

_~ Severus p.o.v ~_

There he goes again. I wonder where he goes off to all the time. Why it bothers me so? Perhaps it's the secretive looks, the hushed whispers, or maybe it is the fact that it's him. 

Prefect Remus, the noble Gryffindor, every once in a while I see him, walking down the corridors unaccompanied by his band of idiotic hooligans, he calls friends. 

I follow him swiftly this time, my black robes bellow behind me, tracing almost caressingly against the wall to my left, to which I hastily flatten myself, when he turns towards me. 

It's the end of the corridor now, I see him a mere 5 feet from me, he turns, his eyes scanning the corridor from whence we had come, brown-blond hair with strange silver streaks, caressing his pale cheeks, his hazel eyes red rimmed with tiredness, yet I could see even from this distance the silvery fire that scorched the surface. It seemed almost inhuman, the burn, the beauty of it, the prickling of apprehension that runs through me whenever we meet.

He knocks on the door, and Madam Pomfery opens it quietly, wearing her outer robes, she pets his shoulder gently as though comforting him, and then they walk down the hall, away from me.

It takes but a second for me to decide, should I follow them? Or walk back to my room quietly and add this interesting finding to my already growing pile of information, I have yet managed to connect?

I follow; they are walking down the stairs, towards the door leading outside of school, why would she take him out of school?

Is someone in his family ill again?

I ponder the thought for a mere minute before I watch the door open, the last rays of the sun strike his face, making his skin shine a healthy shade of brown, his blonde-brown-silver hair glows brilliantly as though made of tarnished gold, whose spark will not be banished, he turns his magnificent face to Madam Pomfery's wise visage, and they walk together outside, the door closing quietly behind them, the last ray caresses my face before they disappear behind the closed door.

I mean to follow but a sound from the corridor alerts me to the arrival of someone, I rush swiftly to a door, I know will lead me into the abandoned bathrooms on the floor, I peak through the door to see who my surprise visitor is, to find the immature brats I despise. James and Sirius. 

They stand together, turning slowly towards each other, a secret smile gracing their handsome features. 

"All is set" 

"I know"

And that's all they say, they walk away together, James' arm gently caressing Sirius' shoulder and the back of his neck, Sirius leaning to the touch, they smile and disappear.

I stand in the hallway; feeling dumbfounded and befuddled, what was going on? I am no closer to finding out the mystery today as I was last month.

I walk slowly to my dormitories, hoping to find some answer, or at least drown myself in homework to forget this unsolved mystery that plagues my mind at all times.

"Eye of a newt" the portrait slides away, I walk inside, watching the portrait slide back to cover the entrance. 

There will be a time when I will know of this mystery, and then they will see, they will be afraid, and I would have won.

_~ Sirius' p.o.v ~_

"It's time! Get moving!"  
"We're coming, relax!" 

The sun had set an hour ago, the sky had turned a dark blue, and the moon was about to shine through the velvet cover.

Remus was waiting for us, in the shack.

"Alright, you all remember the plan?" I nodded quickly, my nerves tensed as I thought once again of the risk, the stakes. But the excitement buzzed inside of me, I felt drunk with exhilaration, almost numb from the pleasure of it.

I looked at James, his hands were shaking, he quickly wiped a bead of sweat from his forehead. I wanted to lick it off of him, slowly, so I could savor the taste of his skin, the texture of it. 

We hadn't talked about the near kiss, after Remus had interrupted us, it felt wrong to continue, the moment was lost to us both. 

James had gone back to the room to apologize to Peter for losing his temper, and I was left alone, to ponder my feelings.

I felt guilty, I don't know why; it felt like I betrayed Remus, which is crazy since I had done nothing wrong, my issues should be with James not Remus, he is the one I nearly kissed after all. But I could not shake this feeling that I had hurt Remus unbearably, and that was something, I couldn't bear.

James returned and we both went together to the entrance door to watch Madam Pomfery and Remus slowly making their way towards the whomping willow tree.

"All is set"

"I know"

We turned to go back to our rooms to get ready to leave, James' hands caressed my shoulder and the back of my neck, I shivered with the pleasure the mere touch brought me and leaned into his loving caress a smile on my face.

Peter, James and I went swiftly and quietly out of the entrance door, walking as speedily as possible to avoid meeting either Hagrid, our friendly ground keeper, who despite his great affection towards us, will still drag us back inside the castle and send us to our rooms, or the new caretaker Mr. Filch with his trusty young kitten Mrs. Norris, now he could get us into a lot of trouble, not to mention his already deep rooted hatred towards us, marauders, it must have something to do with that time we broke into his office and charmed the walls hot pink with flowers added for good measure, and rewritten his list of rules to allow alcohol, drugs and rock music parties once a week as an order that must be followed. Or maybe it was the time we published an add for him in the Daily Prophet's dating section, saying: 

"Not-so-hot young thing, looking for an old hag for a life time commitment, must love cats and whipping. If you are interested please send an owl to Argus Filch. Caretaker in Hogwarts School of witchcraft and wizardry."

He did get a lot of owls after that, you would think he would thank us, but no, he went to Dumbledore and tried to frame us, luckily for us A: there was no proof. B: Dumbledore thought it was funny. You've got to love Dumbledore for that sense of humor.

Either way if we are caught there is no way we would get out of it, sneaking out at night, especially on the night of the full moon, was an offence punishable by expulsion, not even Dumbledore could save us then.

We reached the whomping willow quickly, urging Peter to transform into a rat and freeze the whomping willow. Even after a few long hours of training Peter still took longer then me and James to master his transformations, which is why it took him over ten minutes to become a rat. But surely enough I watched as his body shrank quickly, his skin turning gray and then finally he had a rat's ears and tails, he gave a final squeak and there was no more Peter just a common brown-gray rat.

Peter the rat, quickly slid between the willow's undergrowth of roots, and used his small paws to press against a spot in the tree trunk. James and I watched amazed again as the branches froze in mid swing, and stood still as though time itself had frozen them forever, as though time itself had stopped. We were roused from our stupor by Peter's impatient squeaks.  

James and I looked at each other, and smiled the excitement of today fuelled us and I knew he felt his heart race like crazy, the blood pumping furiously and his head felt slightly dizzy, because I felt the same way.

We slid together into the tunnel, that took us to the shack, Peter resting peacefully in James shirt pocket.

The tunnel ended, we were already in the shack. It looked horrid, pieces of broken furniture lied everywhere, cobwebs and dust covered every imaginable corner and knack of the small shack, I found it hard to believe that Remus could stay here for a minute not to mention a few hours, Remus hated mess and dirt, the mere smell of this room would have driven Remus' sensitive senses haywire. The sad reality of his situation, had struck me again, Remy suffered this, and I thought of this as an adventure, how crazy it seems now in the cold harsh reality.

I turned suddenly, I could here a noise, it was Remus, I could sense it was him. We had lost track of time, and now we stood on the grounds of a werewolf on the night of the full moon. Meaning that upstairs waited a fully grown wolf, not my trusty good friend Remus who wouldn't hurt a fly, we had to transform now.

I turned to James "transform now, let Peter down, and transform, the wolf is coming" 

And sure enough we heard a growl, Peter squeaked in alarm, and scurried behind a broken cabinet as soon as James set him down.

James looked at me, with the first sign of fear he had ever shown in his brave life, to see James afraid, suddenly made me feel afraid, now it seemed crazy. Three school boys playing with a werewolf, what where we thinking, this was not Remus, this was no pet, this is a wolf.

And then we transformed. 

I was in the middle of my transformation when the silvery-yellowed eyed wolf was upon us, I had glimpsed at him a mere second in my human eyes, his big white fangs displayed for us, his mouth open in a snarl of rage, as though he was announcing to us of his displeasure at our interruption.

He was terrifying but magnificent, his coat of fur a deep silver color, streaked with black, whites and grey, his eyes, honey colored, burned with an intensity that was not human. I couldn't see Remus at all, I could only see the wolf, but then my vision had blurred my transformation complete, I was now a big black grim-like-dog.

The wolf had stopped in mid-attack; he cocked his head to the side in a canine expression, as though asking "what had just happened?" 

He was confused, because he could no longer scent humans in the room, only a rat, a dog and a stag.

It took me only a minute to decide, I stepped towards him, lowering my head, my tail between my legs, the wolf snarled at me, his fur standing on end. I dropped to the ground before him, and mewled piteously, the wolf circled around me, I could at times feel his breath against my fur covered neck; I closed my eyes in fear.

Behind me I could hear James becoming agitated, his hooves making soft sounds on the wood floor, it seemed as though he was tapping with his foot on the floor, as he did when he was nervous, I could almost hope that when I turned my head I would look at dark tousled hair, pale blue eyes and an infectious smile. But the reality of it all was even more surreal.

And then I felt it, jaws closing around my throat, not enough to hurt, just enough to make me breath shallowly. I could hear James getting anxious; I could almost clearly imagine what was going through his head, and I wanted to be in his head, anywhere but right here on this dirty wooden floor with a wolf's jaws circling my neck like a loop of fear, slowly sucking the life from me, my heart beating desperately in my chest, my mind racing. I wanted to be anywhere else. Anywhere.

I whined softly, when the jaws around my throat gripped my neck tighter, the fangs leaving an indentation around my throat, but still they did not break the skin. And the pressure was gone; I could feel a wet tongue slowly caressing me, my nose, my throat, my mouth, my cheeks, I stood up and  began licking the wolf back, I licked his nose, and his neck. I understood that Remus' wolf had accepted me, I gently nudged him towards James and Peter, he moved towards them, sniffing and circling them, I could sense their trepidation and fear, yet they stood still, not daring to move.

With a final sniff, Remus had accepted them as well, we tried to play together in the shack but there was no room for two over grown mutts to play, with James' help we slowly made our way outside to the forest. 

Remus stood still for a minute his silver dappled tail, erect, as he suspiciously sniffed the air. 

And then he began to run, I stared at James, he had just enough time to pick up Peter and lift him onto his mighty prongs before we were off, as we had promised Remus, we will never let him out of our sight.

We chased after him, hoping he hadn't gone far, I began sniffing the air to try to locate Remus' position, it was an easy task for a dog. 

We had reached a clearing, and there before us on the ground laid our wolf.

Remus lifted his head to look at us, wagging his tail as a dog would do, he lifted himself up, and crouched in an attack position, before I could react he had jumped me, we began rolling on the forest floor, our furs mingled black-blue with silver, black and grey.

Remus and I began clashing our open jaws, much like dogs do; it seemed like a twisted French kiss. 

We chased and jumped each other all night, racing through the forest, joined by a stag with a rat on his prongs.

Once every couple of minutes the wolf would stop, and snarl at us, circling us and gripping my throat with his fang, I immediately understood that this was Remus' way of reminding us all that he was the leader, the "alpha male" in our pack. I bore his snarls and his near bites quietly, because I knew he would not harm me.

Beneath all that soft silvery fur I could see Remus, when we played or ran across the forest, I would look into the wolf's eyes and see Remus, my Remus. Inside of those yellow-colored eyes with its silver streaks, I could see a touch of hazel, a touch of humanity; even a simple head shake bore Remus' trade mark style. 

The wolf and Remus were one, how could I ever fear him?

_~ James p.o.v ~_

It was finally over, now I could relax. Remus had accepted us quickly as his pack, though he made certain to reinforce upon us his leadership, we all knew better than to challenge him. But it seemed as though the wolf feared Sirius challenging him the most, could it be because they were both canines? Predators by nature? And me and Peter represented prey?  
  


We raced through the forest together, Peter's terrified squeaks pounding in my head, the wind had never felt so refreshing, the air never so pure, and my senses were more enhanced here in my new body's natural environment then it was in that abandoned class room, in which we spent hours transforming into our chosen animagus form.

As you can see, I'm a stag, Peter's rat, he wasn't too pleased about that, but it is very useful. And beautiful Sirius is a dog, a very big grim like dog, with the silkiest fur, I have ever touched. 

I had never seen Remus in his wolf form, but I did see him now with my deer's eyes, he was magnificent, as big as me and Sirius, with beautiful silver fur spotted with blacks, whites and greys, beautiful honey colored eyes, where a silver flame could be seen, I'd like to think that Remus was that silver flame, strong yet elusive but like in Remus' own eyes, it's always there, always alive. He is a survivor.

It was near 5:30am, the sun had began to rise, I felt completely drained, Peter had long ago fallen asleep on my horns, I dared not move for fear I might wake him, it seemed the best I could do now, since I still owed him for my earlier outburst (even though I had apologized) as well as an apology for all the tousling he had experienced this night.

We were all lying on the ground. Sirius warm body curled up around Remus' wolf form, while I laid a mere inch away from Sirius, with Peter.

The sun had started to rise, we all turned towards Remus, Sirius and Peter awoke to the sound of the wolf moaning as though in pain. 

Remus had started to shake, it seemed as though the wolf refused to let go, refused to leave our friend's body for another month. I wondered whether this struggle between Remus and the wolf happened in everything they did, was the wolf forever whispering to him in the back of his mind?

Does the wolf also struggle against Remus on the night of the full moon, pushing to get out, fighting Remus for control?

Sirius would say it was an infusion, that Remus and wolf are one.

But I disagree, I think the wolf is a part of Remus but not Remus' soul, and I keep fearing what if one day, the fight will be over? What if the wolf will remain, the last one standing?

What if come morning the wolf will not part? Will there be any Remus left?

The battle for Remus had begun; the wolf whined and shook, refusing to let his hold over Remus go. But the sun had risen now, as though commanding him back to the shadows from whence he came. And the wolf left, it's tail now hang between his legs, and before us lay Remus, beautiful Remus, with his golden brown hair, his deep hazel eyes with the mysterious silver streak that also colored his hair with mere tints. A spark of wit and intelligence marked his features. The beautiful eyes opened slightly, they were red rimmed and tired, his naked pale body bared nearly no marks at all, in all of Remus' prior transformation, he nearly almost needed to be hospitalized since the wolf would rip him apart, as werewolf are known to do when locked up with nothing to bite, they bite themselves, as Remus body bared the scars of past encounters.

"I'm so cold, where am I?" he whispered, throat too sore to speak aloud.

I immediately transformed back, sitting before him with my clothes (in our many practices we had learned to transform back with our clothes though it took us a long time and countless of clothes).

"You are in the forest, I have brought an extra robe, can you walk?" I asked him quietly, taking charge of the situation, I unlike Sirius found it hard to let go of my leadership, though I knew it was good for me to step back, and also healthy when running with an alpha male wolf.

Remus could barely walk, so Sirius had transformed back as well and so has Peter, we made our way as quickly as possible to the shack, before Madam Pomfery, will arrive to check on Remus and take him to the infirmary.

Peter transformed back when we arrived at the whomping willow, as you realize it was Peter so indeed it took more then one attempt, for him to yet again become the rat.

After 3 attempts he had succeeded, he went swiftly to the knot on the tree trunk and opened the tunnel for us, I leaned Remmy against Siri for a minute so I could lower myself to the tunnel, taking down Peter as well, I turned back to help Sirius lower Remus as well, when we had all reached the ground of the tunnel we raced as fast as possible towards the entrance to the shack. 

"Let's lay him down here" suggested Sirius to a pile of dirty sheets that lay tangled on the filthy wooden floor.

Before I could respond, I felt Remus' body tense up in my arms; Sirius must have sensed it as well for he had already taken out his wand and had started charming the sheets clean and also putting a warming spell on them.

Remus relaxed, his voice soft and breathy. "Thank you"

We lowered him gently on the now clean and warmed sheets, I took my robe so it will not be found and we covered his nakedness fully with the sheets, 

"You have to go now!" he exclaimed softly. I nodded at him, before dragging Peter and Sirius behind me, we raced outside and to our dormitories, attempting to avoid being caught by a teacher, Hagrid, Madam Pomfery, Filch or one of the ghost. Lady luck was definitely on our side today.

My bed never felt so soft, warm and welcoming as it did now, thank god today was a Sunday and we could sleep as late as we wanted, and be awakened only by a growling stomach.

~ Sirius p.o.v ~

"Get up, Sirius, I'm starving!!" whined James piteously in my ear, several hours after we had returned to our dormitories.

I sighed and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, I still felt exhausted, I have no idea how Remus does this every month on school nights and still manages to make it to 3rd period, even though he is injured most of the time.

"I'm up, Jamie quit whining"

"I don't whine!"

"Oh yes you do!"

"I do not!"  
"Do too!" 

"Do not"

"Do too"

"SHUT UP! Now Sirius get up, I'm starved"

James and I looked up at Peter, surprised. By the look on his face so was he.

I got up and got dressed quickly, not even combing my hair, just running my fingers through it, and brushing my teeth, and we're off to get lunch, since it is 2:00pm.

We sit together as we always do; I'm already preparing a plate for Remus with his favorite food, as well as the last chocolate frog I have.is it out of guilt? I wonder, but shake my head. I don't feel guilty.

I pile sausages, chicken, mashed potatoes and some cooked vegetables and start eating my lunch which consists of chicken and mash potatoes, since I'm not very hungry yet.

James is already in his second helping, defeated only by Peter who's already in his forth.

"What? I didn't eat any breakfast!" he exclaims, embarrassed when both James and I stare at him in wicked amusement.

I get up once I had finished, and slowly make my way towards the infirmary, I find that I can't wait to see Remus, my whole body is practically tingling with an emotion I can't define, if I didn't know any better, I would say lust, but that can't be it. Why would I lust after Remus? He is my friend and nothing else. 

"But you do lust after James, and he is like your brother, is he not?"

A disturbing voice in the back of my head queried rather loudly.

"That's different" I replied.

"How so?"

I couldn't reply. Thankfully my train of thought was cut off by a strange sight that greeted me, upon my arrival.

"What are you doing sneaking around here snape?" I demanded to know, the rage and protectiveness inside of me flaring to life, at the thought of snape finding out about Remus, hurting Remus.

"Well, well if it isn't the Gryffindor's mud blood whore" said snape, a disgustingly vile smirk on his face, making his nose seem that much bigger compared to the rest of his face, making him look like one of the devil's spawns, not a bad allegory, if I do say so myself.

"Shut the hell up, snape, and quit sneaking around us, or I promise you, you will pay! Now get out of my way!" I pushed past him, hearing his taunts and jabs, strike me like sharp prickling needle. Not too deep to cause serious harm, yet just enough to leave a trace of hurt in their wake.

I stormed into the infirmary, stopping in front of Remus' bed; I could already feel the anger and hurt slip away from me, being drained out of me, by the mere sight of Remus, lying asleep, on the bed. His beautiful face relaxed in sleep, a faint smile tracing his full pink lips, his pale lashes caressing his cheeks in a most sinful way. His warm, pale body curled up into his blankets, the same way he was curled into me a mere few hours ago, in his wolf form.

I didn't want to disturb him, so I stepped forward, intending only to leave the plate of food and chocolate frog on his bedside table and depart.

When he licked his lower lip with his tongue, it was a human gesture, hardly something he had never done before. But I was hooked, the sight of him sleeping, tongue tracing his lower lips, much like a lover's caress, I couldn't stop myself, from tracing that lower lip with my thumb. 

I jerked away immediately. What was wrong with me? This is Remus!

First I lust after James, now Remus? Maybe I am more of a whore then I thought. I wanted to race out of there, but in my haste, my leg bumped into the foot of the bed, causing it to jerk, slightly, just enough to rouse Remus from his nap.

"What? Oh Sirius, what are you doing here?" he looked up at me a smile on his pale and tired face, his eyes back to their normal post full moon, hazel and silver streaked, silver and gold, a trace of red in them, mocking me for disturbing his peace.

"oh, I , I just brought you lunch, thought you might be hungry, and I know you need your meat, so I thought I should get you some food. I also brought you a chocolate frog, but I saw you were asleep and I didn't mean to wake you, but I'm a klutz and I bumped into your bed" I rumbled on nervously.

Remus looked at me appraisingly as though just by looking at me he could glean some information from me.

That look on regular days, in full intensity can have me crying in his arms confessing past indiscretions and embarrassing stories of my childhood, he just had this disarming quality, you could not defend yourself against, unless you could avoid his eyes. But his eyes were by far his most beautiful feature, the mixture of silver and gold together, each color prevailing over the other according to the nearness of the full moon.

I like to think that the gold is Remus, the pure beauty, that he sparkles in the sun, where he belongs, and the silver is the wolf, howling in the moonshine colored by its silver rays. They exist inside of him; bear traces upon him, scars of the wolf, wit of the boy, silver of the wolf and gold of the boy.

And Remus is gold.

"Thank you" he says, a sweet smile on his face, and I back away towards the door, with a simple nod, I leave.

"There you are! I thought you went to Remus?" James burst through the door to our dormitories, a permanent smile on his charming features. 

"I did, but he needed his rest so I left." I lied through my teeth, hoping James' lie detecting skill were still asleep.

We left our rooms, strolling outside in the sunny afternoon, walking towards the lake, just the two of us, a gentle breeze sweeps through the few trees that circle the grounds, and ruffle our hairs in its passing.

We finally sit together beneath an old charmed apple tree, leaning our heads back, to rest from the hot sun; its long branches shading us from the scolding heat.

We turn to each other, a blissful smile of understanding, a flooding heat far greater then the suns' scorching blaze, travels through my veins. The smile disappears from our lips, we lean towards each other. Our eyes slowly drift shut. But in my minds eye I see him as clearly as ever. Full pink lower lip, moist from his tongue's earlier sweep, pale blue eyes blurred through a haze of lust, his glasses lay forgotten on the moss covered ground, long elegant fingers twisting his other hand in a tentative grip.

I smile at the sight and kiss him.

He opens for me quickly, my tongue swipes across his lips, caressing his full lower lip, before sliding into his mouth, to taste his sweetness. My tongue explores his mouth with great fervor, across his teeth, caressing his Platte, coaxing his hesitant tongue, to duel with mine, sucking it ardently and drawing it into my mouth, where his cautious tongue becomes bold and attacks my mouth with innocent exuberance, that makes my skin flush with arousal, my heart beats faster and my body tenses in anticipation.

We break off suddenly, abruptly.

And we both know what it means, know what it was we felt, we both sense it.

And we smile, and we hug, and everything is alright again.

It had been three days since the incident, the kiss, and we now feel closer than ever. Perhaps it's that the love we share is too deep to not be more than platonic? Or perhaps it's too deep to be more? Perhaps we had gone past the stage of lovers, past the stage of the physical?

And it feels right to be friends, and it feels good to know what we are, what we feel.

_~ Remus p.o.v ~ _

A chocolate frog for me? I can't believe he gave me his last one! Me and not James. He took care of me, brought me food, charmed the shits clean and warm, helped me when I could barely walk.

I sat upright in the bed I occupied in the infirmary, a smile on my face, in fact I couldn't stop smiling, and not only because of Sirius' gentle care, but also for the first time in years I could remember a tad bit of information from my time spent as the wolf. All these years all I could remember was the pain of the transformation, but never had I remembered a single fleeting thought or feeling of the wolf, or his doings on the night of the full moon. But now my wonderful friends had saved me again, they had given me back what I desired most, the feeling of being human, even as the wolf. Last night I was Remus, at least for a mere second, I was there, I knew the wolf, sensed him, I think I have finally understood him. 

The wolf was free and strong, I was nothing like that. The funny thing about it all, is that my current situation, my being a werewolf had in fact shaped my identity, made me the way I am, the fear of discovery, the knowledge that I am different, my anguish at being shunned, had all come about from this. Yet I felt weak, pathetic, my mind controlled by this wolf I had never sensed, or knew, because on the full moon, we had only met in passing.

Sure he was there in the back of my mind, occupying his own little black corner, but I have never known him, I had been too afraid, terrified I might be like him, scared of what I had read, of being vicious and cruel, of hurting.

Afraid that if I listened I would succumb to the evil in me. That I would relinquish the fight and be the wolf forever.

But last night I was in control. I was the wolf running across the ground, howling at the moon, tackling my new canine companion, beautiful Sirius. And I loved it. I wanted more.  

"Remus, dear I'm releasing you to your dormitory now, I can see that you are feeling well, so up you go, my lad" Madam Pomfery's words, shook me out of my revive. I glanced up into her deep brown eyes and smiled. It had always humbled me that she should care so much for me, treat my wounds and scars with utmost care, yet she would be strict and professional with my care. That she had put her arms around me after my first transformation in Hogwarts, which was also my worst transformation to date, she had cradled my injured body close to her, as a mother would, while I cried my fear and pain on her thin shoulders, my heart yearning for my own mother's presence.

Ever since that horrible first transformation, she had taken an almost motherly approach towards me, and would not allow me to do more than lie in the bed for at least two days after my transformation, helping me eat and regain my strength. 

The older I got, the faster I regained my strength, which now made it possible for me to be well enough to be released to attend classes from the third period on.

I dressed quickly in my spare robes that I had brought to the infirmary last night, kissed Poppy's cheek fondly and left. I looked back at her one last time before the door of the infirmary shut closed, to see her smile serenely, as she always did when she saw me looking well and strong, the marks of my trauma healed once again, and I was ready to face another month of waiting for the next transformation.

I walked into our dormitories, finding James and Sirius lying on the ground, their heads and shoulders propped up on the headboard of James' bed, while they played "Exploding Snape", a new game they had invented a long time ago, was it in 2nd year or 3rd? I could not recall.

"Ha! Take that you greasy git!" yelled James with his usual enthusiasm. A smile on his excited face as his snape shaped cards exploded in a climatic boom that nearly singed his eyebrows off.

"James you idiot, you cheated it was my turn!" Sirius exclaimed a lock of black- blue hair, falling across his cheek, making his skin shine with a healthy glow, which is only surmounted by his beautiful smile. Oh my god, I am lost, lost in my desire for him, my anguished heart it seemed could take no more, until he had made it possible again, that there was more. How can one smile defeat another? How can his hair appear to be even silkier than before, the blue streaks more pronounced?

That the night's silvery light made him a god of the night, a sparkling star, but the sun was his perfect smile, his beauty radiant as it's rays of heat that caress me, their marks last after the sun had set. He burns me, consumes me and I'm lost. I both love and hate this feeling, that I would lay down my life for him, I know. That I will sacrifice my soul for him, I know. That he will know nothing of this torment, I'm sure of.

I shake myself out of this depressing thoughts, now is not that time for melancholy, not with him so near, so happy, so beautiful.

There will be time for that later, tonight when my mind will once again have free rein on my heart, where I can delve in dreams in which I touch him, caress him, love him. And he is mine, forever, my mate.

"Remus!" Peter exclaimed, in pleasure.

Both black haired heads turned, towards me, eyes of pale blue and purple trained on me in a calculated stare, assessing my appearance to determine whether I am well rested enough for their liking.

"I feel fine, no need to worry" I answer their unasked question.

There is silence for a few minutes as we all come to terms with last nights events. I to accept the end to my lonely transformation, them to accept that they had indeed ran through the grounds accompanied by a werewolf for the first time in their lives. 

"Remus, it was so exciting…"

".. Wonderful..."

".. Felt a bit scared..."

".. But then you did that…"

".. And you ran off..."

".. Tackled me to the ground…  
".. I remember most of last night, but..."

".. You were magnificent..."

We all broke into speech together, our elation bubbling, we could barely understand each other, but it didn't matter, we had waited so long to let it out, to finally talk about last night.

We laughed for hours as we talked of our adventure, a spark of exhilaration in our eyes, a touch of pleasure touching my heart. We felt no danger, no fear, we were great voyagers, in a quest to see all that Hogwarts ground had to offer, to learn of the forest's strange inhabitants, to search the forest in our illegal forms, learning of secret hide outs and beautiful sights, waiting to be discovered. And we were the lads for the job.

"Let's do it!" Sirius cried out in his breathtaking voice. .

"Do what?" asked James a questioning look on his handsome face.

"Write a map, not just any map, our map, it will have information of all the grounds that we cover in our nightly adventures and every thing we know of the castle itself, all the secret doors and passageways, how to sneak into Hogsmead. Everything! It will be like a guide for trouble makers like us, we could leave it here after we graduate and pass it on, to our kids, so they will know all our secrets and be the second best pranksters, after us, of course." 

"I love it! We can call it the Marauder's Map, yes! It's a great idea" shouted James his enthusiasm getting the best of him.

Though it did sound like a great idea, to put down in writing all our discoveries for future generations, much like a historian does, but the thought of Sirius having kids, was not a concept I wished to accept, just yet.

We spent the rest of the after noon, adding more detail to the idea, then we had all decided what each of us will do for the map. We had also begun writing down all the information we already had.

"I think we need nicknames, what do you think James?" swallowed Peter nervously, his eyes shining with adoration and vulnerability. I felt my heart go out to him, hoping James will not shoot him down.

"I think that's a wonderful idea" smiled Sirius warmly. "Well done, Peter"

Peter flushed pink with delight at Sirius compliment.

But his eyes were on James, looking expectantly to be dismissed.

"I like it too, wonderful idea Peter!" James warmed tone, made Peter's already flushed face tint further with red streaks of pleasure, he did not often get a compliment out of James, and especially not from Sirius, because of their confidence, they had no need for such positive reaffirmations, that Peter needed on constant basis, I myself only knew of this because I had felt the same, before they had all learned of my awful secret.

"What should our nicknames be?" I inquired.

"How about Moony, for you Remus, Because of your persona on a full moon." Suggested James.

"Yeah, I like that too, it's not reveling for anyone other then us, who know the secret." Sirius sided with James.

And thus I was named Moony.

A few more minutes and we were all nicknamed. James was Prongs, on account of his mighty horns.

Peter was Wormtail, for his worm-like tail. And Sirius was Padfoot, for his silent padded feet.

No one could know of the reason for these nicknames, which had suddenly made our small close knitted group seem even more exclusive then before. We were no ordinary school kids. We were the marauders, a werewolf and three illegal animagus who take the shapes of a rat, a stag and a big grim-like dog.

And the writing of the map had begun that very afternoon.

"I cannot believe he worked us this hard! As much as I love quidditch, I don't enjoy doing the same strategy moves nearly 18 times in a row."

James limped into our room, dripping wet and shivering, he looked ready to collapse, and his red and gold quidditch robes were completely covered in mud as thought he had simply dipped them in the wet substance instead of using washing powder.

He went straight to the bathroom, as though he could sense my disapproval of mud, filth and dirt, being traced across our room.

He returned twenty minutes later, looking exhausted yet clean, his limping now barely visible, ruffling his wet black hair, that could not even be tamed by one of nature's strongest element, water, he sat down on his bed.

"Is Pierce driving you crazy again? Him being the new captain had really gone to his head, eh?" stated Sirius, a touch of worry in his eyes and compassion towards James that made my blood boil and my temper simmer.

Pierce was none other than Tom Pierce, a 7th year captain of the Gryffindor quidditch team, in which James' was the star, the best chaser Hogwarts had seen in many years.

Pierce, was a chaser as well, and was just nominated both captain and head boy, so naturally he was determined to win both quidditch cup as well as house cup, before graduating, he was also buried in the library on his spare time, preparing for his N.E.W.T's .

"Yes, well his excuse is that Slytherin also has a new captain who is none other than Gregory Rash, and that he is known for being a sneaky cheater, with a lot of dirty tricks up his filthy Slytherin sleeve, and I agree with him. Now excuse me as I drop, I'm so tired it's hard to focus on anything but sleep." 

We all said our goodnights and went to sleep, but I could not rest, my blood had stirred with uncomfortable warmth I could only associate with Sirius' loveliness. 

He smiled at me, that's all I could think of, his beautiful red lips, stretched in a smile, just for me.

They were so red and full, his eyes trained on me, as those heavenly lips, whispered "goodnight" to me, just to me. 

His purple eyes shining with happiness, even though he was so tired he fell asleep as soon as his head had hit the pillow, I could hear his peaceful breathing, the soft rustling of his bed covers as he sought to sink even deeper into their comforting warmth. I wanted to lay with him, in that bed, my arms wrapped around his exquisite form, caressing that silky sweet skin, trailing my hands under his blanket, traveling down his chest, over one taut pink nipple, feeling it harden and protrude from his chest, travel lower past his flat tummy, down his pleasure trail, until my hand cradled his magnificent cock,. Stroking warm fingers across the smooth strength, feeling him thicken in my hand. For me.

I laid back on my bed, closing my eyes, I let my hands run over my body, over my bare chest, where my fingers slowly traced around a nipple, a tingling sensation coursing  through my body, a wave of expectant pleasure.

But those were not my hands, no, when my eyes were closed like this, I could imagine it was him, my beautiful Sirius. His long elegant fingers, teasing my nipple. I couldn't hold back a moan of yearning at the thought of Sirius touching me. I licked my fingers and returned them to my aching nipple. Oh my god! It felt like his mouth, a wet tongue encircling the nub of nerves, I quickly did the same with my other nipple, sighing with contentment. I continued on, my hand, Sirius' hand, boldly trailing further, passed my stomach, onwards to my cock which he took firmly in hand. Stroking my already hardened organ. 

It became harder to distinguish between reality and fantasy. I didn't want to return to reality. 

Reality was me in bed wanking off to the fantasy of Sirius pleasuring me; there was no place for reality now.

The strokes became faster; my breath shallow as I sought my climax, Sirius' name on my parted lips, chanted like a mantra.

And faster, my cock was harder then ever before, I had to cum, but I refused to let go. Sirius' hand stopped its strokes suddenly, a teasing smile on his full red lips.

"Do you want release Remmy?" he whispered against my ear, his breath hot and sweet, caressing the aroused skin.

"Yes" I moaned, my voice cracking from my near orgasm, it was hard to think, hard to say no. I was seduced, taken over by him. 

"Beg me, Remus, tell me what you'd like to do to me, tell me your fantasy"

I gasped in trepidation, to speak of my twisted desire to this beauty, to scare him away with my insane obsession?

But I said it anyway.

"I'd like to touch you, stroke you, bend your beautiful body. To lick at the curves of your chest, suckle at your nipples; wrap my mouth around your cock. I'd like to bury myself so deep inside of you, we could never part. That you will forever carry a part of me within you. Your body mine to please, only mine to touch, to kiss, to pleasure. That you'll be mine."

I rambled out my most secret thoughts; my mind controlled by a need I wished to assuage, but refused to end. I refused to end this sweet torture.

My hand began stroking my cock again, furiously; I closed my eyes, feeling a wave of intense pleasure wash over me, light sweat covered my body.

I licked my lips, tasting its salty taste, convincing my enraptured mine, that I tasted his sweat, his salty tang, on my tongue, on my body.

Shudders shaking my body now, I am so close. Sirius is urging me on, his sensual voice murmuring sweet words of love in my ear. 

I cum. Imagining I had cummed all over his chest and hand. My semen coating his flat stomach, his face alight with a smile of satisfaction.

I had marked him as mine. He is mine.

I slowly regain my senses just in time to hear Sirius' first scream.

This is no shout of a startled boy, it's a shout of pain and fear, I have heard it before.

"No! Stop!"

Next in Of Beauty: of fights, betrayal, the map, and the meaning of   
being a hero.  
All of this and more, next time on Of Beauty.  
  
  
Please R&R.   
I promise more sex scenes in the future, as i said before, there just   
wasn't room for it in the plot, but there will be.

I'd like to thank all of you who took the time to review; it means a lot to me.

Shadow Shi13- thank you, I hope you will like this episode as well.

Mystic Moon- well there was no "real" Remus/Sirius action, but I hope you'll like it either way. Besides I have to torment Remus a bit, don't you think?

Jasini- well, I hope you liked this; it was kind of EVIL right? Making poor Remus suffer so much, Damn! It felt good!

Well that's all for know, I'd love to hear any comments, criticism or ideas you might have whatever you can offer that will make this story better and me a better writer.

Thanks to all of you who took the time to review. I promise chapter 7 and 8 will not take nearly as long as chapter 5, is that ok?


	7. Tales Of Betrayal

**Of beauty ****– by FunkyCharms21**

Disclaimer: I own nothing it all belongs to the wonderful J.K Rowling!

Summery: the life of Sirius black- from 4th year in Hogwarts, this is a **slash** story with multiple partners (my characters) and eventual Remus/ Sirius. Told from many different points of views.

Warning: very graphical sex scene and underage sex, if you are too young or sickened by the thought of two men together in sexual situations, leave now!

Rating: R (very graphic/under age sex)

**Chapter 7 – Tales Of Betrayal**

_~ Sirius' p.o.v ~_

He is sneaking around us again. I just saw him behind the rose bushes near the lake. 

I think he knows something.

"James, we have to talk, now!"

I drag James away towards the castle, looking behind me to ascertain his location, good; he is still by the lake.

I grab the sleeve of James' robes and pull him into the small warehouse at the back of the castle.

"What? Sirius, what the hell is going on?" James is being his oblivious self again, so I immediately cut to the chase.

"We're being followed, look I know it's stupid, but snape is following us around, I also saw him trying to get inside the infirmary, into Remus' room. He knows something."

"You're over reacting; maybe he needed to go to the infirmary. I think he has better things to do with his time than stalk Remus unless you think he has a crush on him. Oh, the things we could do with that kind of information…"

James rubbed his hands together, a devious smile on his handsome face.

"James, I'm telling you its serious" 

"No, you are! Okay, I know that was lame. Look Sirius I don't think we have anything to worry about, okay? Just calm down, he will get suspicious if you keep acting like this, you need to remember we have to act normal. Now speaking of normal, we haven't played a prank in ages; it's time to return to our former glory" 

James looks at me thoughtfully and I decide to drop the subject, though I will still keep an eye on the greasy git, that's for sure, but now it was time for a good prank.

Look out snape I've got my eye on you.

_~ Severus' p.o.v ~_

What are they hiding?

What could it be?

Is it just an idiotic prank? But why has it been going on for so long? no prank has ever taken them this long to prepare.

It has to be something else.

What is it?

I rake my brain trying to come up with an idea, an inkling of what it is they are hiding.

Oh what beauty it will be for me to find out and to have them all expelled. Then we'll see who the heroes are.

I have decided to trail after Black and Lupin as they are the ones who hold all the secrets, yet I sometimes feel that disgusting mud blood, Black, knows something. The way he looks at me is almost accusatory, and he has been paying extra attention to me, in terms of harassment unfortunately.

He may be a filthy mud blood, but he is a gorgeous one at that. From what I heard in my dormitories as well as the Slytherin common room, he resides in all of their night time's fantasies, not a good place to be, unless you're into whips and chains and being submissive, which I fail to see Black as.

It is ridicules how they all drool over him, yet openly antagonize him. They must be thinking any attention he bestows upon them is welcomed, well they are Slytherins after all.

Another day, is nearly over, I sit in the great hall, enjoying my dinner, my eyes trained on Black and Lupin. They are sitting close to each other, talking. But there is something different about how they act; they are huddled close to each other, as though there is no more room on the bench, when it is very clear that the table has not yet witnessed the return of the quidditch team from its practice, which naturally leaves their table almost bare of occupants. Yet still they huddle, whispering intimately in each other's ears, a constant smile of adoration on their faces.

It's sickening to watch, if they were any other students that is. But when it's them, I feel almost like an intruder into their private world, which I embarrassedly admit is unnervingly arousing.

Why would an intelligent pure blooded boy hang around with a mud blood whore? Yes, I know Sirius is gorgeous, we have all heard that before, several times even, and I know he is very smart, I grudgingly admit, but only to myself that both he and James are my superior in everything. It's true, they can't fail. This is why they must be expelled.

So here they are again, on the quidditch field, sitting on the stands and watching Potter's annoying antics on a broom, this time they are accompanied by none other than cowardly Pettigrew.

They sit together, Black and Lupin again huddled close, Pettigrew a seat below them, eyes fixated on Potter, showing of in his magnificently arrogant way, Pettigrew looks about ready to drool with admiration, how disgusting!

And then it happens, Black raises his hand, towards Lupin's face, where a silvery-blond strand had fallen into his eye, covering the left side of his handsome features from view. 

His hand gently tucking the errant strand behind Lupin's left ear, lingering longer than necessary on the silky lock, as though he is caressing it within his strong grip.

For a minute there, they both stop talking; Lupin's eyes drift closed slowly, his hand now above Black's hand, just holding it, as if he needs to steady himself.

He opens his beautiful hazel eyes, their depth burning with silver fire, to stare straight at Black's purple flames, they just stare, they mean to lean closer, I can tell by their body language, but they don't.

At that precise moment Pettigrew squeaks loudly in his irritating way and turns towards them.

"Yay James! (Turns to them) did you see him? Isn't he incredible?"

They both break apart as though burnt and smile nervously at Pettigrew.

I can easily hear their conversation now, since I'm sitting a few rows to the left of them and they are also no longer whispering to each other, they don't even know I'm there, but then again when have they ever seen anyone else but themselves?

I get up and slowly take my leave, but I have to look at them just once more, I cant help myself, they look beautiful together, both of them looking at Pettigrew as he attempts yet again to tell a joke, I can understand why he wishes to see them smile and laugh, they look enchanting, Black's hand is on Lupin's wrist, just holding it loosely in his grip, as though by that simple gesture they are connected, they seem to be, and I know there will never be room for me, and I accept that , I think.

I glance at Pettigrew again, wondering for the thousand time how he had entered their close knitted group, he seems out of place, they all outshine him in their beauty and charm, but he lingers on, accepted by them, loved by them, and he is unworthy of the heat of their affections.

I turn around again, and make my leave, I will watch them again, that is for sure, until I will know what it is they hide. They will slip up, and I will be there to catch them.

_~ Remus p.o.v ~_

It was so erotic, his hand tucking a stray lock behind my ear, I shivered, my eyes drifting shut by their own will, I licked my lips nervously.

I had never felt desire course through me so powerfully, consuming me, and I loved that gesture, it was not sexual, but it was so caring, the meaning behind the simple action was arousing me. I want him.

I know it's crazy, I know what he does, and that I won't ever be enough, how can I be?

But for these glorious few moments I was his and he was mine, and I loved him all the more for it. 

I spent all day twirling that cherished lock of hair as a man possessed would do, wondering if I could smell his scent on the much harassed lock, but I dared not, I feared I would be lost if I did, so I did not.

We are sitting together again, just him and me, as we had begun to do. James now had practice almost every night, the quidditch team was preparing for its game against the Slytherin team, and since we all know they don't play fair, our mighty Gryffindors will have to give it their all.

And so it happened that we were always together while James was practicing and being cheered on by Peter.

He surprised me with his wit, he is so smart, more than he gives himself credit for, though I knew he was smart, he and James are top students after all, I was still amazed at just how clever and thoughtful he is. His spirit is strong and true. The time spent in his company is always interesting, always funny. We could talk for hours, though I wished we would do more, I want more.

It was a week after our one on one meetings had begun when I finally gathered enough courage to ask about James, basically him and James, I had to know.

I breathed a sigh of relief when I learned of the end of it, though not to his face, of course.

He was not in love, free and single, and I wanted him to notice me, to covet me, to posses me.

How strange that I should ask that of him, when I am the "alpha male", but it's true, it's what I want, desire, to be taken over by him, to be his forever.

They say there is weakness in that, they are fools. If he possessed me, then I would have him, a part of me will linger inside of him as it would in me, that's the power of this possession, of love.

The sun is shining brightly as we all walk into the great hall, the wonderful smells of food cooked to perfection, assails our senses, I feel dizzy and nearly salivating, as though I hadn't eaten in months.

We all sit together in our usual seats at the middle of the table, no one else dares to sit there without our invitation, mainly because James and Sirius can be quite intimidating when they want to be, and they don't like to share.

I quickly took my seat next to Sirius across from Peter who sits beside James as always. James and Sirius sit across from each other already discussing new ideas for pranks and next week's adventure.

It's hard to believe the full moon is upon us again, I find myself almost eager for its arrival.

Since our first adventure, we had taken into exploring the grounds of the forbidden forest and Hogwarts grounds as well as Hogsmead, in preparation to finish our map, it was nearly finished, all we lacked was some more information on the grounds and to add the necessary charms to secure its secrecy.

I  unlike those two can't bare to talk of such heavy subjects when I have not yet had my breakfast, which is why both Sirius and James don't involve me in the conversation now, though I'm sure by this afternoon I would have heard all about it from both of them.

I begin to pile food onto my plate, pancakes and eggs, sausages and crispy bacon with a bit of vegetable salad, after all it's important to eat healthy.

I had just taken a bite out of my bacon, when I saw him approach us, he was none other than Jeffery Michaels, a 7th year Gryffindor, with deep green eyes and short blonde hair, he was one of the quidditch team's beaters, so naturally he was tall and muscled, at first I thought he wished to talk to James but it became apparent to me rather quickly that Sirius had made it his goal to screw with every guy on both the Ravenclaw's and the Gryffindor's team, be they gay or straight, and now it was Jeffery's turn.

I watched them talking quietly, Sirius looking up at him a teasing smile gracing his full red lips.

James had welcomed the intruder into our circle, to sit with us in the middle of the Gryffindor table, sitting between me and Sirius, making my hatred towards him even more intense than before.

They all chatted together, James spattering on about the team's chances in the upcoming match against the Slytherin, while Jeffrey simply nodded and replied in one word answers, his eyes locked on Sirius, and why wouldn't they be?

Sirius was putting on quite a show, pretending to be oblivious to the silence that suddenly reined over the great hall, ignoring the gasp of shock and lust escaping his observers, while he sucked lusciously on a strawberry, dipped in cream, I was amazed none of the teachers, who mind you, were watching this avidly, had commented on his atrocious performance.

I am utterly furious with him.

Sirius had finally swallowed the strawberry's remains and with a final sweep of his tongue on his now wet full red lips; had also licked the remains of its juicy flavor. I could feel that poor Jeffery was nearly bursting with the need, to suck those heavenly red lips, to taste the juice of the strawberry that lingered on those fleshy lips.

We had then finished our breakfast in silence, and gotten up to return to our dorms, it is a Sunday morning after all.

We all stood up, James talking to Sirius for a few minutes; I couldn't hear what they were saying over the ruckus of many other students leaving the great hall, the seductive performance of Sirius still upon their lips, he had gained himself many admirers this morning.

I turn towards James and Sirius again; they are both smiling, James pats   Sirius' shoulder in a friendly manner, and walks away.

At first I'm shocked; did we not decide to spend the day together working on the map? 

I look back at Sirius only to watch him leave with Jeffery, in the opposite direction; Jeffery had his arm around his waist as though he feared Sirius might run off from him, I hoped he would. And my jealousy increases.

I turn back towards James, who is walking back to our dormitories.

My nerves are a mess; I can't stop looking at the clock in our common room, trying to assure myself that he is not having sex at the moment, hoping to see him walk through the door right now. Sex takes more than 10 minutes, right?

So if he came in now, I'd know he hadn't slept with him. Maybe they just kissed? No, that was worse! To think he slept with him is bad, but a kiss is so intimate, I don't want him to kiss anyone, anyone but me.

_~ Sirius p.o.v ~_

His hands were all over me, it felt so good, I was under constant assault, his lips caressed the skin of my neck, my jaw, my cheeks, before he placed them on mine, while his hands caressed my chest, my nipples and my back.

I opened my mouth for him, eagerly, my tongue dueling with his, before he chased my tongue into my mouth.

He explored my mouth ruthlessly, I was already feeling dizzy with desire, my body shivering, the blood pumping faster in my veins, I was hooked.

We walked out of the great hall, together his arm around my waist, I had told James I would be back in an hour and that he should start working on the map without me. Being the good friend that he is, naturally he agreed.

I looked back at Remus; he seemed quite shocked, which made me feel sad, like I had disappointed him.

We had been spending more time together lately, and I don't want to ruin anything, but I, well I just feel horny I guess.

And Jeffery is just what I need, no strings attached sex.

James would say that I need to watch my back and that one day I will mess with the wrong guy, I hope not, and I'm also too horny to care.

We had barely made it out of the great hall and into the astronomy tower before he jumps me.

He turns me towards him and kisses me aggressively. His tongue, licking my lips, demanding entrance to my mouth, I moan and eagerly comply. My mouth fills with his musky taste, his hands begin tearing at my robes, I grudgingly return the favor on his.

His tongue caresses my Platte, sweeping across my mouth, sucking on my tongue. Ummm that feels so good.

And then we break apart gasping, he starts tracing his tongue and lips, placing soft kisses across my neck, my jaw, my cheeks and finally my mouth, he is gentle this time, his tongue caresses my mouth, my teeth, sucking on my tongue softly, I can feel him moaning, into me, the vibrations race through me, I shiver in need.

Now I'm the aggressor. I strip him naked, pulling his underwear off with my teeth, he seems shocked, I think he was under the misconception that he was the "top" and I the "bottom". I smirk up at him, while I sit on the floor in front of his now naked torso.

I stand up, never breaking eye contact, and strip for him, my clothes dropping to the floor in a heap, next to our torn robes (I'll have to remember to fix that before I leave, otherwise it would be too hard to explain should I run into McGonagall). Our clothes and robes now make a fine bedding on the cold harsh stone floor. 

I trace my hands across my chest, pinching my nipples, and twirling them, before I move further down, across my flat stomach, my muscles tightening.

I move lower, he is watching me still, as though he knows he is not allowed to touch me until I say so, that is.

Surprisingly he is not on my mind now, no, not at all. In my mind I'm stripping for someone else, in my mind, hazel eyes with a touch of silver rake over my wanton body, I shiver again; I feel my hardness twitch beneath its bed of silky black-blue curls.

My hand is now stroking my firm flesh, up and down, feeling it thicken and grow in my grip, feeling the silky texture of the skin covering the hard organ.

"I can't take any more of this" a strangled sound is issued from his mouth.

I look up just in time, for my mouth to be ravished again; my lips feel so full, and bruised from all of his kisses, I want them to be even redder, I want to wrap them around his manhood. To feel him come undone in my arms, whispering my name on his lips, as though he knows no other word.

I feel myself become harder.

His tongue is in my mouth again, dueling with mine. We break apart, I sink my teeth in his neck, leaving marks in my wake, which I sooth gently with my tongue and lips.

I move on to his nipples, take each into my mouth, slowly caressing the pale pink tip with my tongue, feeling it harden and tighten in my mouth.

He is moaning again, the sound leaves me mesmerized. I slide lower, my tongue licking a straight line down his chest, towards his strong stomach, dipping into his navel, only to move further down towards his erection, I waste no time, before I swallow him deep down my throat, he bucks up towards my mouth, nearly gagging me, but I catch my rhythm quickly and continue to suck, pleasuring him. In and out, my lips feel rough and bruised from this treatment, and I love it. He tastes so good, musky and manly, like Cameron, and it doesn't feel wrong to do this, it just feels good.

His hands are in my hair, caressing my scalp, I moan around him, and continue my assault on his hardness, in and out, My knees are killing me, as I'm still kneeling on the floor, I can feel them being scraped rough, but I can't stop this. I let him slide out of my mouth with a 'pop', my tongue caressing the firm flesh, he bucks again, but I'm prepared this time, my hands grip his hips firmly and hold him still. I swallow him down again, one hand now massaging his testicles. 

He is begging me to finish him now, no coherent thought in his mind but this release. So naturally I stop.

"What?? No! You can't leave me like this!" he whines, when I let go of him and stand up.

His hand reaches down in an attempt to relieve himself. I catch it easily in my hand.

"No touching, you will cum when I want you to cum, and not before" I rise from the floor and whisper softly in his ear. He begins to whimper piteously. I kiss him then, plunging my tongue deep inside of his mouth, possessing him, leaving no surface unmarked by my tongue.  

I end the kiss; he is panting now, his green eyes almost black with desire, his face flushed, lips full and swollen from my attention. 

I smirk at him. "Lay down, now!" I command.

He does as he is told, knowing that if he wishes to cum, he will have to do as I say. He leans back on the floor, covered in our robes; he shivers slightly as his flesh touches their warmth, adding to the fire already singing through his veins. He is like putty in my hands.

I lean over him, licking across his neck, down his chest, licking past a nipple, before moving further down, to lick the head of his erection. I kiss his inner thighs, sucking on the gentle skin, leaving red marks, signs of my possession, in my wake.

I part his legs further, bending his knees, exposing him. I quickly grab my wand and perform a charm I was taught by Matthew, the first non muggle lad I had ever been with.

"Lubricous" pointing my wand at his needy entrance, watching avidly as his entrance becomes covered with lube. 

My finger traces soothingly across the now oiled cleft, just circling it, he tenses, expecting to feel the intrusion of my finger. 

"Relax, I'm sure you've done this before" I look into his eyes, making sure that he wants this, that he has done this before. I see the lust in his eyes, the fire burning in them; his body is shaking and sweaty. I need no further encouragement, I plunge my finger inside of him, he bucks up in surprise, and yelps. I wait for him to relax before I begin to move my finger inside of his tight hole, stretching the tight channel. Soon I have a second finger inside of him; he moans softly and pushes against my fingers. I scissor my fingers inside of him, stretching him open, I curl them upwards and start to stroke his prostate, he moans again, his erection returns to its former hardness, I stroke him with my other hand several times, while adding a third finger inside of his now relaxed opening.

His thighs are shaking, hands wrapped tightly on the robes, littering the floor, his jaw clenches while sweat covers his heated body.

I slip my fingers out of him, trying to steady my shaking hands; I perform the charm again, this time on my own needy flesh.

I grab his legs with my hands, lifting them onto my shoulders.

I push him back down on our robes. Now pushing against his entrance, the tip of my hardness just breaching his tightness. And then I plunge in with one fierce thrust. (I found out I needed no condom in the wizarding world, thanks again to Matthew's wonderful teaching).

"Oh" he groans into my ear, his teeth biting his lower lip, his head thrown back.

He looks beautiful this way, body sweating and undulating beneath me, his tight entrance ripples around my heated flesh, his green eyes now black and unseeing, almost glassy, lips drawn back as his body adjust to my girth and length.

"Oh god, move!"  He cries, his voice husky and desperate with need.

I laugh, but I move anyway, pulling out and then plunging back in, not allowing him time to recuperate.

I start us in a fierce rhythm, thrusting inside of him relentlessly. He is looking at me pleadingly, wordlessly asking for some kind of stimulation, since I'm not stroking him, or striking his prostate. 

I know all he feels are the vibrations of my thrusts deep inside of him, just a trace of them caressing his neglected prostate, not nearly enough to lead to his orgasm, but just enough to keep him on edge, lusting at the near yet so far goal.

I ignore his pleadings, and pull out of him.

"On your stomach, now" I command him again.

He jumps quickly to do my bidding, lying on his stomach, on his knees, only his lower body lifted up, I kneel before his delectable arse, tracing my hands across the smooth flesh, I part his cheeks again and slip back in again, sheathing all of myself deep inside of him, his muscles convulse around me, drawing me in, caressing me. I set us again in a wonderfully rough rhythm.

He begins to whimper and moan, his body shaking. I quickly change the angle of my thrusts, hitting his pleasure spot, just once in a while; to feel him jolt around me, tighten for me. Keeping him on edge, never knowing when pleasure will strike him.

He is openly crying and begging me to finish him now, so I take pity on him, and aim towards that bundle of nerves deep inside of him, caressing it ruthlessly.

And then he cums, the pearly white drops shower our robes, his tight channel becomes even tighter around my hard manhood and I cum quickly, feeling his muscles spasm around me.

I moan then, a deep shuddering breath, and collapse on top of him.

Our sweat mingles together, the chilly morning air, swipes at our heated bodies with cruel precision, we both shudder, I get off of him slipping free from his bruised body. He doesn't even grimace, a smile of satisfaction and exhaustion on his otherwise serene face.

And I still can't hope but wish he was someone else.

We both lie side by side, panting, feeling our bodies cooling down, the sweat drying off, with the wind's persistent attentions.

"That was unbelievable, you are an incredible shag. Wait till the rest of the guys hear about this. We were talking about it all week, wondering what it would be like to fuck you. We heard the rumors, you know?" 

My blood runs cold at his words, I knew this was just a fuck, but I knew nothing about the rumors, I didn't know everyone was talking about who I slept with or am sleeping with. Apparently some guys could not keep their mouths shut!

"Of course we had always thought you would bottom for us, not the other way around, but it was wonderful either way and I would like to do this again sometimes, how about Friday? I'm not doing anything important then, just this…"

He rambled on but I'm not listening anymore.

"Sure, whatever" I get up and start dressing, charming my torn and dirtied robes back to their former state of cleanliness and repair, I want to get out of here, suddenly the smell of our sweat and sex is revolting me, suffocating me, I need out, and now.

"I've gotta get back" I say, walking out not looking back, to see his face or to listen to any more of his rambling.

I can't go to our dormitories, just yet, I feel stupid, disgusted with myself and I want to wash his scent from me, I don't want to feel him on my skin anymore.

 But I walk outside first, my long legs carrying me easily across the grassy fields, and I soon find myself under my favorite enchanted apple tree. His long thick branches shade me from the sun, leaves sway gently in the cool breeze. I sit beneath its shade, leaning back against the trunk. Just relaxing, looking at the beauty of the sun washing over the green fields, watching Hagrid tend to a wounded unicorn, just outside of his hut, I wave at him, he waves back, a smile on his face.

I get up then and turn back towards the castle, knowing James would get mad at me if I didn't show, but I had to have a shower first.

First a shower then I'll be up to facing James and Remus. 

God, I wonder what they think of me, sometimes. Do they see me as everyone else does? Tarred by the same brush? I couldn't bare it if they did, couldn't carry on. I know it sounds stupid, but I could take insults from anyone, anyone but them. 

I enter the common room, quietly, running up to our dormitories, luckily unnoticed by them, as they are sitting huddled together their backs to the portrait.

I rush up the stairs and jump into our shower, quickly tearing off my clothes.

I grab the soap and start to wash myself, scrubbing furiously at my traitorous flesh.

I scrub my skin rough, trying to rid myself of the experience as well as the hurtful words, but I can not, no matter how hard I scrub.

I stop then, the water running over my reddened body, washing away the foamy remains of the soap.

A towel gripped tightly in my hands, I get out, and start drying off, walking back to our room. My eyes now catching the admiring and lustful gazes of several boys from my house that are currently in the hall. How could I not have seen this? How could I be so stupid as to think no one saw my actions? that no one knew just because it was done in private?

There was no privacy in a boarding school.

I lower my head and shut the door to my room behind me, dressing quickly and then running downstairs to join my friends where I feel safe, protected.

They welcome me back with a knowing smirk, but say nothing. Remus' hazel eyes looking hurt and angry, the silver in their depth outshining the gold crest.

I feel worse than before, to know I hurt Remmy, which I knew I would. He hated what I was doing, hated the crowed of young guys around me, hated that I didn't care who I slept with barely knowing more then their names.

He always told me I grew up too fast, and that I'm playing a dangerous game, a game for adults and that one day I might feel the burn of it.

And I know he is right, he is always right, but I can't help myself, I want this, I don't feel like a child with them, I feel strong, in control. I know I'm wanted, desired by them and the feeling is so addictive I lose all thought but the need to make them want me more, but I won't lie and say I don't enjoy the sex, I do.

I admit it now, I'm addicted to the pleasures of the flesh, I love to suck cock, to be fucked by one and to fuck guys, I enjoy it, lust after it and dream of it, I guess I really am the slut everyone thinks I am.

I just can't help myself.

With a final sigh, I sit next to James and they tell me all about their ideas, Remus is still silent beside me, but I can feel the angry tension in his body.

I sigh again and try to ignore my guilt as well as the wonderful feeling of his nearness, be he angry or not, I just want to be near him.

_~ James p.o.v ~_

there is no better feeling in the world, than flying through the air, the wind slashing at my face and body, my hair even more out of control than usual. 

Sometimes I fear I might get lost, just fly away, forget about quidditch, about the quaffel and just fly away.

"And Slytherin score, 60-80 in favor of Slytherin, you cheating scum... Um sorry professor McGonagall, it just slipped out" 

The voice of Lodmila Cassidy, a Gryffindor 4th year, breaks through the haze in my mind. Gryffindor losing? And to Slytherin? This was unacceptable.

It was the awaited and dreaded Saturday; we are finally playing against the Slytherins.

I plunge downward on my broom, stealing the quaffel from Leonard Bay, the Slytherin chaser, while dodging a bludger sent my way from Timothy Goyle, the Slytherin's stupid beater, he missed me but the bludger didn't miss Leonard's ugly face, bringing him down to the ground.

I laughed at their idiocy and flew straight at their cowardly keeper Craig Avery, who shivered at the look of fierceness on my face, almost backing away from the rings, I score easily, mocking him with my gaze, and thanking him loudly.

"Gryffindor scores 70-80, still in favor of the slimy Slytherins. Honest Professor I don't know what is coming over me, maybe someone cast a spell on me?"

I laugh merrily as I once again posses the quaffel, I'm being chased by Slytherin's three chasers now, I quickly faint them, by turning left and then right, before doubling back, passing the quaffel to Janine Cartwell, my fellow chaser. She rushes towards the rings and scores.

"Gryffindor score 80- 80, it's a tie! Huh! I told you, you can't win! Take that you filthy dungeon lovers! But professor you know it's true?"

Twenty minutes later we were leading 100-80 to Gryffindor, when I heard Lodmila announcing the end of the game. Katherine Sylvan, our lovely 3rd year, seeker had caught the snitch.

"Sylvan has the snitch! Game over, Gryffindor wins! You hear that you slimy cheating losers! Gryffindor wins!

"Control yourself Ms. Cassidy or you will no longer commenter on the quidditch games." Professor McGonagall's harsh voice could be heard through the speakers while she chided Lodmila, but I am too happy to care! 

I land on the field gracefully, bowing before my admiring fans, before being jumped at by my team and squashed in a group hug, as well as suffering Pierce's long speech about how hard work pays.  

Finally I'm able to look up from the pile of human arms and legs that surround me to meet the eyes of my three loyal friends standing together just a few yards away from me, waiting to congratulate me.

I break free of the various embraces and walk towards them, my mind now firmly set on joining them, celebrating with them.

"You were wonderful as always" Remus compliments me, a beautiful smile on his handsome face, his eyes bright with excitement, he pats my shoulder fondly, I can already see the silver in his eyes dominating the hazel, the wolf is coming, only one more night to go before the full moon is upon us again.

"Oh, James, you were magnificent, absolutely the best!" next is Peter, he is talking animatedly, telling me about all the terrific moves I made, before hugging me tightly around the waist.

I break loose from Peter, turning towards my beautiful Sirius.

"Well at least you didn't fall on that skinny arse of yours. Were you day dreaming again?" he scolds me, a teasing smile on his luscious red lips.

"Maybe just a little?" I reply, trying my best to look sheepish but failing. We both laugh then and suddenly I'm engulfed in his strong arms again, I sigh and wrap my arms tightly around his back. 

He whispers softly and quietly in my ear, so no one else can hear.

"You did really well today; I can't believe how amazing you are"

And I blush, trying to hide my flushed face in his firm shoulder, feeling the muscles in his strong arm tightening.

It is now a day after the quidditch game, Sunday, the night of the full moon is almost upon us.

I walk into the great hall, with Sirius by my side as always; I'm being congratulated and complimented, hands patting my shoulders, lips kissing my cheeks as my wonderful 2 female partners in quidditch come up to me, to compliment my excellent game.

"Oh James, you were absolutely magnificent"

"Yes he was" both Katherine and Janine, my female team mates, gush.

I smirk down at them, catching Sirius rolling his eyes in mock disgust, as he walks away from me towards our table.

But he doesn't make it there; instead he is stopped by a group of three lads, three Hufflepuff lads, known as john Blacksmith, Terry McCoy and Foulard Jackson, they are all 7th years.

I can see that they are talking, but Sirius doesn't seem to like what they are saying, the three lads are oblivious to his discomfort and continue on, one has the nerve to touch Sirius, his hand is caressing Sirius neck, massaging it lightly, instead of relaxing and leaning back towards the misleading comfort, Sirius stiffens in his arms, pushing away from them all, and trying to make it to our seat. 

I see that Remus had also noticed the three lads and has already gotten up from his seat, making his way towards Sirius.

I kiss both Janine's and Katherine's cheeks fondly before excusing myself and rushing towards Sirius' aid, the rush of boiling anger in me, surprising me immensely.

Both Remus and I arrive together to Sirius' side, pushing away the three lads; they walk off confused, not before calling him a tease and a whore.

I want to rush towards them and beat them into a bloody pulp; I can see from the corner of my eye, Remus, also meaning to follow them, a look of unrestrained rage, transforming his handsome face to the terrifying image of the angry wolf I had encountered a total of 4 nights, in the past four months.

I know his emotions are high strung this close to the change, he is irritable and quick to lash out in anger, feeling tired yet restless, and this month is no different.

Sirius grabs both of us by the back of our robes.

"Don't even think about it, it's not worth it." he states clearly, but I know he is hurt, I can hear it in his tone, the trace of sadness, in the lilting harmony of the velvety voice. I turn to stare into his beautiful purple eyes, which forever seem to amaze me with their enchanting depth; I can see his beautiful soul, see his emotions reflected back at me, and I see the truth in those eyes.

I know him, like no one else can ever know him. There is a part of him that belongs to me, forever.

"I want to hurt them, siri, I can't help myself" I whisper quietly, just for him and for Remus' ears. Remy doesn't say a word, simply nods, his features still stained red from his rage.

"Leave it alone, I'm going outside, I lost my appetite" he says, before turning around and walking out of the great hall.

Remus turns to me then. "You better go after him, to make sure he is alright, I'll keep Peter here."

I nod my agreement and rush out of the great hall, hoping to easily spot Sirius' retreating form.

Luckily I spot him immediately, just a small figure leaning against that damned apple tree he loves so much. His black blue hair shining even brighter in the morning sun.

I make my way towards him hurriedly, calling out his name.

He glances up at the sound of his name.

I'm panting when I reach him; he smiles at me sadly, before telling me I'm completely out of shape if I pant at such a short run. 

I stick my tongue out at him and we both laugh at my immature behavior.

"So tell me what happened? Why did they circle you like that?" I ask straight to the point.

"I don't know." I can tell he is lying, because he lowers his head.

"How long have I known you? Five years now, right? And you still think you can fool me?"

I say jokingly, a touch of seriousness in my voice, letting him know I'm not really joking, no. 

"I heard something a few days ago, James. Remember last Sunday when I left with Jeffery from Gryffindor?"

I nod silently, waiting to hear what he has to say.

"You know what happened between us, right?" 

I nod again; it was no secret to any of us, what Sirius was doing, though we all disapproved of it.

"Afterwards he started rambling on, about how he and his friends talk about me, about fucking me, then he told me that they were all interested to know because they heard rumors about me, about what I'm like. James, how could I not know? How could I be so stupid to think I could just do whoever I want and nobody will know about it? Am I really that naïve?"

"No, it's not true Sirius" I protest immediately.

"I wont deny that I had heard the rumors but I didn't want to say anything, it is nobody's business what you do, right? And besides I thought you were just ignoring them, which is why I never brought it up."

"You knew? And you didn't say anything?" he becomes angry now, his hands clenched into fists, his eyes now stormy with dumbfounded rage.

"I didn't want to hurt you, so I didn't say anything, I'm sorry I thought you knew"

I apologize, hoping that my explanation will calm him down, it did the opposite.

"How could you not tell me? All this time I'm the talk of the boys' locker room, and you never said a word? How could you?"

He gets up now, his body standing tall and stiff, shoulders set in an unrelenting pose.

"I thought it will all blow over, and it would have if you could control your raging hormones." I shout at him, losing the tight rein over my temper, when I feel he is no longer listening to me.

He glances up at me, his purple orbs reflecting the anguish he feels at my hurtful words.

"You think I'm a whore? Is that what you're trying to say?"

The rage in me melts away at his anguished words, the realization that I could really hurt him right now, that whatever I might say could affect our friendship forever, woke me up, like a splash of icy water. I knew I had to choose my words carefully.

"No, I never said that. You know I wouldn't say that. I just don't know why you do this, or maybe I do, and I don't like it. I don't like what Cameron did to you, I don't like it that you sleep around, neither does Remy, you deserve more. Why do you sell yourself so short?"

I had to say those things, I had to let them out, they had been suffocating me for months now.

We both stood facing each other but looking anywhere else, but into the other's eyes, the only sound around us is that of the whistling wind and the chirping of far away birds flying through the pale blue skies.

"You are right, I know that, I know you worry about me, but you shouldn't. I… I can't change the way I am. Cameron didn't do anything James, besides opening my eyes to a new world I didn't even know existed. I know you want the old me back, but he is gone James, there is only me now. So you can either accept me as I am, or let me go" 

He looks into my eyes then, and turns away, walking back into the castle. 

I'm standing here many minutes after he has left, wondering to myself.

Was he right? Am I really hanging on to a part of him that is no longer there? Has he changed so much right before my eyes?

No! I would know, I still know him, I still understand him, but I also comprehend his words now. He has changed, not a lot, but enough, enough for me to notice, and I failed to notice, didn't want to. But now I do.

I run back inside the castle, up the stairs to the Gryffindor dormitories, and that's where I find him, lying on his bed, the curtains closed, but I can see his left leg dangling down, now touching the floor, the same thing he used to do when he was younger.

I approached him, loudly so that he will be aware of my presence. I mean to pull back the curtains but he beats me to it, his deep soulful eyes bore into mine with fierce determination that almost paralyzes me with its strength.

"I'm sorry, you were right"

We look at each other, a small smile playing at the corner of our mouths. 

"I'm sorry too" he says.

"Well, come here, you great lump." I tell him laughingly before we embrace each other, arms holding tightly, never wanting to let go, but there is nothing sexual about it. It's not about sex, it's about friendship.

We break apart gently, brushing non existence specks of dust from each other's robes, while avoiding looking straight into the other's eyes.

"I'm hungry, let's go and eat" I try to coax him into coming, after a few minutes he relents and we return to the great hall, sitting in our reserved seats.

Remus tactfully doesn't say a word, just piles our favorite foods onto our plate, smiling happily and chattering amicably with all of us.

Peter remains oblivious to the earlier incident, which helps us all to pretend that nothing happened, which we of course take advantage of.

_~ Sirius p.o.v ~_

He is following us around again, I saw him as soon as we left the great hall this evening. 

His black eyes stalking us, wherever we go, like another presence in the room.

James refuses to believe that he is trailing us, no matter how hard I try to prove to him that our secret is in danger of exposure.

Perhaps I need to take care of this myself.

So I decide to approach him.

"I know what you're trying to do"

"Really? And what would that be?"

"You're following us, you better stop, or else."

"Or else what? You'll jinx me? I'm not afraid of you Black, and where is Lupin? Did he finally gain enough sense to dump your mud blood whorish arse? I do realize it's too late for Potter or Pettigrew, but I had such high hopes for Lupin."

For a moment all I see is red, as I contemplate, painful ways to eradicate him. I'm already up to hanging him by his toes and scrubbing acid all over his slimy figure, watching as the acid slowly disintegrate his youthful body, wiping away that despised smirk, when suddenly an idea comes to me.

Just to scare him, make him afraid to tangle with us, marauders, I tell him.

I tell him all about the shrieking shack, the tunnel and how to get passed the whomping willow. 

Let him meet the wolf face to face. That will teach him to mind his own damned business.

_~ Severus p.o.v ~_

Black is a complete idiot, it took me less than two minutes to have him spill his beans.

And now I'm making my way to the whomping willow. It's so dark out here; I can barely distinguish where the school's grounds end and the forest start, but I dare not light my wand. 

It is forbidden to be outside this late and if I'm caught I will surely be expelled, and I honestly can't bare the thought of returning home from school, expelled.

My father will never forgive me for disgracing the family name.

I stand before the whomping willow, it's branches swinging madly much like a drunk fighting for balance, and I find myself hesitating to come any closer, I did hear the tale of Davey Gudgeon who nearly lost an eye because he tried to touch the trunk of the whomping willow, and I like my eyes just were they are.

Maybe I should just forget it; it could be a setup orchestrated by Potter & Co.

I use a stick to touch the base of the trunk, the tree becomes still. I guess he didn't lie after all.

I see the tunnel at the base of the tree and I decide right then and there to move on. I have to know, the curiosity alone would kill me.

And so I climb in.

_~ Sirius' p.o.v ~_

Oh god! What have I done?

If he dies it's on my conscious, worse what will Remus do if he found out that I caused him to take a life? He will not recover from this.

And the ministry might try to kill him, no matter that his father is the head of magical creatures department, once Remus will take a life, he is as good as dead.

I have to tell James, he can fix this, he will know what to do.

I rush into the Gryffindor common room, where I find James and Peter already packed and ready to go on another adventure.

"There you are, well? Let's go, Remus is waiting for..."

"James, I did something very stupid"

I hastily interrupt him, watching as the excitement is washed away from his attractive face to be replaced by worry.

"What did you do?" he asks quietly as though afraid of the answer.

"I told Snape how to get to Remus; he is on his way there now. I only meant to scare him. I didn't think..."

I can't even finish my sentence before James starts to yell, and though I understand his anger, I can't help but selfishly fear for myself, for the friendship we share.

"DAMN RIGHT YOU DIDN'T! I CANT BELIEVE YOU! Well, let's go stop him, now!" 

_~ James' p.o.v ~_

"I told Snape how to get to Remus; he is on his way there now. I only meant to scare him. I didn't think..."

For a minute there, I stopped breathing. I think my heart might have skipped a beat, but then my anger took over me, and I couldn't keep my self-control, couldn't believe Sirius would do such a horrible, dangerous and stupid act.

"DAMN RIGHT YOU DIDN'T! I CANT BELIEVE YOU! Well, let's go stop him, now!" 

No time to think of the consequences when both Remus and Snape are in danger.

I rush out of the common room, running as fast as I can towards the whomping willow, behind me I can hear Peter's agonized breaths, and Sirius' steady strides as we run together.

Nothing else occupies my mind but getting to the whomping willow and stopping Snape before its too late. Before life as we know it is over.

_~ Severus' p.o.v ~_

I'm walking into the shrieking shack, quietly, making sure not to make a sound. 

The shack looks exactly as I imagined it, broken furniture, dirt and cobwebs.

The full moon's beams slither inside through the cracks from the nailed shut window. 

Everything seems to come alive at the touch of the moon's rays.

And then I hear it, a growl, a deep inhuman growl.

I turn around slowly, my heart beating furiously, my senses telling me to run, but I'm too paralyzed to move, my muscles become tense as lade, yet I cannot move.

I remain frozen not daring to believe what is right in front of me.

_~ Peter's p.o.v ~_

I have never been so scared of anything in my life, as I am right this second, I'm rushing down the stairs following James' lead, on a mission to rescue Severus Snape, can you believe that? James' mortal enemy.

"Peter, go get Dumbledore, now, its flubber gum this week!" 

I don't even dare to object and we part by the third floor (the floor where Dumbledore's room resides) while he and Sirius rush outside as fast as they can.

"Flubber gum" I say quickly, staring at the door, as it slowly opens, trying to appear somewhat calm, while I'm thinking up a likely story to explain it all.

I race inside as soon as the door opens enough to allow me safe passage and race up the stairs.

I halt quickly as I suddenly realize that professor Dumbledore is awake and sitting at his desk, his blue eyes twinkling up at me, a questioning look on his knowing face, and I blurt it out.

"Sirius told snape how to get inside the shrieking shack, he has gone to Remus"

_~ James' p.o.v ~_

"Idiot, reckless idiot" I mutter under my breath as we reach the whomping willow, Sirius is a silent shadow by my side.

The tree is frozen, which to me can only mean that there is still hope for everything to be saved, he had just entered the tunnel, otherwise the tree would have gone back to its swinging ways.

I waste no time getting past the tree, into the tunnel, racing inside the shack.

"OH MY GOD!"

That is Snape's voice, he must have seen moony, as predicted the yell is followed by a murderous growl. 

Moony had found a worthy prey tonight, and he saw nothing but blood before him. I had to do something.

I jumped in, Sirius' scream of horror haunting my entrance, but I had to try.

_~ Severus' p.o.v ~_

Oh... My … god.

I had began to tremble, could not think straight. And who can blame me? Before me stood a fully grown silver spotted wolf, I knew immediately it was Lupin, but I could not laugh at my stupidity, all I could do was stare, frightened beyond belief.

It is moving towards me now, in small measured steps. His mouth open, baring the frightening large fangs, a constant growl ringing through the small stuffy shack.

My eyes staring at the ember eyes of the boy I knew, not a touch of humanity left to ascertain me of Lupin's existence in this body. I fear even more.

I have to run or I am going to die. That is a certainty.

It was a setup! My mind was railing inside of me. They tricked you, they want to kill you, you have to run, you have to save yourself. 

They will be expelled and you... a hero!

The rage that boiled within me roused me enough so that I could quickly enlist the aid of my legs in running.

I ran towards the door, from whence I had entered. The wolf was fast on my heels, almost on me.

In my paranoia I swore I could feel his scolding breath attacking the back of my neck, which made me run even faster.

The growl became louder, he was getting closer.

I could not hold the scream of terror that burst forth from me, I gave them the satisfaction of knowing that they had scared me, but now is not the time to deal with my new shame, my weakness.

"OH MY GOD!"

~ Peter's p.o.v ~

Dumbledore walked as fast as he could beside me, his usually sunny countenance now cold and stone like.

As cold as the freezing night time breeze.

And then we both heard the scream.

"OH MY GOD!"

We glanced at each other in apprehension and raced as fast as we could.

We arrived a few minutes later, to find James' sprawled on the ground with Snape lying beside him, both panting and shocked. Beside James sat Sirius a look of anguish aging him beyond his 15 years of age. 

No one said a word for a minute, before all hell broke lose.

~ James' p.o.v ~

I saw him, running towards me, Remus on his heels, he saw me and almost stopped a look of such fear and loathing on his face, I felt almost willing to give my life for his, only to not see that look again, ever.

I pulled him when he meant to stop, my arm grabbing him by his wrist and I dragged him with me as fast as possible outside, moony still growling fiercely in our ears, his cruel breaths tracking our flailing limbs.

And then Snape slipped, his body almost falling, almost stopping.

The mere thought of stopping even for a brief millisecond scared me beyond belief. I pulled him up before he could fall. Pushed him in front of me and continued shoving him, only one target lay before me, one goal, to reach the end of the tunnel, to reach the whomping willow, safety.

Something had struck my left shoulder hard, almost disturbing my balance, ripping pieces of my school robes. A burning pain traveled through my bruised shoulder combined with a trickling fluid, crawling down my back and waist.

I dared not stop, I ignored the pain, the end was near, I could already see the full moon shining bright, sparkling through the cloudless skies.

The world was euphoric; I almost succumbed to the feeling of calmness that spread through me and the first whip of fresh cool air, only to jerk awake from my delusions by yet another growl, so near, its vibrations traveled up my left thigh. Moony was closing in on us, we rushed faster, our lungs near bursting from the agony of our panted breaths, but safety is so near.

We manage to reach the tree just as it begins to move, watching in fascinated  relief as the wolf, encountering the now alive tree, backs off towards the shack with a final growl. 

I collapse then, Snape beside me and we pant softly. I can't believe what had just happened, my mind too tired to even attempt to comprehend the painful recollections of tonight's horrific tale.

Professor Dumbledore arrives on the scene.

_~ Sirius' p.o.v ~_

"They tried to kill me! They were all in on it professor, he is a werewolf! He tried to kill me!"

The walk to Dumbledore's office was done in complete silence. In fact we haven't said a word to each other since James' miraculous save, and Dumbledore's timely arrival on the scene, but I knew things could only get ugly from here, and I deserved it, I was to blame for everything. 

Should James, Peter and Remus choose never to speak to me again, I would completely understand.

We sat quietly for a few minutes before, Snape finally overcoming his emotions had started screaming.

For once in my life I actually felt bad for something I did to him, he may be a greasy git but he didn't deserve this.

The note of panic in his voice, and his overgrowing hysteria made me flinch in sympathy. 

I hate what I did! Despise myself for it.

I looked at James sitting on the far end of the room, for once since we have known each other; he wasn't sitting next to me, he wasn't even looking at me. His handsome face set in a tight cold expression, which I had never before witness, it seemed he was simply simmering in fury, slowly building up his rage, which I knew for sure I will feel the burn of it when we finally return to our rooms.

He didn't look at me at all, his body turned completely towards Dumbledore, Peter sitting silently by his side, where I used to sit.

And then finally a thought occurred to me, what will become of me?

Surely Professor Dumbledore will expel me, right?

What would I do? Who would have thought that in a few seconds I had nearly gotten my worst enemy and my best friend killed, as well as putting my other werewolf friend in inconsiderable danger, all the while breaking about a dozen school rules which will ultimately land me with expulsion?

I am an idiot, but I will soon be an expelled ex-potentially wizard back to the ordinary muggle world, left with nothing but my memories of the best time of my life, without my best friends in the world. 

Oh god what will I do?

"Mr. Snape, you must calm yourself" admonished professor Dumbledore before he turned to us and asked how it all began.

"It was me professor, all my fault, they had nothing to do with this" I replied quickly before James or Peter could think of a new version of the story.

"I told Snape how to get past the whomping willow, I just meant terrify him that's all, I didn't think he might get hurt, I'm sorry."

"What happened then Mister Black?" Dumbledore asked me, his voice quiet yet firm, his angry eyes, trained on me, no longer twinkling in merriment.

"I realized what I had done, I ran to James and told him, and then Peter went to call you Sir and me and James ran towards the whomping willow, hoping to stop Snape, but we were too late, and James jumped in and saved him"

I was rambling, my mind so tired yet anxious, but I was too terrified to even consider sleep.

Silence reined again, before professor Dumbledore, quickly sworn Snape to secrecy, by threatening him with expulsion for violating a cardinal school rule, no leaving the castle past curfew on the night of the full moon.

The wrath in Snape's face was terrifying, he turned his accusatory gaze at me, and I couldn't even flinch, I deserved his hatred more than ever before.

Snape and James were then dispatched to the infirmary, to ensure they had come to no harm, though I could now see the vicious looking cut on James shoulder, the claw marks staining his robes, leaving them in tatters across his back and left shoulder. He left. Not looking back at me. 

Peter was sent moments later to our dorms, and I was left alone to face Dumbledore's wrath.

I breathed deeply, and raised my head to look at Dumbledore's cold and rigid face, squaring my shoulders I decided that whatever happened here tonight I will bare the consequences and take responsibility for my own foolish acts.

"What were you thinking Mr. Black?" he asked softly.

"I was angry Sir; I don't think I was thinking at all." I replied honestly.

"I'm going to have to punish you severely, you are aware of this right?" 

"Yes sir, I wish to ask sir, what will happen to Remus? Won't the ministry have to get involved? What if they kill him sir?" I was rushing ahead of myself; the full implications of my stupidity finally became clear to me.

"Calm down Sirius, Mr. Lupin is safe."  A rare smile of understanding gracing his aging features; suddenly I realized he will not live forever. As a child since I had known him and had spent many days in his office, I had always thought of him as this eternal being, it's frightening to realize he is as human as me.

"Thank you Sir, I had better go to my room and start packing, I expect I will be leaving tomorrow morning." 

I stood up, a deep sadness filling my heart, weighing me down, but I walked to the door anyway, ignoring the burning pain in my heart.

"I'm not expelling you Mister Black, I will punish you severely but I will not expel you. I believe it will be such a waste, but mostly I believe you meant no harm, you were just not thinking straight, which is quite common for you Mister Black, quite common indeed."

Tears had begun pooling in my eyes, I wasn't being expelled, I could stay!

The joy in me at this revelation warred with the deep sadness and dread at having to face my friends soon to account for my horribly unforgivable actions.

"Thank you professor, it means so much to me to be here" I admitted tearfully, looking everywhere but at him, my head lowering to the floor in defeat.

"As for your punishment, you will serve detention every day till the end of the year with Professor Dale. You are also banned from all school activities, including Hogsmead visits till the end of the year. I think it will not be wise to take any points from either Gryffindor or Slytherin for it will make the students wonder, and that I wish to prevent, that will be all. I fear that no punishment I can give you will compare to the admonishment you will suffer at your friends' hands. For now I suggest you get some sleep. Report at Professor Dale's office tomorrow at 6pm." 

I nodded softly, my mind already on the dreaded conversation with my friends.

I walked up the stairs to my room, amazed that the world seemed so unchanged, I thought it would all be different, that the event that has changed my life, will leave some impact on the world around me, but it did not. The halls were as dark as before, the air still smelling of sweet melting wax, from burnt down candles, the sound of my feet on the stone floor, were as loud as before, the world didn't change, but I did.

_~ Remus' p.o.v ~_

Something feels different, strange. My body ached so much since I first woke, that I feared moving, I was sure I had broken a few bones, the scent of my own blood pounding into my tired senses.

Something bad had happened, my pack did not show, the wolf had taken over again, this time I had no recollection at all of last night, nothing except a worrying sensation, a blood hunger so fiercely that I knew I had a prey, I had a human prey in my vicinity. It must have gotten away or this blood lust would have been assuaged.

I breathed in pained relief, the person that I had been after, is still alive and well, since I had bitten only myself.

Suddenly I felt a presence in the room with me, someone was occupying the bed next to mine, I looked at the figure lying in bed, covered with a blanket from head to toe, only a bush of unruly black hair could be seen from under the bundling mess.

I recognize the messy hair immediately, James.

But what was James doing here? Is he injured? 

I tried getting up but I couldn't, I felt the skin of my new patched wounds stretch painfully, my bones ached, I was sure if I took one step I would collapse, I had no strength in me.

"James! James!" I called, but the black haired head would not stir.

"Oh James, please wake up, tell me I didn't hurt you, oh god please!" I was becoming hysterical, which must have roused James from his deep slumber.

"What? Oh Rem, I'm up, how are you?"

Only James could lie in the hospital wing beside you and ask you how you are doing. I looked at his now reclining figure, searching for any visible injury, I saw it immediately, a white bandage was wrapped around James' left shoulder, his eyes stared at me blearily for a few seconds while he assessed my injuries.

"You look really bad Rem"

"I feel it too, what happened James? Did I hurt you?"

James sighed deeply, his face turned away from me, but I could sense a deep sadness in him, it was visible through the sudden droop of his proud shoulders, the proud head, lowered as well, a grim look on his strong features.

And then he looked up, the sadness in his eyes knew no bound and he began to speak, telling me of Sirius indiscretion, betrayal, saving Snape's life, getting scratched by me, everything.

I was in a daze, this was not real, Sirius would never betray me like this, never. But he did! He did! He put my life at risk; he betrayed my trust, my love.

But I could summon no anger just a deep unrelenting anguish.

Our conversation came to a halt at Madam Pomfery's entrance, she checked on James first, assessing his condition and soon deemed him well enough to return to his classes.

I watched James quickly dressing, and leaving, his sad eyes trained on me, sending a silent message, we will talk about this when all is well again, his eyes said. But nothing will ever be well again. Sirius, my beautiful Sirius had betrayed me.

I wanted to cry but I couldn't, not in front of Madam Pomfery. She was talking to me, telling me about my condition, broken leg, arm and a rib, bitten my wrist raw, she said. I wasn't listening, my mind locked inside a whirl of anguish. I was to stay here for at least another day, she said.

That was good; I feared having to face him so soon, with my heart bleeding so profusely in my chest, the ache so much more profound.

I felt too vulnerable, but too in love, and I knew that should he appear now with a plate of food for me and an apologetic sad look in his eyes, I would forgive him, he will need not say a word, I will forgive him.

I had to be away from him, to cry, to bleed to feel the anger in me simmer and boil to a bursting point, so that I could defend myself, so I would have the strength to face his beauty and hold fast to my resolve, this betrayal can not be undone with the mere loveliness of his god-like features.

And then I cried, my mouth biting down on my blanket so I will make no sound, the tears already pouring from my tired eyes, staining my cheeks, my lips, and the blanket, clutched tightly between my lips.

I cried for hours it seemed, I could not stop, my heart felt broken, completely shattered, but I loved him still, and for that I cried even more. Stupid, foolish me, to be betrayed yet locked forever in the spell of love I felt for my betrayer.

And all I could think of is black blue silky locks, sun kissed skin, deep purple eyes, and a sunny smile between full red lips. Sirius, my lost love.

_~ James' p.o.v ~_

I hadn't spoken to Sirius all day, I knew that we would have to talk about this, that if we didn't the anger and pain in me will consume me, eat me alive, but still I waited patiently for Remus' release from the infirmary.

It took another day, but Remus was released that late afternoon.

We all met in our room, Sirius included. 

The silence stretched painfully on, as no one knew what to say, was it the end for our friendship? I hoped not, it was even more painful to bear.

Sirius sat far from us, on his bed, while we all stood next to Peter's bed, on the far corner of the room, and then Remus spoke, his voice full of pain and astonishment, as though he could think of nothing else but this pain, it was so deeply rooted within him, that he could only speak softly, voice barely overheard above the loud rumble of hungry students rushing towards dinner.

"You betrayed me. I trusted you and you put my life at risk, I almost killed snape and James, because of your recklessness. Did you even care? Was I nothing to you? Our friendship nothing?" 

He demanded, his voice icy cold, his eyes, burning with liquid fire, scorching his eyes. All the attention in the room turned towards Sirius' who was still sitting still, his head lowered, gaze locked on the floor, he said nothing, not even an apology, he seemed defeated, which made my heart ache further.

"Answer me! Look at me! I need to know this" Remus demanded, his voice rising with his anger.

He looked up then, tears streaming down his golden cheeks, his purple eyes, so dark they seemed like empty black holes in his face, long lashes, so dark they conflicted with the unhealthy glow of his skin beneath his deep golden tan.

"I didn't mean it, I'm sorry, I didn't know, didn't think" he was rambling, his mind not really with us.

I knew that Dumbledore had not expelled him, but his punishment was quite severe, as Peter had heard from Sirius himself last night.

Sirius looked tired and drawn, almost haggard, his beauty even more pronounced by his staggering grief.

He had not slept since it happened, had not eaten, I worried for him, but I knew I could not let my love for him interfere. What he did was unforgivable, but I knew we would forgive, how could we not?

Remus remained silent then, the sight of Sirius' tears disarming him, Sirius rarely cried if ever, and to see him in such an uncharacteristic way, was too hard to ignore, too difficult to remain angry.

And so Remus opened his mouth again, his voice soft but sorrowful, as he told Sirius of his decision.

"I think we should keep our distance for a while, not speak, maybe we can move forward after this, I don't know, but right now, the pain of what you did, Sirius, is just too great for me to easily forgive, you almost made a killer out of me, my worst nightmares, almost came true, with the aid of the lad I was sure was my best friend. So I think it will be best to let it go for now, to stay away for a while." He finished with a deep sigh, and I knew I would back him up, as much as I love Sirius I could not simply ignore this incident.

That it put a dent in our friendship? Sure. That it was broken forever? I hoped not.

"I understand, I will move my things to another room by the end of dinner."

He said, with such immense sadness, and defeat, that I knew he was blaming himself, torturing himself inside his head, and I knew being away from us, will allow him to sink further, but I couldn't bring myself to stop him.

Dinner that night, was a deadly quiet affair, Sirius hadn't bothered showing up at all, though both me and Remmy looked anxiously at the entrance, waiting until the meal had ended, the dishes cleared away, but still he did not come.

When we arrived to our room, all of Sirius' belongings were gone, he had moved out as promised, the room, now bore no mark of his presence, not even a faint breath of his sweet, yet masculine scent.

I sighed, and sat down on the now made bed, that no longer housed Sirius' wonderful warmth and beauty, even the covers no longer carried his unique odor. It was empty, much like the side of his room, now seemed.

There were no shoes carelessly tossed around, no clothes covering his side of the room, no prank materials and dribbled scrunched up papers, of new ideas for pranks, or cute doodles littering the floor.

I fought away my tears, feeling Remus' comforting weight next to me, as he sat down by my side, his hands pulling mine into his lap, simple holding them gently, I knew he felt my pain, I could feel it vibrating from him.

We sat there for many minutes, not saying a word, but I knew there was only one horribly disturbing thought in our minds. 

Was this the end of the marauders?

God I hope not.

Well that is all, I hope you liked it, please review, I live of your kind words of wisdom. It also really helps my ego, so please be kind enough to drop me a line.

Next in Of Beauty: rumors, a very interesting party, a new love interest for Sirius, the end of the school year, and will the marauders finally reconcile? All of that and more on the next chapter of: Of Beauty.

Must warn you though it will be R for a reason.

I'd also like to thank those of you who took the time to review:

Shadow Shi13- lol, don't worry the chapter is still here. I'm really glad you liked the love triangle between James, Remus and Sirius; I was worried it might not go down very well.

Thank you, I hope you will continue to review, even if it's only praise, I definitely need it!

Elena Marie-don't worry Sirius and Remus will be together soon, though I can't promise that they will not have a hard time, I am an evil slash writer, am I not?  J

Cymbul- a new reader? Wow, I'm honored, and you cut right to the chase, all I can say right now, is that if you want to know why Sirius was screaming, you should look for the clues I left in previous chapters, the answer will appear in later chapters, but the hints can be seen in these chapters.

Hope you will enjoy this chapter as well, and I hope you will review and let me know what you thought.


	8. Adventures In Voyeurism

**Of beauty ****– by FunkyCharms21**

Disclaimer: I own nothing it all belongs to the wonderful J.K Rowling!

Summery: the life of Sirius black- from 4th year in Hogwarts, this is a **slash** story with multiple partners (my characters) and eventual Remus/ Sirius. Told from many different points of views.

Warning: very graphical sex scene and underage sex, if you are too young or sickened by the thought of two men together in sexual situations, leave now!

Rating: R (very graphic/under age sex)

**Chapter 8 – Adventures In Voyeurism **

"Oh my god! Did you hear about the maradures?"

"I heard Sirius turned them all into mice as a prank, you know? So they won't talk to him now."

"I heard he slept with all of them, and lied to them, said they were the only ones"

"That's a likely story, he is such a slut! Martin Higelbow from Hufflepuff said he slept with almost every 7th year in all of the houses!"

"No way! Really?"

"I heard he slept with Snape and dumped him, that's why he hates him so much!"

"That's why the marauders are mad at him, they must have found out about it!"

" I heard it had nothing to do with that, it was because he dumped them all in the forbidden forest without their wands as a prank and James and Remus got hurt! Fred Plenary saw them both in the infirmary two days ago…"

_~ James' p.o.v ~_

I haven't talked to him in 49 hours and 55 minutes, 56 minutes.

The whispers sound vicious and vindictive to my pained heart.

I long to stand up in his defense, but my guilt holds me back.

How can I miss him so much, yet wish to distance myself even further?

I try to make sense of all that has happened, and I find myself lacking, we all are, lacking, that is.

The halls of Hogwarts seem dull and colorless without his charismatic presence.

Remus walks by my side in faithful silence, my quiet solace.

Transfiguration never seems more tedious and uninspiring as today.

McGonagall's strict voice carries over me in flowing rivulets of water, falsely lolling me to promised sanity.

This is madness. He sits but a few seats to my left, head bowed down over his books. Luscious black curls, protectively guarding his soulful purple eyes.

I had never seen him so still, so quiet; he seems almost like a statue, his beauty pain wracking and sorrowful, but not real, lifeless.

I can't help but stare at him, coaxing him with my mind to meet my eyes, to smile at me, beautiful full red lips, stretch to allow white even teeth, to show, to sparkle in the sun.

But he doesn't look up, his stare is almost dreamlike, as he glares pointedly at the book on his desk, his long elegant fingers, trace across the open book's pages, a perfect picture of studious bliss, but I know better.

The bell rings, we are excused to lunch, but I can't bear to face the whispers, the rumors, they make it all seem so real, so final. I don't want it to be final, I go there anyway.

Remus' comforting presence guides me, his strong hand on my shoulder, gently squeezing. Peter scurries behind us, his excited chatter hurts my delicate ears, his voice sounds so shrill in my quiet existence.

But I remain silent.

_~ Sirius' p.o.v ~_

Did I hear the rumors? Yes I did, but surprisingly I can't bring myself to care.

I've been called names, degraded, insulted and judged, all behind my back.

To my face, they say nothing, they touch me, hug me, pester me with fake smiles of false sympathy, I wish to drown away, but I'm on steady land.

I walk like a shadow through these halls, I can't smile. Can't think, it's hard to separate what is real and what is trickery.

Were James' eyes on me this morning, or am I imagining?

I must be, but that pale blue stare is so well known to me, so familiar. 

I walk to my dorm room that I now share with several 5th years from various houses 2 from Ravenclaw, 1 from Hufflepuff and another from Gryffindor, all rejected from their houses and I feel anonymous in this room.

They know nothing of what has happened; only what they hear from the careless whispers traveling the school, they condemn me with their eyes, but I feel secure. They don't know the depth of my betrayal; their accusing looks hold no power over me.

There is freedom in that, for which I'm grateful.

"Just so you know I don't believe any of the rumors about you, but I'd love to have a chat with you, you can tell me anything you want.."

It's a day later now; the rumors have reached all of the school, from first year to the last of the faculty members.

The approaches begin. First a nosey fifth year girl by the name of Penelope Brosweather, with phony understanding to hide her gossipy nature, tries to wring the truth from me, but I brush her off. 

Then by more lewd suggestion, from the horny male population of Hogwarts that consists of surprisingly a frightening amount of 6th to 7th year Slytherins.

I decline them all.

The group of horny lads, is followed by none other then seemingly caring Hufflepuff girls, all on a crusade to save my tortured soul, I feel close to bursting when asked for the million times in this hour alone, whether I feel I need to talk.

Had I made such a bad reputation for myself that I am now by this reputation judged?

I had began to miss meals, just to avoid sitting in the great hall, the staring, the pointing, the vulgar remarks, don't bother me, the distance I must keep from my friends does. To sit at the edge of the Gryffindor table, where once me and James had claimed the middle, hurts beyond measure.

To watch my friends laugh from the sidelines, no longer a part of pranks, jokes and foolish secrets, you know you will treasure to your grave, but it is no longer mine to keep, this pain is weighing me down.

Sleep evades me more often now; nightmares pursue me in my fitful slumber, so much that I fear sleep more than my overwhelming exhaustion, more then staying awake to face another day.

Where there were Remus and James to calm and sooth there is no one now.

I recall nothing of what I had dreamed, nothing but snakes and green lights. At times, I fear my sanity wavers upon the edge of a knife, all but a touch shall tumble me blindly over the edge, and I know not whether I wish it or not.

And so I mourn, no other word can describe my pain better, but I can't bring myself to hate them, not even at gunpoint, and so I hate myself instead. I loathe my recklessness, my lack of control, and wonder at my arrogance, my self assured idiocy, but I never doubt their claim, never doubt their pain and my guilt in causing it.

The week has finally ended and I had done my detentions under Professor Dale's watchful eye. Yet no manual, degrading assignment I was ordered to do made me feel better, I had not yet served my punishment.

The weekend arrived and with it brought me a blessed release. I had nowhere I needed to be, no classes, no detention, I didn't have to face anyone, the thought brought me so much comfort I was amazed at myself.

And so I found myself at my regular thinking spot, leaning against the sturdy trunk of my favorite apple tree, buskin in it's shaded warmth, it's strong branches shade me protectively not only against the sun, but against the outside world.

I spend hours lying on the moss covered ground, my eyes glued to another book, a quill in one hand and a blank parchment in the other, as I work on completing my homework and extra chores I received as part of my punishment.

The hours pass so quickly, the sunset, leaving in it's passing a cold damp wind, that rudely lashed at my under clothed body. I shiver at its relentless assault, but I cannot bare to leave this haven for the cold halls and recriminations I know awaits me, and so I stay, my quill scratching continuously on my parchment as I finish essay after essay.

I missed my meals, my growling stomach alerts me, but I still refuse to leave, my homework lie finished on the grass-covered floor, but I still would not budge.

The stars sparkled at me from their heavenly perch in the sky; the moon now no more than a thin line in the atmosphere, shrouded the ground with blue streaks of light. I cuddle closer to the ground, letting the comforting warmth loll me into sleep. The hour is late.

I was walking through a village, it was unrecognizable to me, but it was burning, the smoke stung my eyes, filled my throat until I could do naught but cough. 

_The fire ate and consumed the little houses, painting the remains black._

_No living thing lingered to walk through the burned destruction, none but me._

_I could feel a presence around me, something powerful but so evil. A sharp coldness had invaded my body, stealing away the warmth of the fire. I knew the cold was not of my own make, not of my fear, it was that entity._

_I swiveled around trying to locate it, but all I saw was fire, surrounding me, circling me, the smoke rise again making me cough, my throat sore already, my eyes tearing._

_And then I saw it, I didn't know what it was, I turned away, but it was everywhere, controlling the fire around me, encouraging it to rise against me, to devour me._

_The fire changed suddenly to form a face, a snakelike face, the fire crackling around the face was an unnatural green._

_The snake-like face raced towards me, it had black sinister eyes, and a toothless mouth, I opened my mouth to scream, as a hand made of green flame reached towards me..._

I was being shaken to wakefulness but I feared to open my eyes.

"Sirius, wake up, you are dreaming"

I jumped at the sound of Dumbledore's voice so close to my ear, my eyes opened in a frightened hurry, seeking around me the green flame, the burned village and the snake-like face. I found none.

"Professor, did you see it? The green flame? The snake-like face?"

For a minute Dumbledore said not a word, his ageless sparkling blue eyes trained on my own wary gaze, before he spoke.

"How long have you had this dream, Mister Black?" his voice was soft but demanding, I found myself answering before I had even contemplated his question, much less my own answer to it.

"Several months now, sir, but.."

"But?" he questioned quietly. Should I tell him?

"But I have always had these nightmares, not always about the same thing, but always when I'm in Hogwarts, sir".

He stared at me then, his look calculating, I had never seen him look at anyone thus, and so I took a step back from him.

He smiled at me sheepishly then.

"Go to your dorm room, Sirius, and do try not to fall asleep outside at night, you don't want to break more school rules, do you?"

"No sir, I won't do it again."

"Good."

I left hurriedly, the coldness that invaded me in my dream, still clung to my now fully woken body.

I turned back to see Dumbledore standing exactly where I had left him, his head upturned towards the night sky. I left.

I walked into my dorm room quietly, trying not to wake my roommates. 

Groping my way to bed through the thick darkness of the room, I ran straight into a solid warm body.

"OH"

I couldn't hold back a yelp of surprise.

Suddenly, the candles in the room sprung to life, I jumped back, feeling surrounded by flame looking for the snake-like face with it's green flamed hand, there was none.

Before me stood a shamefaced house elf, he wore a dirty plaid blanket, whose colors had long since faded into dark smudges of unrecognizable stains.

"Nomry meant no harm young sir, Nomry was sent to give you this sir"

I looked down at his hands; he was carrying a tray with steaming food, a glass of fresh pumpkin juice and a bottle of some sort of potion.

"What is all of this Nomry?" I asked politely.

"Headmaster says you must eat it all and drink potion, then go to sleep, sir, he said to Nomry to not leave until you do. Nomry will never defy headmaster."

"I see." I said sitting down on my bed, I sighed and than looked up at Nomry's big brown eyes, my stomach growled protesting at the enticing smell of well-cooked chicken with steamed vegetables and mash potatoes.

I gratefully took the tray and laid it on my knees, thanking Nomry quietly, asking him to please sit down. It seemed stupid for him to stand and wait for me to finish eating, and also highly uncomfortable for us both.

His big brown eyes looked up at me in surprise before he sat down on the ground, I invited him, to sit on my bed, he looked at me hesitantly before moving to sit by my side.

I devoured my meal and thanked him; I hadn't realized how hungry I was until after I had finished my meal.

I drank the potion he had given me wordlessly, before thanking him and curling into the comfort of my strange, new bed.

A warmth filled my body instantly, as I suddenly yawned deeply, my eyes drooping quickly until it became a struggle to keep them opened, in mere seconds I knew no more.

_~ Remus' p.o.v ~_

The anger in me had not yet dwindled away; I cling to it in desperate need, the rage keeps my anguish at bay, protects me from the cold harsh reality that threatens my sanity. 

He could not have meant to hurt me; I know it to be true.

I miss his warm sunny presence around me, by my side. I miss comforting him after a night of haunting nightmares, his warm shaking body, wrapped tightly around me, his sleepy intoxicating fragrance, creating a circle of comfort around us, as he slowly drifts back to sleep in my arms.

I miss waking up to look at his bed, each morning, as his stark white pillow, graced with the sun's early rays, shone, with glittering black-blue flame that was his silky curls.

I miss everything that is him, his quirky sense of humor, his indescribable loveliness, his fake bravado that hid his vulnerable inner beauty.

I barely see him now; he no longer eats at the great hall, no longer studies in the library, and no longer shares a room with us.

I had heard the petty whispers, and my heart had raged and ached at the acute viciousness of my peers, but I could not say a word, and for that I ached even more.

The day began as any other day, another morning without my sun god by my side, I looked across at his empty bed, hoping against hope to see a flash of blue flame, but there was none.

I got up and followed the slumped figure of James Potter, my dear friend that suffers as much if not more than me, behind us trailed Peter, his mind already consumed with breakfast. I knew I would not eat a morsel of food today.

We sat at our regular place, in the middle, the seat next to me, remained empty, in waiting for Sirius' return to us.

James' eyes as well as mine lingered on the entrance door all through breakfast, in hopes of catching a glimpse of the tall form of our lost friend. He never showed up.

The day continued in it's dull and monotone course. We went from class to class, catching mere glances of grief stricken purple eyes, broad slumped shoulders, and bitten red lips. 

He sat apart from us, at the side furthest from us in each class, he disappeared each time as soon as the bell had ringed, and it was on to the next class.

The day ended swiftly, but I could find no comfort in the mere glimpses of him, I needed to feast my eyes on his beautiful form, to memorize every dimple, every little shade of color that covered the surface of his eyes, every twitch of muscle in his body. To commit to memory, his sweet sensual voice, the sultry way his strong body moved, I had to keep his beauty and charm alive in my heart.

The urge to see him grew on a daily basis, until not even my rage could hold my heartache at bade.

And so I went to search for him, to seek him out at his favorite hiding place, beneath the charmed apple tree, near the forbidden forest, and I found him there instantly, only… he was not alone.

_~ Peter's p.o.v ~_

Was I regretting the sudden break up of the mighty marauders?

To tell the truth, no!

One might ask me why I feel no remorse or acute sadness even?

I find it important to say I had never felt mighty nor a true marauder in all my time spent in Hogwarts.

To live ones life from one praise to another, is a life of emotional roller coaster, I longed to be let off the ride.

Without Sirius' charming presence I had a place in this group, I was a person.

You see, Sirius steals the breath away from everyone, sucks the air from my existence, and he can't be blamed for it, really.

But I have a place here, now, with him gone, James is mine, and there is air for me, there is still breath for me.

So I don't hate him, I just resent him. I resent how he caught their hearts in his greedy but elegant hand, I resent being shoved to the sidelines by his magnificence, but the catch is that the same beauty blinds me. I am distracted by the same aura he releases into the atmosphere.

I had tried once, only once to compete for his affection, but his sharp mind and unchallengeable intellect had pierced through my attempt. He left me floundering behind, clutching at imaginary straws, and I clung to James even more.

And so the marauders stay divided, and I breathe freely of air charged with the sweet fragrance of freedom, and I feel no remorse.

And so I walk beside them, my chatter light-hearted and carefree as I cling to James with a new confidence that I only now am able to know.

And for that I refuse to feel remorse. 

Who are you to judge me?

_~ Sirius' p.o.v ~_

And so I sit here again. Ever since I had first fallen asleep beneath my tree and consequently had my run in with Dumbledore, my faithful companion Nomry has continuously delivered my meals to me, each morning, each noon and each evening.

The only being aside from the faculty and a few stray souls, who looked at me as a human being, a teenager, even. But I was not mocked for my weaknesses, nor frowned upon, and I found myself nearly weeping for joy at the ignorance I faced.

I sat beneath my tree in relative peace, as much as I could muster in this horrid situation I had placed myself in. but a shadow had now appeared before me, blocking the sun from my face, disrupting my serene world.

Annoyed, I looked up into the smiling face of Matthew Beaker, brown eyes twinkling merrily.

He sat down by my side, silently; I looked at him, a sour look of expectation on my face, as I waited to hear him say what I had heard from many others before. 

I waited for him to offer sympathy, or perhaps a well-deserved shag that will "make me feel better", but none came.

"How would you like to sneak into Hogsmead with me to an exclusive party being held by none other then milioner Heyworth Perkison Oddment the third. It's the best party, it has booze, hot lads and plenty of good music and food, are you game?"

He looked at me, his gaze piercing me with conviction, I couldn't say no, but I tried to anyway.

"No, I really shouldn't I'm in enough trouble as is, I don't want to add more to it. You go, have fun!"

"Oh no you don't! This is just what you need! What else have you got to do, but be all sad and gloom? I won't have beauty such as yours marred by sadness, and so you are going, I will pick you up at your dorm room tonight at 10pm sharp, your detention will be finished by then, and you will have about 45 minutes to dress up and look gorgeous. See you tonight, don't be late!"

And with these last words he kissed my cheek warmly and left. I found myself trembling with a lust I had never felt before, it wasn't a sexual lust, it was a human lust. A lust for contact, human contact.

Until Matthew had kissed my cheek I had not realized how I missed the ordinary, loving human contact I was so used to receive from my friends. A mere hand caressing my head gently, massaging my scalp. A warm hug from James for no apparent reason, Remus' comforting touch through my troubled nightmares, his kind eyes and sweet voice lolling me back to sleep, as my body lay cradled in his warmth.

I yearned for that contact, but it was now denied from me, so I knew what I had to do.

I would sleep with a guy tonight, nothing serious, of course, but just for the touch, that's all I want, to feel cherished by another human being. 

That's all.

"Are you ready Sirius? We have to go!"

Matthew was already pounding on my door, luckily my roommates were all in the library cramming for a test in transfiguration, I on the other hand, had no need to study, and I had no assignments to complete, I was free to go out and have a good time, provided of course that I won't get caught leaving or returning from said party.

"How is that? Do I look ok?"

I turned around to look into Matthew's deep brown eyes. He stared at me, his mouth agape, his eyes raking over my nervous form.

I knew I was good looking, of course, but I had never been to a party like the one I was expected to come to, tonight, so naturally I knew not whether I was dressed accordingly.

I had decided to wear my festive dark blue robes, with even darker blue trimmings. The robe in question was surprisingly tight enough to mold itself to my figure, yet I could move quite freely.

Another advantage in this particular robe was that it made my purple eyes stands out more and was much easier to take off quickly, if the situation called for it, of course.

Matthew shook himself out of his revive with a soft cough. I couldn't control my laughter at the look of dream like fascination and lust that clouded his chocolate brown eyes.

"You.. Um.. You look really good Sirius, I mean it! Very good!"

I chuckled softly at his stammering answer, before tucking a lose curl behind my ear and leaving my dorm room, with him in tow.

We arrived twenty minutes later, we meaning Matthew, me and three other 6th year Ravenclaws that I knew were close friends of Matthew.

The house were the party was held, if it could be called a house at all, more of a mansion, laid at the very end of Hogsmead, which of course involved the five of us walking all across the village with nothing but our thin festive robes to arrive to the mansion.

A fifteen-minute walk later, we arrived at the tall black gate that guarded the "house" in question.

We stood uncertain at the gate, before Charlie and Kaiser had taken it upon themselves to enter, mainly because we were all freezing and anxious for some adventure.

The gate would not budge, not even when all five of us used our considerable strength against it.

"Great! What now? We go back to Hogwarts?" whined Terry, a lock of platinum blonde hair falling into his wary gray eyes repeatedly, while he pushed it off, only for it to return to its rightful place, over his face.

"We are not going back! I did not freeze my arse to get all the way here without enjoying the party, so if Muhammad won't come to the mountain, the mountain will definitely come to Muhammad."

Kaiser stomped off in a rage, towards the annoying gate, that was the only obstacle in our way towards warmth and a good time.

"Open up now you accursed thing!"

None of us expected it to work, magical artifacts rarely respond well to anger and reproach. So imagine our surprise when the gate opened before us slowly but surly?

We stepped past the gate cautiously, almost sure the gate will slam shut while we were still passing through, it did no such thing.

The path we now walked on was unpaved and uneven; leading straight to the party we searched for.

We arrived swiftly at the doorstep of the mansion that I could now see was even larger than the one the commune and I lived in.

I had never seen a mansion as big as this one; it was more of a palace than a mansion or a house.

The mansion was dyed in a soothing cream color, the property surrounding the 8-floor monstrosity, was green and lavish, the intoxicating scent of jasmine in the air mixed with the scent of ripe apples, created a heady aroma that combined with the cold night air, supplied us all with a deep sense of intrigue and excitement, I felt seduced by my green surroundings.

The trees swayed to a rhythm of their own, a mesmerizing dance of branches and leaves, as though the whole magnificent garden was designed for a purely hedonistic pleasure.

The trickle of fresh water reached my ears suddenly, I trained my watchful eyes to the left side of the garden as before our eyes, the old, dirtied fountain sparkled with shining bright lights, water now streamed freely from it's faucets, creating a small waterfall of bright colors and cool water.

The garden around us was littered with candles, adding to the seductive aura of the Eden-like paradise we found ourselves in.

The wide doors of the main entrance opened for us expectantly, the sharp chatter of people conversing broke through the sensual haze I plunged into in the garden.

My companions and I walked inside the house, watching as the doors closed behind us firmly, I couldn't help but feel utterly seduced, ravaged by the aromas of jasmine and apples, the soft clinking sound of glasses as several unknown people raised wine filled flutes into the air and toasted the splendor of this night.

I agreed full heartedly with them.

I looked around the expensively decorated room, a ballroom, on the far side I could see the band of violinists, a pianist and several other musicians, from trumpeters to guitarists, playing dedicatedly and with no respite. 

Music flowing from their strong instrument like water from the rusty old fountain, the sound clear and pure, adding it's own bewitching quality to the already captivating ambiance.

The east side of the room was laden with tables groaning from the weight of the deliciously cooked food.

The food in itself was an aphrodisiac, not even Hogwarts holiday feasts could surmount the lovely scents of grilled meat, fried fish, both spiced with seasoning I could not pronounce much less recognize, as well as bathed in different sweet tasting sauces.

Potatoes baked with sugared yams, onions, and various vegetables, cooked and stewed

Followed by chocolate cakes, marmalade toppings, strawberry delicacies, I didn't know, but their deliciously fresh taste and juicy flesh caused me to moan helplessly at the mere thought of taking another bite out of this sugary pastry.

My companions dug into the offered delicacies with eager enthusiasm, pilling food on top of several plates, before scurrying off to find a sit where they could peacefully devour their own riches, in semi privacy.

I followed suit, less exuberant, but thrilled none the less.

I sat at a chair off to the side, quietly enjoying my meal, while looking out at the room before me.

The expensive furniture, chandeliers and tapestries, did nothing to me, if anything I preferred the seductive beauty of the garden outside, but the cold weather had forced all sane people inside, to bask at the warmly lit fireplace.

The room as I quickly noticed, contained no women at all, or any older man, for that matter.

In fact I would go, as far as to say that no man above the age of 25 was present in this party.

That seemed quite odd. But then perhaps this is what some would refer to as a gay party.

For some reason I felt relived to be surrounded only by men, especially when the purpose of the party soon became clear, as I watched several "couples" leave the dance floor, wrapped in each other arms, lips locked in a passionate embrace, tongues tangling fiercely in a battle as ancient as time itself.

The couples quickly retreated to secluded areas, far from observant glances of their fellow partiers.

My companions hastily finished their sumptuous meals and joined the dancing mass, each hooking up with a very handsome man.

And I say men, because we were the youngest guests in this party, and I still had no idea how Matthew knew of this party, much less got invited to it.

I watched as one by one my companions disappeared, their handsome escorts in tow.

Matthew's piercing brown gaze locked with mine, across the crowded dance floor, he flashed me a cheeky grin, before disappearing up the stairwell leading to the upstairs bedrooms, a gorgeous tall blonde in tow.

I took a deep breath and decided that tonight I will do whatever I wanted to do, and not have to worry about people watching me, pointing, gossiping, I would not be judged.

I had just stepped onto the dance floor and was immediately flooded with suitors, one of them was a tall dark haired lad; he looked to be 18, which I found more reassuring.

His hair was ebony black, much like James, his eyes a deep shade of hazel, much like Remus.

But he was nothing like them, the look in his eyes was so different from theirs, when he looked at me, he didn't see my betrayal, he didn't think me unworthy, he found me desirable, beautiful even, and I so needed that.

To have someone want my company again, even if all he wanted was my body, there was no guilt to be felt over this matter.

He asked me to dance, I agreed.

My arms wrapped around his thin waist, before sliding down to cup his arse.

He looked up at me, a knowing smirk on his face. 

He told me his name but I didn't listen, didn't care.

The musicians played a soft, slow jazz song, I had never heard, but the music was so soulful, so poignant, that the air I breathed held an even stronger fragrance of vitality, exhilaration, and so I kissed him.

I pressed my sure lips against his surprised pair.

At first he stayed completely still, stunned at my boldness.

But then his soft lips opened under mine, I wasted no time slipping my tongue past his parted lips, into the slick warmth of his mouth, his eyes drifted shut, quickly followed by my own.

My tongue explored his mouth in a leisure pace, as I tried to drown into him, into his strong yet pliant body, I wanted to bury myself inside of him, so I could never feel any coldness again.

My kiss was unhurried and masterful, until he couldn't help but gasp against my mouth's insistent assault, the breathy sound vibrating through me, until I moaned at the sheer desire that coursed through my veins.

The touch was so comforting, so human; I felt like weeping, I was not nearly as strong as I thought myself to be. Normally that would have upset me deeply, but right then in his arms I couldn't care less.

As long as my mouth was on his, my tongue plundering him senseless, the world could disappear to oblivion and I wouldn't care.

We broke apart breathless, our foreheads gently touching, eyes fluttering open carefully, pupils adjusting once more to the blearing light of the thousands candles scattered around the ball room.

"I don't know about you, but I could use a stiff drink right about now!" 

His amber eyes stared into mine with such intense passion, that I could feel my own lust and want heighten; my face suffused with blood, my body hardening beneath my dark blue robes.

"I think I'd rather have something more stiff in my mouth than a drink" I replied, keeping my voice low and sultry.

Had James or Remus been here, they would have laughed at my lame line, I might have laughed with them as well, but they were not here, I reminded myself, focusing once again on the handsome stranger I already kissed once tonight and was looking forward to kissing again and doing much more before the evening came to it's inevitable end.

His gaze became glassy with desire, his eyes locked on my kiss-bruised lips.

When I caught his gaze on my mouth, I immediately slid my agile wet tongue across my swollen lips, moaning softly at his lingering masculine taste.

He groaned deeply then, his lips crushing against mine, stealing the breath from my moist lips.

His lips ruthlessly attacking mine, nibbling on my lower lip, until I moaned brokenly against his assaulting mouth. 

My lips already felt so sensitive, so swollen, it made me fell wanton, lustful, one might even say sluty?

We broke apart abruptly.

"Stay right here, I just want to get one drink. Please stay!"

I nodded wordlessly, watching him scramble through the crowds, towards the bar that stood next to the refreshment stands.

I glanced about me, meeting several heated looks from the couples on the dance floor, but there was one gaze that I could feel was different from all the rest, the glance was so intense, I felt as though I was being stripped bare of all my defenses, left to flounder through the murky waters by myself.

I was so unnerved by the mere feeling of the heated gaze that I felt compelled to seek out the cause of this disturbance, I found him instantly, he stood out in the crowd of vibrant young men dressed in fancy robes in every color known to men.

But he was different; he was older than all of them, he looked to be in his mid-thirties, his hair a deep honey color, already graying on the sides, his eyes were amazingly moss green. 

Strong hawk like features, soften only by the uncanny glint of desire that gleamed in his green pools.

The air around us crackled with awareness, I shivered in fright, not expecting to feel so drawn to a man more than twice my age, but here I was now, feeling the same lust I felt a mere second ago with my anonymous new admirer, or was I feeling something else now?

He stepped closer towards me, so I could see how richly dressed he was, the aura of strength and assurance was so palpable that I quickly summed up that he was the master of this house, he was none other than Heyworth Perkison Oddment the third.

He was now walking towards me, his strides sure and confident, as though he knew that whatever he would ask of me I would welcome.

I didn't realize how tall he was until he reached me, stopping a mere two steps away from me, he was at least a good six inches my superior in height.

I felt like a child before his shrewd gaze, I flushed in embarrassment, not daring to meet his expectant stare.

His hand reached towards me then, a strong, well-manicured palm caressed my cheek reverently, before tracing my swollen red lips with his fore finger.

My lips parted of their own accord, I could feel his finger slip past my parted lips, tracing across the soft heated flesh of my lips.

His finger tried to slip further inside my mouth, but the arrival of my previous admirer, quickly brought the shocking incident to its bittersweet end.

"Sorry it took so long, but I'm back and ready for something a bit more stiff, what do you say to a lovely walk outside, to see the wonderful garden?"

He winked suggestively at me, unaware of the incident that took place a mere second ago.

I nodded wordlessly, my blood already warmed from my encounter with the eccentric milioner, my eyes still glued to his retreating form.

I turned away from the disappearing figure, trying to calm my racing heart, but the thought of having sex in that enchanted garden, with the intriguing reclusive milioner only increased my already racing heart.

And so I linked my arm with my admirer's and allowed him to guide me outside, but I could still feel that piercing gaze on my body, shivering I turned back once again, countering the man's purposeful gaze with a defiant one. 

I turned away from him and refocused my attention on my new escort's warm body and strong physique.

He walked me behind the huge mansion, leading me towards a wall that sealed off the land from view.

The wall was covered with green vines, which had already filled with pink blooms, their fragrance sweeter than the jasmine scent; I closed my eyes and inhaled their heady perfume deeply.

He slowly turned me towards him, pushing me back against the wall, his hand already tangling in my hair as he sought to bring us closer, to press our heated mouths together, I complied quickly, ravishing his lips with mine, our teeth clinking against each other, my hand already in his short black hair, caressing his scalp encouragingly.

I spun him around, pressing his robe covered back against the wall, my hands busy opening the fastening of his robes, my tongue plunging between his moist lips, dueling with his tongue, sucking the tormented flesh into the warmth wetness of my mouth. Before retreating to suck the soft flesh of his lower lips between my own swollen lips, I nibbled on the abused flesh; raking my teeth across it, only to release it completely and plunge my tongue back inside of his hot cavern.

His festive robes soon slithered to the ground, followed closely by his briefs; he wore nothing else underneath his robes.

He shivered in my arms not only from the crisp night air, but also from the desire that enflamed his body.

His strong hands were already working on the fastening of my own dark blue robes.

Sliding down my warm chest, caressing, patting, exploring, my flat stomach, my taut nipples.

I bit my lip softly, trying to stifle a moan as he tweaked a pert pink nipple, twirling his long fingers around the little aroused nub.

The soft fabric of my robe caressed my trembling form as the wind lashed viciously at my exposed back and calves, while the robe slithered past my ankles to the grass covered ground, next to my soon to be lover's robe.

We had both stopped kissing, leaning on to each other's warmth while we took off our boots, craving the feel of the cool grass beneath our bare feet while we embraced.

Boots thrown off in haste, a smirk of mischievous naughtiness upon our swollen-kissed lips.

Our eyes met in a mixture of amusement and desire, inflamed lips meeting again in a fierce kiss, breaths mingling as our tongues tangled playfully, the kiss powerfully melting any thought of propriety from our lust driven minds.

Warm hands caressed, pinched, teased every inch of trembling flesh, creating a blaze of desire in its wake.

I wasted no time, attaching my lips to his neck, sucking and licking at the length of the proud column of flesh.

He sighed deeply in my ear, offering more of his strong neck, to my questing tongue, but I had already lost myself in his warm chest, my mouth traveling downward, following my curious hands, licking across the broad chest, the hardened tips protruding from beneath the black hairy mast that covered his torso, past the muscled stomach, down the "happy trail" towards his hardening member, jutting proudly upwards, strong and slick. I caressed it reverently between my fingers, stroking gently over the warm skin, feeling it swell and thicken in my gentle grip.

He moaned, his voice low and guttural, the harder I stroked, pulling me towards his lips, tongue pushing past my parted lips, sweeping across my moist lips to ravage my bruised mouth.

I broke the kiss, dropping down on the grassy floor of the garden, wasting no time; I began licking the twitching hard flesh.

I heard nothing, saw nothing but him, sliding in and out of my mouth, his thrusts became harder, deeper with each passing moment, hips jutting forwards, propelling himself deeper into my mouth, but I was beyond coherent thought, not caring whether I gagged or not, as long as I could feel something, some warmth, some human contact, I cared for nothing else.

I slowly broke contact and rose to my feet.

We kissed again, more demandingly, my lips crushed again, until the soft flesh throbbed faintly from all the abuse it had borne, but I cared not.

He broke the kiss softly, reaching into his discarded robes, he pulled out his wand, leaning back, he preformed the necessary spells, lubricating his tight body generously with lube, and then repeating the charm on my own hard length.

He leaned back, sighing as the night's cool air, chilled his heated body, closing his darkened hazel eyes, while balancing his body against the stone wall, one leg propped on my shoulder, exposing his body to my questing eyes and hands.

My fingers, stroked his hardness, a few times, before inserting one finger inside of him.

I started to trust my finger quickly adding a second finger, stretching and scissoring them inside, before curling them upward, searching and pressing on the delicate nub of nerves, hidden deep within.

"Oh" 

He gasped, panting softly, his warm breath tickling my expose neck.

A third finger joined the other two, until he groaned deeply, demandingly.

"Take me already, I'm prepared" 

My fingers slid out unhurriedly, feeling as he twitched with anticipation and need, but I moved at my own pace, leaning into him, his leg, now higher upon my shoulder, exposing the gaping hole to my view, I grasped my hard member in my hand, positioning it against the cleft, impatient he pressed against me, attempting to force me inside, but I chuckled quietly, pulling away just enough to deny him his desire.

He sighed with frustration, a blazing golden glare holding my amused stare.

And then I leaned back into his warm embrace, thrusting inside of him with one hard thrust, feeling the walls of his rectum constrict around me, until I could no longer hold my own moan of pleasure.

It rose out of my body, carried upon the exhaled breath that burst through my swelled lungs, joining my lover's own cry of satisfaction.

I lingered no further, pulling out only to hurriedly thrust back inside, bumping into that small bundle of nerves buried deep within my raven-haired beauty. 

My hand reached for his neglected erection, stroking him, before with an ear splitting cry he climaxed in my hand, spilling himself across his stomach and onto my hand that still pumped the softening member.

My lips crushed against his again, my tongue imitating my own thrust inside of him.

I was already close to my own climax, but suddenly something felt wrong, I could feel eyes upon me, I lifted my head from my lover's bruised neck, my eyes widening with shock, my body stilling as I looked into the calculating green gaze of Heyworth Perkison Oddment the third.

I waited for him to acknowledge me, but he did not, for long minutes I did nothing, refusing to move within my companion's warm embrace, aching for completion, that I feared granting, not while that shrewd but lusting gaze was upon me.

He was hidden in the shadows so only I could see him, my companion could not, but he was not hiding, merely staying out of sight, he did not cower behind a bush, nor did he blend with the earth, no, he stood quietly, observing the occurrence with a dispassionate glance, but the heat of his glare belying the off handed expression.

My impatient companion, began pumping his hips, attempting to draw me back into the forgotten rhythm, I felt the pain of my halted orgasm, propelling me to move again, but I could not tear my eyes from the still figure.

A few more hard thrusts and my eyes closed, my mouth parted as I cried out my pleasure into the cold night air, my body blazing with hot fire, almost incinerating me alive, my orgasm more powerful than ever before, as I climaxed deep within my lover, while the irritating green gaze burned my back with a cold flame of reality.

I slumped against my companion's tall figure, my body still shuddering from the aftermath of my powerful climax.

A strong wind slashed at us, reminding us both that the whether outside was too cold for outdoor activities, much less nude activities, we parted quickly, my eyes automatically drawn to the spot I had seen the eccentric milioner last, he was no longer there.

In that surprising second, I almost believed his appearance had been nothing but a mirage created by my lusting mind, but the intensity of the gaze could not have been a fantasy, that I knew.

I dressed in my robes quickly, not glancing at all at my companion, as he had by now already finished dressing and took his place before me.

I was startled out of my revive by his warm lips, kissing me softly, not attempting to deepen the kiss, simply caressing my lips with his.

And then the gentle touch was gone.

"That was wonderful, thank you, I do hope we will meet again, but before I leave, tell me your name, my fair beauty"

I laughed quietly, whispering in his ear, I told him my name.

"Sirius"

And we parted forever, I never asked his name.

_~ Remus' p.o.v ~_

Enough is enough! I could take this no longer; the pain of Sirius' absence had already outweighed the pain of his betrayal.

I forgave him, I knew but I feared that perhaps James hadn't, and I did not know how to approach the subject.

I missed him so much, I felt crippled.

I had never felt crippled in my life, not even with my accursed disease, but Sirius made me feel whole, life was brighter with him around.

The sky was a light blue, the birds sang, all was right with my world. 

He has this aura of life and light, and I feared living in the shadow, he was my guiding light, my strength.

The days wore on, mingling into each other, all the same, their monotone routine, sickened me, devoured me, I almost longed for the full moon to arrive, simply to break this routine, to break me away from this pain.

There was bliss in unconsciousness, the wolf for all it's fault, took away my awareness, and gave me peace of mind, amnesia of some sort, and though I feared it more than I could explain, I also longed for it now.

I needed the oblivion it granted, to not feel so much, so fast. Falling so deep into Sirius, as I had, and to now in the aftermath float without a lifesaver through the ocean's stormy seas, was destroying me, crippling me, I needed my lifesaver, my Sirius.

I looked about the common room, it was already past 2 am, I still could find no rest, my mind unbeknownst to me until now, had awaited Sirius' return to the Gryffindor tower, forgetting he no longer resided in it.

"What are you still doing up, Rem?"

James' worried voice broke through the hazy tired recollection of my jumbled mind, I smiled softly.

"I could ask you the same thing, Jamie." I stated.

"I couldn't sleep, Rem, I keep thinking about this rift between us, trying to make sense of things, but it hurts so much to stay away, Rem, I never thought it would feel so bad, so painful."

James broke down, I felt the same way. Relief poured through my broken heart, I could finally speak to James, try to make sense of this mess with him, and maybe, just maybe we could take back Sirius, become whole again.

I placed my arm on James tense shoulder in a show of support.

"I feel the same way James, I was afraid to say anything, but I feel I need to tell you, I want Sirius back with us, I want the maradures back. Punishing all of us had solved nothing, I'm not saying all is forgotten, but I think the rift should end, I don't want to feel lost anymore James.

I had been lost for such a long portion of my life, a wanderer, seeking a place to belong, but I found it and I'm not giving it up. That place James is with you, with Peter and with Sirius, here at Hogwarts."

I became silent then, fearing I had said too much, I was not used to spilling so much about my inner thoughts, my inner pain, Sirius would tell me that friends should hold nothing back from each other, but even he had failed the ultimate test, he had betrayed a trust. My trust.

I glared into the dying ambers of the fire still feeling the lingering warmth of the fire that blazed a mere two hours ago.

"I agree, Rem"

We spoke no further words that night, sitting side by side, watching the sun come up, the early morning skies painted with blues and pinks, fluffy white clouds, taking the place of deep gray rain clouds, the morning dew glistening upon the green earth, it was truly a glorious morning, and I was happy to share it with James, but even more I was resolved in my heart, relinquished from the impossible mock hate I had condemned myself to.

And it felt easy to smile, to laugh.

_~ Sirius' p.o.v ~_

I returned to the party, looking for Matthew and his 3 friends, when I felt that astute gaze upon me again, I turned around quickly, anger and disturbed lust rising in me in equal fervor, I hated his perceptive gaze, because it told me nothing of his plans, all I knew was that he desired me, but the sharp gaze he bestowed upon me was unnervingly secretive, I wished I could read his mine, simply to calm my racing heart, but I could not.

I walked off, trying to locate my companions, as well as lose sight of him in the mass of drunk, tumbling men that swarmed around the ballroom, but I was unsuccessful, in both ventures.

Finally I decided to face my tormentor head on, or simply to wait for him to approach me.

I stood next to the bar, a glass of Silphany red wine in my hand, sipping nervously from the delicate flute, my gaze searching for my tormentor's green eyed stare, I could not find him, it should have been a blessing, but instead I was disappointed, I had already decided to confront the matter head on, only to have him disappear, it did not seem fair at all, I pouted sullenly, sipping from the sweet tasting aphrodisiac in my twitching palm.

A strong hand seized my shoulder in a light grip; I jumped in fright, turning around quickly to face Heyworth himself.

My fright immediately turned to anger, my purple eyes flashing with resentment.

The old ogre had the nerve to laugh! He did look more handsome that way, his hawkish features softened, putting more emphasis on the delicate curve of his mouth, his green eyes appeared bigger and dominated his face, his jaw was strong, his nose straight and long, but I found him so appealing, arousing.

Which made my resentment rise to new heights.

"Why are you following me?" I demanded an answer, my voice no more than a harsh whisper, but I knew he heard me, loud and clear.

"why do you think? I desire you, I usually get what I want as you can see for yourself" he smiled predatorily at me, his hands caressing my cheek, forefinger tracing the fullness of my sore lips, I pulled away from his alluring touch, trying to control the rise of heat in my body.

He had done nothing yet, but already I felt naked, vulnerable, exposed.

But what terrified me most was that I enjoyed the feeling, I wanted him to control me. Was this really my secret wish? To know what it feels like to be at the mercy of another? Or perhaps I wanted to relinquish control, just for a little while, to hand my care over to someone else.

Like Remus had done, when he confided in us after a long duress about being a werewolf, he placed his life in our hands, his care in my hands, and I let him down.

While I was lost in my thoughts of control and trust, Heyworth's hands had traveled to my neck, caressing and massaging the tense muscles, leaning closer so he could whisper in my ears.

"come with me Sirius, give me control"

his demand was forceful, but done so manipulatively that I dared not refuse.

His large warm hand closed over my chilled nervous hand in a light grip as he tugged me slowly up the stairs, I followed numbly, surrendering to him, without struggle.

We climbed up the flight of stairs, only to climb another and then another. 

We stopped at the eight floor of the mansion, my breath now coming in gasps, as beside me he stood still, not even a bit out of breath.

We walked down a long winding corridor, there were doors lined in the corridor, but we didn't go through any of them, simply walking on.

My mind was in turmoil, both condemning me and pleading with me, but I could not break through this enchantment.

We walked on, while I contemplated how much the man and the house resembled one another, both enchanting but confusing, intricate and in both I was lost.

We stopped before a door, it was not unusual in any way, simply a wooden door. He reached towards the door handle twisting it to the left, the door opened with a soft click.

The room we entered was bathed with candlelight as well, and consisted of an old comfortable armchair, a writing desk and a huge king sized bed, complete with bedposts and silk black sheets.

But the most surprising thing was the naked young man that lay beneath the black silk sheets.

The milioner stepped towards the bed, the young male rising to an upward position to meet him, half way, they shared a sweet loving kiss, hands trailing over each others body with keen familiarity.

They separated gently, hands still clutching each other's hair, before relinquishing that hold as well.

The milioner turned towards me, his gaze sure and steady as he introduced me to his lover, for I had no doubt that they were lovers.

"Sirius, meet Conner, my love"

I smiled nervously at the naked young men. He looked to be in his early 20's, his hair was a deep chestnut color, the straight locks, framing his sweet heart shaped face, his lips were full and plush pink, eyes the color of stormy gray, yet they held such sincerity, such goodness, I could not help but compare him to Remus, though he looked nothing like him, but the emotions radiating from his turbulent eyes were so like Remus' beautiful tortured soul, and for that and that alone I loved him instantly.

The gray eyes met mine, an amused look in their fiery depths, he rose off the bed, his strong body smooth and hairless, not a stitch of clothing marred his naked beauty.

He stood before me, broad shouldered, muscled chest leading down to a flat stomach, thin waist and long firm legs.

"He is perfect my love" his voice was just above a whisper, sultry and aroused.

"I thought so myself, my heart" replied the milioner by my side with the same fervor.

Conner stepped even closer to me, our bodies only few inches apart, he caressed my cheek softly with the back of his hand, I inhaled sharply but could not move away from the warm worshiping touch, I found myself leaning into the unsolicited touch.

"His skin is so soft, so warm, my love, he is exquisite" 

He exclaimed, his voice tainted by the soft undercurrent of lust.

Warm lips pressed against the delicate skin of my neck, a hand threading through my hair, uncovering the nape of my neck, followed swiftly by hot kisses, rained upon the gentle patch of skin reveled.

I moaned softly, my left hand automatically tangled in the honey-colored locks of Heyworth.

My moaning lips caught in a fierce kiss as Conner's full lips crushed into mine, tongue pushing past my pliant mouth to ravage the welcoming heat within. 

Two pairs of strong hands busily worked on the fastening of the robe, I had just dawned back a mere fifteen minutes ago.

The dark blue fabric pooled to the floor, caressing my thighs in its wake, followed by two pairs of worshipful hands.

My lips bruised under the ferocious assault, but each time Conner made too tear his lips from mine, I strove to keep them there by any means, my tongue, my lips, my teeth.

Finally the need for air overpowered the need for contact and we broke apart, breathless and panting, I leaned back, my chest expanding with each deep breath I took, leaning against Heyworth's strong frame, feeling his arms embrace me from behind, propelling my body to move forward towards the huge silk covered bed.

We stopped when my knees touched the bed. He turned me towards him, my arms grabbing his shoulders for support as we finally stood face to face.

One arm held lightly to my naked waist, the other caressed my cheek, worshipping the silky texture of my skin.

"You are so beautiful, desirable" he whispered quietly, his mouth pressed to my skin as he spoke, the vibrations trailing over my cheeks, through my body, I shivered in his warm embrace, desire coursing hot and strong warring with my cautiousness.

"I want Conner to fuck you, I want to watch you and him on this huge bed, with the black sheets tangled between your sweaty limbs. I want that beautiful mouth around him, around me. I want to spend myself in your mouth Sirius, would you let? I bet you would look lovely on your back taking all of Conner inside of you. Can I watch? Would you deny me Sirius?"

He spoke so sexily, so dirty in my ear, his tongue flicking out to trace the shell of my ear, he chuckled softly as I shivered, flustered and aroused in his arms.

Tongue gently teasing my ear lobe, he whispered again.

"Will you deny me, Sirius? Just say yes, let us pleasure you."

Biting down gently on my ear lobe, I moaned helplessly. 

"Yes" I replied, feebly, my eyes staring straight into the depth of his moss green eyes. I repeated my answer again, this time with more self-confidence and control; I was no weakling after all!

"Yes"

I took no more time to ponder my actions, I had after all, allowed no one the pleasure of taking me, and I needed to feel that wonderful consuming possession again. 

Remus would say I am vulnerable right now and should make no rush decision, but I fear Remus sometimes doesn't know the real me. 

The real me is ruled by rushed decisions, as I'm sure both he and I, as well as James and Peter have all learned on our own flesh and blood, let us all refer to the Whomping Willow incident that occurred a mere two weeks ago, a prime example of my rushed judgment, wouldn't you agree?

 So why must I deny my own desire? My own needs? And again I make these reckless decisions, but I did learn one thing, I will never let my hasty resolutions harm my friends, ever again, I alone should bear the burn of consequences.

I lifted my head, my mouth opening in readiness, followed swiftly by Heyworth's groan of passion at my wantonness, his mouth pressing insistently against my mouth, his tongue, snaking past my full red lips.

Our tongues tangled and dueled in my mouth, until finally I sucked on his tongue, moaning my pleasure at the slick muscle wrapped in the tight folds of my tongue.

We broke apart, Heyworth, retreating to the comfortable armchair.  He striped off his dressy burgundy robe, the silk material slithering to the floor with a soft hissing sound and he sat down, watching.

My eyes traced his naked beauty, the hairy broad chest, the muscular built and powerful thighs.

I turned towards Conner, motioning for him to step closer to me, my gaze coy yet sultry. I was no longer the adolescent, self-conscious lad I was upon entering this room, I was now Sirius Black a master in pleasures of the flesh.

We kiss again, his sugary-sweet flavor undoing me inch by inch, until I'm devouring his mouth, ravishing the soft lips, only to move on to his neck, biting the delicate skin, then his nipples are assaulted by my agile tongue.

I circle the tightening nub, wetting it, blowing cool air on the heated surface, my hand twirling the other soft nub, while I torment the delicious tip in my mouth.

The other nipple soon falls under the same treatment; my human canvas' breaths become sharper, his heart racing, his body flushed and warm.

I move lower, already on my knees worshiping the naked beauty before me with my tongue, caressing from nipple to belly button, to his ticklish lower-belly, which I lave dedicatedly with my tongue. 

And lower still, a long trail of spit bearing witness to my leisure descent. My tongue, laps at the long smooth shaft, already hard, tracing it lovingly.

The warm body in my arms shaking and moaning, I look up from the hardness under my assault, to lock my eyes with my silent watcher.

Green eyes meet mine, scorching me with such aggressive lust, I moan without even touching myself, the powerful heat of his gaze warms my blood.

I smile at him coyly, opening my mouth wide to take in the full length of his lover, patiently relaxing when his hips jerk forward as he cries in both pleasure and surprise.

I start to moan around the smooth, hard flesh between my lips, my eyes still on the now agitated figure of Heyworth as he fidgets from side to side, already itching for his own turn.

I let Conner slip from my mouth with a loud pop, licking my lips carefully, tasting his musky taste. I coat my lips with spit, before taking in the hard organ again. Deeper than before, I swallow around the mouthful of flesh, hollowing my cheeks, as I begin to stroke him.

I quickly find a rhythm I like, sucking the entire length down my throat, then letting it slip from my mouth, followed by my eager tongue that lapped at the sensitive head, loving the radiating heat of the silky skin; I nibble on him, grazing my teeth gently on the underside of his firm flesh, before swallowing the whole mass down my throat.

A moan of uncontrolled desire reaches my ears, I look up from my self-appointed task, but it had not been Conner, who's whimpering mewls of pleasure, accompanied by the desperate way his hands clenched around the black silk sheets, warned me how close he really is to his climax.

A moan slipped unbidden from my occupied mouth when I glanced at the armchair, where I had heard the lustful groan a mere second ago, Heyworth was leaned back against the lounger, stroking and fondling his hard length.

Conner had started jerking his hips upwards pushing deeper into my mouth, the friction bruising the sensitive flesh of my lips, but I cared not.

I felt consumed and lustful, moaning wantonly around the hard member in my mouth. 

The thrusts became harder, deeper, Conner's whimpering mewls became keening wails of ecstasy; he was so close, almost there.

I prepared myself for his orgasm, wanting to have the taste of him, wanting to feel him coat the inside of my flesh, to mark me.

We worked together, attuned to each other's needs, my mouth, opening when he pushed in, my cheeks hollowing, my lips wrapped tightly, as he pulled out.

It was all going to be over now, I knew, he could take no more, his mouth opened to voice a keening wail of completion but it did not come.

"Stop!"

"No" Conner cried brokenly, his body so high strung and aroused he was in considerable physical anguish, yet he stopped, slipping obediently from my mouth.

Bewildered I looked up at Heyworth, he too was panting, as though he had stopped his orgasm as well.

"Conner, my love, take him, take him for me." his voice cracked at the end of the sentence, confirming that he had indeed delayed his own completion.

I licked my lips nervously, tasting Conner's unique musky taste on the bruised flesh, watching the breathtaking exchange between the two lovers.

They kissed, their tongues tangled playfully, lips pressing softly against each other, they broke apart breathless.

Conner turned towards me, his voice no longer lacked confidence, in fact he became commanding and domineering.

"Up on that bed, now!"

I complied quickly, climbing on the bed, feeling the silky black sheets caress the exposed skin of my knees and thighs.

"On you back, spread those beautiful long legs, my eager little slut"

I did as I was told, lying on my back, the silk sheets cool against my warm naked flesh, my legs bent at the knees and spread obscenely wide, making me appear even more wanton and needy.

"He is even more beautiful than I thought, my love, take him!"

Heyworth spoke quietly, his voice just above a whisper, enough for the sound to reach our ears, and flame my desire even further. I wanted to be taken, possessed, and I had no other choice in this matter.

Conner climbed unto the bed, sitting before my spread thighs, he slipped one finger cautiously inside of me.

The dry finger slipped in, with some difficulty, as I had not given the privilege of my body to none other since my untimely break up with Cameron.

"He is so tight, so hot, you must feel it for yourself, my sweet"

He exclaimed, his finger probing my resisting flesh, stretching and prodding inside, my eyes closed as I let the sensation wash over me.

"Lubricous" I heard the spell, whispered into my ears, I opened my eyes, feeling the familiar cold wetness of the lube, coating the entrance to my body, my eyes meeting Heyworth's were he stood, next to the bed, his face close to my ear, where he had whispered the spell a mere second ago, his wand still clutched in his shaking hand, his naked body flushed and aroused.

The finger that had retreated from my body prior to the spell returned again, this time accompanied by another.

Both fingers breached past the guardian muscle, pushing inside of me, I gasped at the intrusion, a shudder of apprehension and excitement racing through my sprawled limbs, causing my spread thighs to shiver, in hesitation.

A third finger joined it's companions, thrusting inside of me, scissoring and stretching, I jerked upwards attempting to alleviate some of the pressure by having those long fingers stroke across my needy prostate.

My hips were immediately pinned to the bed by Heyworth's' unrelenting hands.

I moaned piteously, squirming under the impossibly hard grip.

The long fingers inside of me began to cautiously caress my insides, stroking softly against my prostate in feather light touches that proved to be even more arousing than hard strokes and insistent rubs.

I gasped brokenly at the pleasure, my legs spreading open further, my pelvis jerking forward towards the blessed touch, the hands on my hips no longer restraining, but merely holding, caressing.

I heard the spell again, whispered in my ear, the fingers slipped out of me slowly, forcing a whimper of dismay from my tormented body. 

My legs were lifted onto Conner's shoulders, something hot and hard nudged at my stretched opening, jerking me out of my lust-induced haze.

I relaxed as much I could, preparing for the inevitable penetration. 

It started with a tentative push, breaching my entrance, slowly, just the head pressing inside, I hissed at the pain, willing my body to remain lax and pliant.

Finally he was sheathed completely within me, hard and throbbing. I had barely a second to adjust to his girth before he slowly pulled out only to slam back inside of me with one fierce thrust.

I groaned at the spasm of pain that raced through me, trailing along my nerve ending.

Several more thrusts preceded the first, I gritted my teeth at the feeling of my abused flesh stretching painfully, and then the pain disappeared in a haze of uncontrollable lust as Conner pressed repeatedly against my prostate, forcing moans of pleasure from my battered body.

I bit my lower lip to keep from shrieking my pleasure to the cool night air that streamed in through the open window, but I failed, I bit my lips till I could taste the coppery flavor of my own blood, both of my hands clenched around the woodened headboard of the huge bed, until I could take no more and I screamed my pleasure, my body writhing, undulating and tightening beneath my new lover's hard frame, my eyes glued to the distant milioner sitting beside me on the bed, his green eyes alight with fascination and arousal, as he watched his lover pounding into my pliant body, repeatedly.

Watching our sweat soaked bodies' tangle in the cool silk sheets as both of our voices rose in a shared moan of ecstasy.

His strong hand crept towards my hardness, wrapping around the weeping organ, he began to stroke me in long firm strokes.

I moaned brokenly, licking my lips watching as he tenderly pushed back the wet lock of black-blue hair from my sweaty brow.

The thrusts increased in speed and depth, the body above me shaking in near climatic joy.

I tightened my muscles around him, pleased when I heard Conner's shout of pleasure.

The hand on my erection increased its strokes, pulling me closer and closer to the edge, stoking the flame of my desire, with renewed effort.

Insistent lips pressed against mine, a hot tongue pushing past my injured lips to ravish the soft inside of my mouth, mimicking the deep thrust of within me.

That was all it took, I screamed my pleasure against the ravenous mouth, spilling myself over Heyworth's strong hand and my own flat stomach, we broke apart from our now languid kiss as Heyworth moved towards his lover, capturing his lips in a heated kiss, that spoke of deep love and commitment, I watched mesmerized, envious as my body brought Conner to his own rapture, tightening around him and propelling him to his own orgasm.

He spilled himself deep within my sated body, the warm fluid filling me to bursting, coating my inside with his musky scent, marking me.

I had never felt like this before, had never felt so exposed, undone by a sexual act, but then again no man had ever cummed inside of me, the sensation was so unfamiliar, I was scared of it at first, scared of how I felt, I felt different, changed, but it was not entirely a pleasant feeling, though I knew it was meant to feel very good, but the nagging voice in the back of my mind, confirmed what I was reluctant to face.

The truth of the matter, I would have enjoyed it better had it been someone else spilling himself within me, someone else but him.

My mind drifted towards memories of enchanting hazel eyes with silver streaks, framed by honey colored hair splashed with silver, full pink lips upturned in a loving smile.

I refused to think further, to admit what I feared to accept.

But my heart still longed for Remus.

A movement to my left drew me from my maudlin thoughts; the loving couple broke apart from their heated kiss, Conner gently and slowly eased out of my satiated flesh.

Heyworth had retreated to his seat on the comfortable armchair, beckoning me with his hand and a soft voice pained with unspent lust to come to him.

I rise to my feet unsteadily and carefully, feeling the inevitable twinge of pain from my lower body as my used fleshed burnt from its earlier possession.

I walked over to him, leaving Conner lying on his stomach his face towards us.

Heyworth beckons me to my knees; his hand caresses my cheek, and then tangles in my hair as he gently nudges me towards his neglected erection, protruding painfully from his body.

I lick my lips delightfully, my eyes glued to his expectant gaze.

Lowering my head, my tongue sneaking past my lips, I lap at the red hot swollen flesh, the hand in my hair clenching around the silky strands.

I become bolder, my gaze sultry and seductive as I draw circles with my tongue over the agonized erection, tongue trailing along the shaft in a leisure pace.

I moan around the hot flesh tasting his strong masculine tang.

I chuckled appreciatively at the groan that escaped passed his gritted teeth, before taking the full hard length down my throat, caressing it with my tongue, hollowing my cheeks and swallowing greedily around the stiff member.

A rhythm was quickly established, Heyworth's hand guiding my head up and down on, his hips jutting upwards with every thrust, pushing his firm hardness deep into my mouth, rubbing against the back of my throat.

The thrusts quickened until with a final moan of pleasure, I felt him spasm and jerk, climaxing.

I was drawn away from the still jerking flesh, by Conner, who attached his mouth to mine, tongue plunging into my mouth to catch the salty-sweet remains of his lover's climax, satisfied he had captured all he could, we broke apart gasping, lips still touching slightly.

The only sound that could be heard in the room was that of our harsh pants mingled together in a bizarre symphony of pleasure and fulfillment.

We remained seated for several minutes, Conner and I on the cold floor, Heyworth on the comfortable armchair.

Conner and Heyworth both turned towards me, a smile of gratitude on their shining faces, they appeared almost child-like right now, no wrinkle of worry marring their youthful features, combined with the relaxed and satisfied expression, they looked carefree and lighthearted.

We got dressed quickly, pulling on our wrinkled robes, I stood by the door, turning back, I smiled at them, kissing them both in farewell.

"Promise you will come see us, we throw magnificent parties all year, promise you will come" demanded Conner, a smile belying the threatening quality in his voice.

"I promise." I answered quietly, knowing I had no plans to return to this mansion for at least several months if not years.

I climbed down the stairs, all the way down to the first floor, panting and out of breath I ran into my four companions, all of them looked as though they had rolled around on the ground, their hair messy and matted, their festive robes wrinkled and covered with unidentified stains, but the smiles of utter content and joy on their faces made them that much more lovely then before.

We stared at each other, our minds' trying to guess at each other's nighttime adventured, we smiled and shook our heads at the unusual events.

"I think it is safe to say we all had a good time tonight, right?"

I questioned softly a sly smirk on my face.

"Oh yeah!" they all replied.

We made our way outside; Matthew stepped closer to me and whispered in my ears "nice love bites, mate!" a cheeky grin on his face.

A look of utter horror passed over my relaxed features as my hands reached towards my neck, immediately feeling the small indention in the skin of my neck.

"Oh no! That will be hell to hide" I sighed.

We reached the school by 4am, luckily without any trouble.

I went to bed for the first time tonight with a clear mind and a clear heart.

No nightmares plagued my sleep, and I rose bright and early to Nomry's cheerful chatter and the smell of a well-cooked breakfast.

_~ James' p.o.v ~_

I awoke this morning with a new conviction in my mind that Sirius will finally return to his rightful place by my side, as always, my equal in everything, my charming "partner in crime".

The thing that made my decision so much less painful was the knowledge that Remus wanted him back just as much as I did, as was clarified the night before in our common room, all that was left was to break the wonderful news to Peter.

I walked to breakfast accompanied by both Remus and Peter, whistling as I thought of the happy ending to these painful few weeks.

Remus looked up at me with an irritated glare, from the transfiguration book in his lap.

Ops.. I forgot all about the transfiguration test today, oh well I thought, I am one of the best students in that class.

I ate my breakfast in comparative silence, my eyes glued to the entrance door, waiting to catch a glimpse of Sirius' tall figure.

He did not come, as always.

We finished breakfast, completed our transfiguration test, in which he sat as always, far away from us and disappeared before I could stop him.

The rest of the day was spent in the same fashion, Remus and I hot on his trail, but he still disappeared, every time.

By the time we had finished our homework and waited for dinnertime to arrive, both Remus and my patience had reached its limit.

"That's it." I announced, getting up and leaving the common room, with Remus by my side, and Peter racing after our retreating backs, a bewildered expression on his frightened portly face.

We strode together, unified towards the Hogwarts grounds, towards the apple tree Sirius loved so much.

"Wait! What is going on, James?"

Oh, I had forgotten to tell Peter of our plans. Remus must have realized that as well for he too had stopped in his tracks. 

"This is what is going on Peter, we are going to talk to Sirius, and we are going to get him back!' I announced, a confident bright smile on my face.

"B.. But James, he betrayed us, he hurt Remus, you could have died too! I.. I think he hasn't paid enough, right Rem?"

Whatever I had expected Peter to say, that was not it, Remus must have felt the same because he, unlike me, responded immediately.

"Shut up, Peter! I'm the one who has a reason to be angry at Sirius, and if I say he is forgiven, then he is forgiven!"

Remus was livid, his hazel eyes burned with a golden flame of his conviction, his lips pulled back just enough to offer a view of his now human fangs, but the animalistic gesture was not lost on Peter, who began shaking and whimpering.

Instead of feeling sorry for him, I found myself sharing in Remus' wrath, wanting to hit Peter for even suggesting we remain Sirius less for even another day!

We both walked off towards the apple tree, leaving a confused and frightened Peter in our wake, but he did not stay behind for long, soon he was running off towards us, calling out to us.

"Wait for me, James, Remus, wait for me!"

We didn't heed his cries, but walked on, the slumped figure of our lost companion became more visible the closer we came to the tree.

There he was, Sirius.

He sat under the comforting shade of the tree, his back propped up against the tree trunk, reading a thick dusty book whose title I could not discern through the thick layers of dust the book had accumulated over the years.

The old, graceful apple tree looked much like an over-protective parent as his strong branches shaded Sirius majestic head, supporting the lithe frame, one could not doubt that this was Sirius' tree, it seemed as though it was spelled to do only his beadings, as though it too, had fallen under Sirius' charm, another helpless victim, to his shine.

We approached him nervously, Peter already by our side.

And then he spoke.

"Whatever party you heard about Matthew I am not going!"

He spoke, how I missed his soft raspy voice, even more I missed his carefree laugh.

By my side, Remus stiffened as he heard Matthew's name spring from Sirius beautiful full red lips.

I had always known that whatever it was between Sirius and I, it could never be more than friendship, it is just too precious to destroy with a lovers' tiff.

But Sirius and Remus, well that was another matter.

They always thought me to be too ignorant, and maybe slightly too self-involved to notice the budding affection between them, they were wrong.

How could I be blind to Remus nearly spitting fire every time he encounters one of Sirius' ex lovers? 

How could I not see how their eyes glowed when they stared at each other? Hugs that last a second too long? Cheeks flushed? Sirius caressing Remus' hair lovingly? Brining him food to the hospital wing?

The sad irony of it all is that Sirius had not yet accepted to himself that he loves, yes, I dare say loves! Remus.

As for Remus, there was never a doubt in my mind regarding the ardent feelings he has for Sirius, but he will never act upon those feelings, why?

Because he is too afraid of himself, of the wolf within, he fears letting people that close inside of him, that they will see the real ugliness behind the somewhat glamorous exterior of being a werewolf. 

And only Sirius and I would find that glamorous, little does he know that Sirius shares the same fear with him.

Why else would he choose this endless, meaningless coupling with nameless people he will not remember later?

He does not recall them fondly, nor does he feel any lasting pleasure from these encounters.

But Sirius, for all his intelligent and fearless manner, is just as scared as everyone else, if not more.

And for that I fear they may never find each other, much like the old saying goes. Two trains in the night. 

They will never meet, because none wish it to be.

_~ Remus' p.o.v ~_

Matthew! How I despise him! Envy him!

But I cannot concentrate on that now, I want my Sirius back, our Sirius back that is.

James spoke then.

"What if it was a party for the returning missing marauder, would you still decline?"

Sirius quickly lifted his head from the old dusty book, his eyes widened in surprise as he gazed at us.

My heart began to race; the pounding sound of it completely deafened me.

How I missed those beautiful expressive purple eyes, the long almost feminine black eye lashes, the black-blue silky locks, I used to stroke so lovingly when Sirius suffered from a bad dream, the full red lips, I dreamed of kissing every night, but would now settle to simply watch as they curved in a smile, a smile for me.

I missed everything that was Sirius, everything that I loved.

"What do you mean by that, James?" he spoke cautiously, his eyes boring into James' and then mine, trying to decide whether we spoke the truth or not.

I realized then that our treatment of him had hurt him so deeply, that he had begun to doubt our love for him, that had to be amended quickly, I could tell that James felt the same way, as his pale blue gaze met my own, in concern.

"I mean, that we want our Sirius back, I as well as Remus and Peter agree that our problems will not be solved by us being apart, we want to try to fix this, put it behind us. What do you say?"

For a minute nobody said a word, the only sound was the howling of the soft summer wind, as it ruffled our hairs in mocking playfulness.

"I say I want to come back."

He spoke quietly, his head lowered to the ground as though he feared that by looking into our eyes, the moment would be shattered with lies and deceptions.

I waited no further, as soon as the words had left his mouth, I leaped towards him, my arms embracing him, pulling him close to my body, to my heart.

James' warm body joined our mashed limbs, adding his own warm weight, his mouth close to Sirius' ear, he whispered quietly, too quiet for my super human senses to hear more than scrape of syllables, but I quickly tuned out of their private conversation, not daring to intrude into their precious moment.

And so we were united.

Sirius had then formally hugged James, me and finally clasped Peter's hand in a friendly gesture, that surprised none more than Peter himself, for Sirius rarely spared much warmth towards him, if any at all.

We stood beneath that spellbinding apple tree announcing our newfound friendship, accepting our old scars and wounds, recognizing changes in each other's personality we had been too involved before, to take notice of. But we had all the time in the world to learn.

Beneath that cherished apple tree our friendship was rediscovered and judged once again to be strong and true, sealed under the comforting shade of those strong branches.

The maradures were back.

"I cannot believe the school year is almost over" I complained to my friends a day after our moving reunion, over breakfast.

"I can't believe the year is nearly over and we had barely done any pranks!" exclaimed James in true horror.

"I believe you are right, prongs, that must be fixed immediately!"

Declared Sirius, his devious mind already plotting the untimely demise of our "fellow" slytherins.

Our excited chatter was broken upon the arrival of the morning post.

James' brown barn owl, Spike as well as Sirius' hot-tempered black owl, Zombie settled themselves on the breakfast table.

While Spike nicked breadcrumbs off of James' plate, Zombie has made himself comfortable in his master's sweet porridge, his beak plunging into the bowl of porridge with obvious relish.

"No mail, eh punks?" James stated with a smirk on his face, letting Spike continue feeding off his plate, Sirius sighed and allowed Zombie to do the same, stroking the satin black feathers.

My own gray owl soared through the window with a look of disdain towards both Spike and Zombie, he dropped the letter into my awaiting palm, before landing gracefully on the table before me, chirping in thanks at the offered owl treats.

I opened my letter. Immediately recognizing my mother's unique scrawl.

_Dear Remus_

_I hope you are well, I am aware that your "special" night is only two days upon your return from Hogwarts and the beginning of the summer break, all of the preparations have been made accordingly._

_Remus my child, your father has arranged for all three of us to spend most of the summer holiday in Rome, where he has heard of a new research on lycanthropes that has been reported to have made tremendous discoveries in this field. _

_Please Remus I beg of you, do not despair, you must accept your father's guilt and my own for your pain and suffering, we will do all we can to rid you of this curse, all I ask is that you bear with us a little longer, my strong and brave child._

_We will be leaving for Rome a week after your arrival and return a week before your schooling will resume, well in time for you to purchase the needed supplies for your sixth year._

_Remember Remus, no matter how despondent you are with these news, remember that we love you more than words can say and wish only to give you a chance at a normal life, respected and admired by your peers, that is your rightful place, my bright boy, remember that._

_Love._

_Your mother._

I folded the letter and hid it in the back pocket of the pants I wore beneath my school robes, fighting back the feelings of despair and anxiety, wishing hopelessly to spend one summer at home, playing in the back yard, sleeping over at James' house, being normal.

But here I was once again faced with another summer of being prodded and pricked, put under a microscope, and examined.

It was these trips that made me feel so abnormal, so degraded, not my transformations, not the raging wolf in the back of my mind, not even the looks of disgust and recognition upon Severus Snape's face could makes me feel as lowly and undeserving as those scheduled weeks spent in labs all over the world.

I sighed, glancing up at the concerned faces of my friends; I knew that they were aware of my changed mood, their questioning gazes, settled upon my saddened expression, with a mix of sympathy and curiosity.

They waited patiently for me to speak, knowing that I needed the time to compose myself.

"I'm…I'm going to Rome this summer, my father heard of this new research, so we are leaving for Rome a week after school is out for the summer holiday"

For a minute they were all silent, comprehending my news, and then Sirius spoke.

"When do you return, Rem?"

He asked me quietly, not a hint of emotion penetrating past his mask of mild interest.

"A week before school begins." Both Sirius and James nodded, silently, their expressions now grim.

"We all meet in Diagon alley as planned, right?" Sirius asked me, or more to say confirmed for me.

His gaze burning with a purple flame of confidence and support that brought tears to my eyes.

I gulped back my tears, nodding my assent to his words, smiling a tremulous smile at him, he smiled back, his grin kind and loving, and I felt my heart soar with the beautiful pleasure of this secret smile, meant only for me.

Suddenly Rome did not seem so bad, as I knew Sirius as well as James and Peter will write to me constantly, and we will meet as always in Diagon alley.

_~ Sirius p.o.v ~_

"Another year, gone, but let us not forget the lessons learnt here…"

Another year, another speech, I thought, yawning in complete boredom as Dumbledore rambled on about deeds and lessons of life, but I was already thinking about the parting meal, my stomach growling in absolute hunger, that I might add was not helped by my constant obsessing with my new guessing game. "Guess what will be served tonight!" my bets were currently on fried chicken, shepherd's pie, rice and peas, for the main course of course.

"Sirius, you goof! Snap out of it!" James elbowed me painfully; I turned towards my offending friend in anger, my stomach growling once again.

"What? You disturbed my guessing game, you oaf!"

I cried in dismay, rubbing my hungry stomach with one hand while gingerly caressing my injured side.

"The prank for the train, don't you think it's a bit too much? I mean we already transfigured the slytherins' bed into beds of nails, dyed their common room in a disastrous mixture of hot pink and orange as well as releasing a band of Cornish pixies in their bedrooms. Aren't we pushing it a bit too much?"

I looked deep into his pale blue eyes, framed by his thick-framed glasses, seeing the needed confirmation in his eyes, I smiled deviously, evoking the same conniving smile from his own lips.

Together we both declared.

"Hell no!" 

Snickering silently under moony's watchful gaze, the curve of his soft lips quirking upwards in a shared smile of scheming pleasure.

He is a marauder after all, one of the best!

Finally the speeches were over and the meal was served and I have won my guessing game!

"Did you see the look on his face? God! That was priceless!"

"How about when they both screamed 'we will get you for this Potter and you too Black!' priceless!"

James and I walked off the Hogwarts Express onto the Platform of 9 and 3/4, in King's Cross railway station, laughing out loud as we reminisced about the fulfilling ride back home.

The prank in question was preformed with brilliance befitting our status as the most fearsome pranksters this school has ever seen.

It all began with a simple harmless spell, the Rickoto spell that made the infected individual dance, but not just any dance, no! That would be too easy.

The poor miserable soul preformed only ballet accompanied by a lovely pink chowchow skirt. 

The spell first hit several sixth year slytherins, who began dancing around their cart, each taking turns to jump high into the air while performing a split.

The unfortunate souls found the land of unconsciousness quickly as they cracked their skulls against the low ceiling in the cart.

Satisfied we moved further, splitting into two groups, one with Remus and Peter, the only one with enough patience towards Peter's incompetence, and the other consisted of James, and me of course.

We passed through every cart striking every slytherin on board with the hilarious charm.

The uproarious peals of laughter feeding our prides, as the slytherin's dancing ensemble broke into another magnificent dance, their pink chowchow skirts glistening with the supplementary glitter, added by moony, himself, as a final touch, he said.

Their bodies and expressions were stiff and mechanic-like, their movements were as graceful as can be, had we not been distracted by the pink chowchow or the hilarity of the situation, I suppose one could find it quite beautiful, perhaps we should sell tickets to the show, to the faculty?

I wonder what James will say to that? I grinned in amusement.

The hilarious part of all was that the spell had not broken until they all passed through the barrier towards the muggle world.

They all glided past the barrier in mid-dance, jumping high up into the air, only to drop unceremoniously to the ground as they no longer held even the slightest grace the spell had gifted them with.

We laughed together all four of us, hands clasped together as we cheered and celebrated our togetherness and cleverness, our shoulders tapped, praise sang to our ears as our audience which consisted of all three remaining houses, came to congratulate and honor us, but we saw none but each other, standing tall and united.

The time to depart had come again, reluctant I embraced my friends for the last time in several weeks, loathing the painful void that became a persistent fixture in my heart each time I had to say goodbye.

"Take care, Jamie"

"You too Siri, you are coming to stay with me, right?"  
"Of course, you stupid git!" 

We embraced again, before James finally moved to depart from Peter.

I turned towards Remus, my eyes meeting those beautiful honey-colored pools of warmth. Unbelievable that I came so close to losing him, I berated myself again at my recklessness, only to be stopped by my kind Remus.

"Don't Padfoot, I can see in your eyes what you are doing! We agreed it was over!"

"I know, but it's never forgotten, is it Rem?" I spoke inaudibly, not really expecting an answer, and not surprised when I received none.

"I hope you find what you need in Rome, what your family needs." I said calmly, while inside my heart was racing in anxious dismay, not ready to let go, to separate for even this short a time.

"Thank you" he whispered softly, his eyes lowered to the ground and hidden beneath the silvery-blonde strands of his hair that covered his eyes from sight, as he continued to stare at the ground.

I turned away from him, clasping Peter's hand in a friendly grip.

"Have a good summer, Pete!" I said to him with false cheerfulness, my mind still with Remus and our strange parting.

We all walked in different directions, Peter with his parents to the leaky cauldron, James outside where his parents waited in a muggle taxi, to take him to the muggle village of Scranton.

And finally Remus and his parents towards the bathroom stalls were they usually port keyed home.

Both Peter and James had already left, when Remus rushed back towards me, he stopped a few inches apart from me, gazing into my eyes with tormented hazel eyes, the silver streaks more prominent in their mysterious depths.

He hugged me, embracing me, sheltering me in the warmth of his arm, his lips pressing against my cheek, but I could not determine whether it was a kiss or merely a press of skin against skin.

He let me go abruptly, and dashed back towards the retreating figures of his parents, leaving me shivering without his warmth and tenderness.

My hand covered my cheek; the one Remus had pressed his soft lips to.

I smile stupidly and walk outside, my eyes easily catching sight of the horribly pink colored and flowered commune van, with Venetia in the driver seat, accompanied by none other than Quinn and Armadia, my wonderful "siblings".

We all embrace in a twisted group hug of tangled limbs and uproarious laughter.

I load my luggage to the van and take my seat by the window, feeling comforted by the noisy and happy chatter that easily lolls me into their conversation, making me feel as though I still have a place in this muggle world, but in my mind I know that the time will come when I will have to choose between both worlds, to decide where I belong, but for now I bask in childhood ignorance and crave the comfort and companionship only the commune can supply, but also to the challenging and exciting life only Hogwarts can grant.

Someday I'll be forced to choose, but for now I refuse to dwell on such subjects.

The time will come, as it always does.

Next in Of Beauty: meeting in Diagon alley, hints of evil doings outside of Hogwarts, a new DADA teacher, a budding romance turning sour and dangerous, Sirius begins new classes and our lad just can't seem to stay out of trouble. All of that and more on chapter 9 and the maradures sixth year in Hogwarts.

I know that was unbelievably long! Sorry, the chapter refused to finish itself! Does that make any sense?

Lol! Please R&R, I live for your kind words and long reviews (hint. hint).

So try to make me happy, please review!

I would like to thank all of you who read my story and ask you all to please leave a review; it helps to know what you think of the story and how I may improve it. It also helps (I admit!) to an author's ego to know people actually enjoy his or hers work.

Jasini-thank you, I was worried about the whole whomping willow incident, I'm glad you like it; I hope you will also like this obscenely long chapter.

Shura- wow! Thank you, I hope you will also be pleased with this installment.

Shadow Shi13- thank you for reviewing, I agree self hate is a terrible thing, but I doubt any of us can say they have never felt that way themselves. Let me know what you think about this new chapter, god knows it took ages to finish!

Cassy- thank you, I hope you will also find this chapter hot and sexy, I also promise you some good Remus/Sirius on the way, I already have a wonderful sex scene between them in my mind, just waiting to be typed on the computer.

Loonie Lori Lupin- thank you, I was way self conscious about this story as well as my own characterization, I'm glad you liked it, I also hope you will enjoy this chapter as well, I'd love to hear your comments on it.

Janice- thank you! Even that one word made me feel better, I do hope next time you will leave a longer review, I'd love to hear any comments or criticism you have.

My Beloved Sunshine- I know shame on me! Did this chapter get you to come back for more? I must say there is a lot more twists and turns to this plot. Hope you will stick around for the long haul.

Neelah Black- all I can say, you should definitely read the NC-17 version of this chapter, I have a feeling you will like it much better.

Miss Angelus- I hope you enjoyed the NC-17 version I sent you, if you want the one for this chapter, let me know.

IMaxed- thank you for reviewing, it means a lot to me. As for the details I'm glad you like it because I was worried they might be too much, it is so easy to get lost in them, thank you.

As for my grammar, I know it's awful but I'm afraid I'm not an English native speaker, so I write according to the way I feel is right for the characters, and I'm still looking for a beta to help me with my grammar and comma issues. So I hope that will be solved easy.

As for the sensual part, well all I can say is you really should read the NC-17 version, it is more sensual.

Let me know how you like this chapter, I'd love any comments, plus this chapter has more sex scenes. Lol.

Davey-boy- thank you, so much. As for Remus' anger, it is very hard to strike the exact measure of one's feelings, I think he was more heart broken than angry, at least according to my story, but you will also see very soon that Remus is no pushover and every thing he does is for a certain reason.

Thank you for leaving a review, I hope you will enjoy this chapter as well, please let me know.

Well that's it people, I'm taking a long happy break! 40 pages is more than enough for now, so please don't hate me, I just need some sleep!

Chapter 9 is already in the works, and will not take as long as this one, I hope. (Unless it too will decide to be 40 pages long!)

Any of you who want the NC-17 version, well… you know what to do!

So don't forget authors don't live off money, they live off reviews (at least until they write their first best-seller!)


	9. Of Something Forbidden

**Of Beauty – by FunkyCharms21**

Disclaimer: I own nothing it all belongs to the wonderful J.K Rowling!

Summery: the life of Sirius black- from 4th year in Hogwarts, this is a **slash** story with multiple partners (my characters) and eventual Remus/ Sirius. Told from many different points of views.

Warning: very graphical sex scene and underage sex, if you are too young or sickened by the thought of two men together in sexual situations, leave now!

Rating: NC-17 (very graphic/under age sex)

**Author's note: I feel there is something very important that I have to say, I remember my promise to update sooner, but I have to ask you all to understand that I have recently experienced a great loss in my family, and I am dealing with my grief, I have to let you all know that writing this chapter has helped me escape from my grief for a bit and I hope you enjoy it, it was hard to juggle with my uni studies.**

**Also this chapter was supposed to be longer but I felt that it would be split in two by the sites I publish at and it's best to just make it in to two chapters, so this is one and I have no idea when the second one will be up, but I'll do my best. **

Chapter 9 – Of Something Forbidden _Sirius p.o.v_

_Darkness, all around me consuming darkness. _

_I stumble lost and confused, covering my ears with my hands, trying in vain to keep the anguished cries of pain from my tormented mind, the shrieks become louder, stronger, until they rock the very ground I stumble and sway upon, the vibrations of the horrific sound rake through my body, immerse into my skin, I let go of my ears, trying to scrub my skin with my bare hands, in futile attempt to peel away the disturbing presence, but I cannot._

_More shrieks fill the cold night air, my hands rush to cover my ears, but I can no longer tell my own shrill cries from that of these unseen victims, I land on the harsh and unforgiving frozen ground, my knees scrape from the impact, but I fail to notice, to care, I am locked in my tormented world of sleep, trapped beyond a comforting hand, yet I know I cannot be harmed, still I feel no relief at the thought._

_I recognize nothing of these strange surroundings, all I see is darkness, all I know is fear, but it is not my own sensation, it is not my own fear, and I drown, I drown in this panic that is not mine, as it fills me as it takes me, and I am unwilling._

_A shift in this strange humid air, a sudden burning heat prickles my skin, a fire! I realize suddenly, a fire!_

_The very air I breathe smells of smoke and death, the heat is so powerful I fear it will melt my struggling lungs, burn my skin, scorch the very faraway cold skies._

_And I walk through burnt houses, just as before, but yet different than before, there is but one large house burning, one crumbling corpse of a decaying structure._

_Snakes circle me, black and yellow, the colors of the fire, their hissing tongues outstretched towards me, in threat, and I freeze._

_The fire that devours the run-down house takes once again the almost familiar face of a snake like human, and I feel those evil beady eyes, that no creature on earth can emulate, that none posses such evil, they see me._

_They see me._

And I wake, shivering, cold sweat covers my frozen body, and I can't shake the feeling that it was real, that there is such a place, run-down and burning, that there had been living people in mortal danger, and I fear falling back to sleep.

And I fear seeing more, and I know that I will. I always do.

The morning sun bathes the grassy ground in a warm golden glow, I watch helplessly at this magnificent splendor.

The wet droplets of last night's dew sparkle in the bright light, the fields surrounding me shine like diamonds, and I lay back down on the cool and wet ground, sighing my content to the chilly morning air.

The night's terrifying nightmares do not exist in this world of wonder, I sometimes almost believe they never existed at all, but than I fear for my own tormented sanity, I sigh again, in frustration.

Melancholy does not suit me that I know to be true.

I rise to my feet, stretching my tired limbs; my sore and red eyes scan through the bright skies, across the green plains, where our horses now graze.

My proud Serengela, noticed my rise and has dutifully come to my side, I caresses his beautiful dark mane, before jumping on his bare back, my hands quickly clutching the gracefully soft mane, I tighten my thighs around his large and heaving form, urging him with my voice to ride, he obeys my command quickly until all I can feel is the strong fresh wind in my hair, and hear not but the sound of Serengela's strong hoofs' sure strides as they hit their mark repeatedly and relentlessly on the soft grassy plains of my home.

I close my eyes, letting my body become one with the horse's, to move with his movements, I let the horse lead me wherever he may go, knowing that no harm shall come to me while I am astride.

I reach the stables quickly, dismount from Serengela's tall form and pet his silky coat, his chest heaving in an agitated manner as he often does when I ride him after such a long absence.

"Sirius, dear, come and have some lunch honey, you must be exhausted"

I turn, grinning towards Tallinn's slender figure, a warm smile gracing her serene face.

I follow her wordlessly into our dining room, and though I love it here, I can't wait to go to James' place, and I can't wait to see my friends in Diagon alley.

_Remus' p.o.v _

I didn't mean for it to happen, but for once in my life I had no control over myself.

I'm not ashamed though, but I think I should feel ashamed, deep inside I feel I might have betrayed my love for him, but it was so easy to lose myself in someone else who is attainable and willing, who doesn't see me as I really am, who cant read me or know what I really am beneath this skin, in my veins, in the very blood that pumps through me, that gives me life.

Indeed it is easy to sometimes feel as though I am not really alive only a living corpse fueled by this infection, this demon that rules my heart, my mind, infused in my very soul.

And it's easy not to see him while I commit my own betrayal, my own sweet misery.

Rome has never seemed beautiful to me through the bars of my prison cell, like any other great city I had seen these long years since the bite.

They hold no sweet memories, no moments of enchantment; they just prolong my pain, my realization that I am something foul.

I am locked in another lab, imprisoned by another cell and only the scenery changes, while I remain the same.

But Rome turned out different indeed.

In Rome I had lost my body to a young man, with sparkling blue eyes, infectious smile and sinfully soft black hair, who knew not a word of English, and I don't feel ashamed, I don't.

His name was Angelo and he had a great likeness to my beloved Sirius, and that was all it took.

He worked at the muggle hotel in which my family and I stayed in during our stay in Rome.

It was 3am and I could not sleep, I was feeling too anxious and homesick, I could find no rest here, no comfort.

I longed for the grassy plains of Hogwarts grounds, the busy chatter of Diagon Ally, but most of all my friends, my close knitted family, mostly during my painful transformations.

I walked quietly down to the lobby of the small run down hotel, the only decent place my dear parents could afford to pay for such an extended stay. I walked out of the graying lobby with its yellowing peeling wallpapers and was hit immediately by the sharp clear wind tinged with the night's particular coldness; the streets were deserted so late at night, even in a city as full of life as Rome. The streets were well-lit and methodically cleaned each night, silent hands washing away all traces of its morning guests, and by morning there shall also be no sign of my intrusion on these cold paved sidewalks.

I walked on and on till my feet ached and my mind had gone numb, my body shivering in the cold night air. I returned to my hotel hardly conscious of my doing so, simply allowing my body to do the work for me, and trusting it to succeed.

I stepped inside the decaying lobby, my shivering lessening instantly upon my entrance, as the wind howled fiercely outside at the loss of another victim.

Feeling tired yet unable to find rest, I decided to sit on the overstuffed green armchair, located right across from the small graying reception desk.

My eyes slowly shutting, my head lolling back, I could almost feel sleep creep up on me, until a human smell, fresh and new entered the room, it was a foreign smell, a human I had never met. My eyes opened languidly, assessing the young man before me, the gorgeous young man before me.

He was unafraid, nor startled by my presence, he approached me quietly, with a soft confidant of a young man who knows his overtures won't be rejected, much like my beloved Sirius, though he doesn't believe himself to be that confident, he truly is.

He was 6"0 tall, taller than Siri, older than Siri, but he lacked Siri's wonderful charisma, his sexual aura, but he was captivating none the less, with his shoulder length silky black hair, (which lacked Sirius' magnificent blue tint), sparkling blue eyes and a slender form, he was like Sirius but oh so lacking.

He approached me, his work-roughened hands caressing my cheeks, splaying across my forehead, gently massaging, exploring.

My mouth opened in a gasp, I was shocked, nervous but aroused all at the same time.

His somewhat thin lips (in comparison to Siri's, mind you) hovered so close to mine, that our breaths mingled, the look in his eyes was daring me to close the distant between us, I hesitated, my mind screaming at me at the absurdity of it all, I don't know this man, yet here I am contemplating kissing him, because I'm homesick? Missing Sirius? In love with Sirius? None of it makes any kind of sense, yet I find myself throwing caution to the wind and closing the distance separating my lips from his own wet and soft ones.

We kiss; I'd like to say he swept me off my feet, like in the movies, but I can't, either way I couldn't stop the kissing, the touching, it felt like something inside of me broke free, all this longing for someone I could never have, all these pent up hormones just broke free, poured out of me, as his tongue swiped across my lips seeking entry, which I granted wholeheartedly, the kiss deepened as we both fought for dominance, our tongues tangling, caressing and ravishing.

We broke apart panting, he kissed my face murmuring endearments in Italian, which I could only speculate at, since my Italian was so poor, but his voice was low and raspy, sending arousing shivers down my spine.

I felt so reckless, so liberated, sitting on this armchair with another man I knew nothing about, communicating in the only language we both knew, it was improper and immoral, but I couldn't care less, I wanted to feel more, to know more, and he seemed so promising, so knowing and confident that I trusted him to show me, to teach me.

He stands suddenly, his hand and soft voice beckoning me to follow; I hesitate but a second before I too stand up and follow.

I walk with him into his room in the staff quarters, surprised that I had never noticed him before among the hotel staff, but too busy contemplating what is to come to question him.

He takes off his shirt, slowly, his eyes never leaving mine; I swallow nervously around the great lump in my throat, suddenly unsure and frightened, faced with this startling new reality I'm unsure I really want to go through with anymore; but the subtle ache in my crutch and the fire in his eyes makes my blood warm, makes me stir inside with feelings and sensation I long to explore.

I step towards him only to be swept in his arms, my lips already seeking his, as we engage in yet another fiery kiss.

Feeling no longer shy I caress his naked chest, tweaking the brown flat nipples, embolden by his moans I reach for his trousers, unzipping them and helping him spring free from the offending confinement.

Wearing nothing but his boxer shorts, he breaks our heated kiss and whispers his name in my ear, as his warm hands lift my shirt off my body, just long enough for the cool air in the room to brush my naked skin and make me moan at the contradicting feelings of hot and cold, and his hands cover my skin, chasing away the chill of the night.

We kissed again, our lips meshing together, tongues tangling, licking, sucking, and nipping.

I didn't feel shame at the scars covering my naked flesh, how could I when he kissed each scar with his moist lips, and pronounced me beautiful in his native tongue.

My pants and underwear followed suit, followed immediately by his underwear.

We lay naked on his small bed, so cramped we had no choice but to lay on each other, in order to keep from falling off.

He lays on top of me, kissing my neck, my chest, my nipples, slowly sliding downwards, his tongue swiping at my sensitive navel, tracing yet another delicate scar tissue that marred my youthful skin.

And then he touches me, I had never been touched like that by another man, his hands feel so good on my skin I thought I would surely melt, until his tongue caress me.

I moan brokenly, my body suddenly too hot, too stimulated, and then he was swallowing me inch by precious inch, painstakingly slow, my breath felt so shallow I feared I couldn't get enough air into my lungs, the pleasure was exquisite, bordering on pain, but not quite, I panted again wanting it to stop, to continue, I wasn't sure anymore.

Then I felt it, a lone wet finger tracing around my flesh, causing me to shiver in pleasure and apprehension, it slid into me carefully, gently, I stilled in his arms, my hand tangling in his black silky mane, as the finger continued it's descend into my body.

It didn't hurt, it felt strange, but the second one did hurt, I grimaced but let him continue, knowing that it will get a lot worse before it will get better, or so Sirius told me, and I hope he wasn't lying.

Suddenly the fingers inside of me curled and my soon to be lover touched something inside of me, I don't know what it was but I started to moan again, my skin broke out in Goosebumps and arousal washed over me.

The third finger was barely noticeable as he continued to stroke that wonderful place inside of me.

And then he pulled out of me, I laid back panting, my eyes closed as I waited for the inevitable, I knew what was going to happen, but I didn't want this feeling to stop, I had never felt so alive in my life, so in tune with my body, I could feel the blood pumping faster in veins, and for once it wasn't a reaction brought on by fear.

Before my minds' eye I could clearly imagine this man before me was my beloved Sirius, his blue eyes obscured by the darkness in the room, only the light of the street lamps invading the otherwise dark room, with their gentle white glow. In this light I could easily imagine this was Siri, on top of me, almost inside of me.

And then he was inside of me.

I can't lie and say it didn't hurt, because it did, very much so.

I cried out, my hands clutching at the sheets, as I questioned my sanity and Siri's for that matter, this hurt, I felt ripped, torn, but strangely enough, my lover had stopped moving and laid still on top of me, I felt a sense of calm wash over me, my body relaxed, muscles stretched beyond my capacity and I could breath again, the pain lessened into a bearable throb, as my unyielding flesh was forced into accommodating this strange length, and then he moved.

It was unpleasant to say the least, the first few thrusts were painful as my body slowly adjusted, but he was caring and gentle, his hands stroking me in an attempt to bring me pleasure, his lips caressing my neck, my cheeks, my lips, arousing me slowly, until my body could finally reawaken again and feel the pleasure.

He changed the angle of his thrusts, and my eyes closed involuntary of their own will, my moans no longer contained, no longer tainted with pain, there was only hot searing pleasure, turning my insides out, making every nerve end in my body tingle and come alive, my pulse was racing, matching the strong "thump" of his pulse, as his heaving body pressed closer to me, in to me.

And then I came, and I was flying, my body shivering, convulsing.

I moaned again, one name upon my lips, the only name that will ever be on my lips.

"Sirius"

He came soon after, his tired body collapsing on top of mine, he was heavy but I didn't want him to leave just yet, I felt so peaceful, exhausted and happy, so this is what it's all about, I can finally see what Sirius likes so much about sex, it will be so easy to become a slut, like Sirius laughingly calls himself, (though it hurts him when it is thought to be true).

After that night I had spent the last two weeks left of this "vacation" with my new lover, Angelo, who taught me a lot about sex, Italian culture and food, and showed me his favorite places in Rome.

My parents considered this trip to be yet another failure, as my illness still had no known cure. But they were glad I had made a new friend, how little did they know.

It was time to leave, to go back to school, but first to Diagon ally, to see my wonderful friends again.

I had already told James and Sirius about Angelo by owl mail, because I felt I had to tell someone about it, and who better then those two.

James reacted as expected, first admonishing me, and then asking for details.

Sirius seemed quite happy about my newfound sexual experience, and as well asked for details, I found myself feeling slightly disappointed, unsure of what I had hoped he would say, but what he did say was highly unexpected, and I felt once again just how unattainable he is to me, and it angered me, maddened me, but I won't back down, not this year, I vowed to myself that this year I will make him mine, no holding back, no more shy, undeserving Remus.

I said my goodbyes to Angelo, thanking him for everything he has done for me, even though he understood not a word and my Italian hadn't improved much, but I think he knew.

We were finally home, and tomorrow I would see my friends, and though I couldn't come and stay with James, like Peter and Sirius did, for the rest of the week, because I was due for another transformation 3 days before my return to Hogwarts, I would talk to them every day through the fire place and I would start reading through my school books, not as much fun as being with my friends, but that's the way it is.

_James P. O .V _

"Sirius you crazy mutt, get back here!"

Sirius had come to stay with me three weeks ago, and I was surprised to see that in all this time he hadn't slept with anyone, at all.

You're all as shocked as me, right?

But it's true. He also told me he hadn't done a thing while he was home, he was always riding his horses and playing with his "siblings", I wished my mom would let me come visit Sirius' family, I'd love to see what his life look like, his friends "siblings", his horses, his house, all of it.

But no such luck, mom is afraid it might taint my innocent mind, too bad she forgot no one can stay innocent with Sirius as his best friend.

Well back to the present, Sirius and I have had a lot of fun playing in the woods, scaring muggles, and playing with my dad, who took us to a Quidditch match played by the Honkly Dragons vs. the Berkley hags, naturally the Dragons' won, and it was a great game.

The seeker was Stornge Glasgo, a Hungarian import to the team, he caught the snitch after his team was already 100 points in the lead, and they won.

Three weeks before we were all supposed to meet in Diagon Ally, me and Sirius got another owl from Remus, who told us he had had sex, brace yourselves, with a man, I never knew he swung that way, hmm.

Naturally we were very happy for him, even though I thought Sirius was acting a tad bit melancholy, for a while, he was a bit of a grouch the last week, but he soon got over his foul mood, as the day finally came for us to meet again.

Siri and I came by flew, and waited for Peter and Remus in the Leaky Cauldron, as usual they were late, why do I put up with this? Oh, yeah, they're my best mates.

Finally they came, and we all embraced each other, Peter had gotten slightly taller, and his hair was streaked by the sun, making it almost white, but the content smile on his face told me he had had a great summer.

Remus had also gotten taller, he was at least 5"8 and a half, he looked happy and relaxed and he seemed so confident in himself, no longer lowering his head, he stood proud and tall, and though I'm nervous to say this, he looked beautiful, not Sirius' otherworldly beauty, but a more earthly beauty, the wolf inside him matures with him, and each year, the aura of strength, power and wisdom grows stronger in Remus.

Siri as always only seems to grow taller and more beautiful each year, and this year is no different.

We spent the entire day buying our schoolbooks, uniforms, supplies and most importantly stoked up on prank material.

As the marauders we had an obligation to make sure each year in Hogwarts is interesting and inspiring to future generations who might also be hell bound on torturing slytherins, it should be a registered sport, you know? Even peter could excel in it.

I can't believe a new year is about to start again.

_Sirius P.O.V_

So much has changed for me these last few weeks, learning about Remus sleeping with a man, I never thought he felt that way about men, why didn't he say anything?

Another shocking thing was seeing him again, Rome and sex had apparently done him a lot of good, and I felt, well, I can't describe it really, attracted, maybe?

Or maybe I'm just so horny since I've been celibate for the entire break.

Either way, I dare not dwell on it.

Something else that bothered me was that when we spent the day at Diagon ally I could have sworn Remus was staring at me, and it didn't unnerve me it excited me, how strange is that?

I'm probably imagining things, right?

I must be.

It was that time again. The time to go back to Hogwarts and start yet another school year, as always I still felt slightly awed by the thought of another year. I, unlike my pure blooded friends, have never known such a world existed before my letter arrived 5 years ago, and returning to the muggle world on each occasion brought with me a sense of loss and detachment that always took me the better part of two weeks to adjust to.

And still I can't wait for this new year to start.

"Peter, will you please get your filthy hands out of the kidney pie, so I could have some? Honestly" muttered James annoyed at having to fight for the last slice of his most favored pie.

My eyes met Remus' over James head and we both smirked at the childish display, so typical of James.

It was the start of the new year feast at Hogwarts.

The announcement of the start of the year were much like every year, and we had yet another new DADA teacher, that position was most likely jinxed, just like everyone have speculated about.

The only strange thing about the whole evening was that the new teacher has failed to arrive to the feast and we had yet to catch a glimpse of him.

That was a bit odd to say the least.

_Remus' P.O.V_

Walking again in the corridors of Hogwarts I felt a changed man, not only was it my own judgment on the subject that convinced me so, but also my class mates have commented to me that I have matured, become more handsome and have attained an aura that they found quite irresistible, naturally it was not said in these words, but the impression was indeed the same.

The new confidence that now coursed through my veins made me that much more determined and positive that this year, like I had planned, Sirius will finally be mine.

The week past in a blur of activities, pranks and an obscene amount of homework, (following last year's AWOL), but we had all easily fallen back into the usual routine of life in Hogwarts, especially Sirius.

It was Thursday, almost the end of the week, a day we all looked forward to with both anticipation and dread. Today we will finally meet the mysterious new DADA teacher, professor Cambridge.

We were all together in the great hall enjoying our lunch and waiting for the following period in which we will finally meet the new DADA teacher. The thing that increased speculation about this new teacher was that not only had he not appeared in the great hall for the start of the year feast, he had also not appeared at all this week, and had taught no class to any grade this whole week, something which was considered quite peculiar, so it happened that the 6th year Gryffindors and Slytherins will be the first to meet this new teacher and also later obligated to report to our other school mates on the new teacher's technique and capabilities, a heavy burden indeed.

I sat patiently in my seat, watching James and beautiful Sirius interact with each other, it seems as though this summer spent together has brought them even closer than I thought imaginable. A sense of overwhelming fear grips me because I remember what happened in 5th year, I remember what I walked in on, the two of them almost kissing.

And if there is one thing I know for certain is that Sirius will always love James, no matter what, and that should they ever be together, become lovers, they will never part, and I could never stand a chance, could never compete with James.

Sometimes when you watch them together it seems as though everything besides them ceases to exist, they see only each other, and I feel left out and envious.

It seems unbelievable that I should feel this way, right? I mean Sirius sleeps around, quite a bit, and here I am feeling threatened by his best friend, James, who is also a very good friend of mine, how strange is that?

They are laughing together at one of James silly jokes only they fully understand, in some ways they make the best match, they balance each other out, they are always honest with each other, brutally so, and they are so bright, so smart, they think alike in most things and they just look right together. I could never be that way, could never be like smart and brave James with his sweet smile and understanding eyes.

Oh Sirius, do I even stand a chance? I ask silently, feeling the steady flow of my new confidence lessening at the face of their almost undeniable compatibility.

I sigh, how melodramatic love can make you. I have never felt so fully absorbed in another person's life, even with my parents there is a distance, a necessary distance. But with Sirius I'm absorbed, I see nothing but him, my heart clinches when he smiles, cracks a bit when that smile is directed at another. Sometimes I feel I have no will of my own.

Lost in my thoughts I almost missed the arrival of the new DADA teacher.

_Bordian's (professor Cambridge) P.O.V_

_This is the writing of an obsessed mind, a mind that is devoured by lustful thoughts, forbidden thoughts._

_My mind should not be thinking such thoughts, I'm a grown man, a respected man, but at times like these I feel as though I am but a slave to cravings and desires, urges that cannot be suppressed and denied and I don't know how long it will be before I will surrender and that is a terrifying thought. But there is no fear in me when I look at him, no fear at all._

At times like these I think I made a big mistake coming to teach at Hogwarts, but owing a favor to professor Dumbledore and not repaying him later is not a wise decision, and so I came and took upon myself the jinxed position of being the DADA teacher. What I had not bargained upon was being sexually attracted to one of my students, an underage student.

My first lesson turned out to be the lesson that nearly undone me, it was supposed to be a lesson I looked forward to, to teach 6th year Gryffindors and Slytherins. I looked forward to teaching more advanced material than was possible for younger years. I loved to mold the young, sharp and eager minds of students, and 6th years were at their prime magical capabilities, with enough solid base and groundwork to allow for a more adventurous study.

Due to personal problems I had arrived much later than I had hoped and had missed several classes as well as the beginning of the school year feast, professor Dumbledore was very understanding, but I knew I had a lot of catching up to do and today I hoped to do just that.

I walked into my first class of the day, my lessons would be taught in a big high ceiling room, spacious and airy. Light flooded through the two large windows at the right side of the room, diagonally from the door.

My students were all seated in their places when I arrived, green and silver robed students to my left and red and gold robed students to my right.

"Ah" I remembered it was common knowledge that certain houses did not mingle with each other and I immediately understood that this was the case with my first lesson of the day.

I made my way to the front of the class and introduced myself.

"Hello class, I am professor Cambridge, your new DADA teacher"

The students replied in kind, and I immediately wanted to be familiar with my new students. I took out the list I had of my students name and proceeded to call out the names in the hopes of attempting to connect face and name of each of my new students, knowing full well, of course that such a thing will take the better part of several weeks to know the names of all of my new students from all the houses and years.

And that is when it happened, the moment that had nearly brought about my end.

I called out his name "Sirius Black"

"Here" and he replied.

I looked up from the scroll of names in my hand and found my eyes caught by the most beautiful pair of eyes I had ever had the pleasure of looking at.

The most beautiful, otherworldly beauty I had ever encountered in my long life. This boy's beauty was unmatched, and I found myself numbly wondering how I had not noticed him before.

Long black blue luscious curls surrounding a beautiful classical face, with the most unnerving purple eyes, encircled by thick long black lashes and the fullest most sensuous lips I had ever laid my eyes upon.

Those sensuous lips formed a smirk and his violet eyes twinkled knowingly at me. I had the distinct impression that he was no innocent. The thought of that beautiful child, which is exactly what he is, lying beneath another man, performing the ludest acts, my filthy mind could conceive, filled me with both the most enraged jealousy and a scorching heat of desire, such that I had never felt.

Unsure of how to treat these wayward emotions, I attempted to reach once more for my iron- clad control, after several attempts, a shaky ground on my suddenly flitting control was regained.

I continued with my self appointed task, attempting rather obviously to avoid that knowingly mocking stare, and a mocking one it was for certain.

The lesson continued as though nothing had happened, though I was sure at least 2 people have noticed my strange behavior and peculiar fascination with this beautiful child, as I refused to allow my mind to see him as anything other than a child, a beautiful one but a child nonetheless.

These two people were luckily only myself and Sirius, I hoped.

The bell rang alerting me to the blessed ending of this tormenting lesson.

I dare not look up as the class slowly emptied of its students, I was afraid to look into those knowing purple orbs, those mature beyond their years eyes, experienced eyes. Eyes a man can drown in as his body slowly drowns inside that youthful figure….STOP IT! I shook myself out of my lustful thoughts. It will do me no good to allow my thoughts to run amok and lust after what I should never have. NEVER.

And I still couldn't help but glance once more. Just once more.

But he wasn't in the class anymore and so I found myself getting out of my chair and glancing out into the hall, and there he was with his friends, towering above them all, but he was not gauche, he was comfortable with his height, in his skin, a rare fit for one so young.

He was laughing at his friends tales. Black silky locks swaying around his sweet and handsome face, full red lips stretched in a smile, baring perfect white teeth, beautiful thick black lashes, caressing his high cheekbones as he closed those tormenting purple pools of desire, head bowed low, he stood in a disarming position, as though his body was no longer on display, but the graceful manner of his stance and the way he held himself, spoke of quiet self- assurance, that I found more arousing than a mere display of fake sexual confidence.

My heart hammered heavily in my chest and I felt a sense of dread wash over me as I realized that I may not be able to hold out against his charms and even worse that I am not sure I will want to put much resistance. My only hope on this matter will be to not encourage his attention, and though he hasn't shown me any interest on his part, I will do my best to control my own dark desires towards this underage beauty.

Resolved in my mind not to act on these forbidden lusts, I was immediately startled to discover that my straying gaze was caught. I found my eyes locked in a silent duel with one of Sirius' best friends, was it Remus Lupin? I imagine that is his name. The gaze was accusatory as well as threatening, was I stepping on some boundaries I shouldn't? I asked silently, but some dark part of me issued a silent challenge before Sirius' warm voice broke our silent duel.

Maybe I could just have him once, just a taste, just to sate this unreasonable hunger deep within me that his presence had awakened in me.

_Remus' P.O.V_

The new DADA teacher was actually quite handsome, I suppose, if you liked men of that age.

But more importantly he knew his job, he was very knowledgeable and enlightening, and Sirius and James liked him on sight.

Sirius had even thought him to be sexy, amazingly enough even James thought him quite attractive; peter had no comment to that though.

As for me I hated him on sight, though he is a good teacher, I'll give him that.

When the lesson finished we all packed up and left, beside me James and Sirius were joking about Snape's latest mishap with a broom and magical duck tape.

I barely heard a word of their tale as the hairs on the back of my neck stood up and I felt the tell-tale shiver down my spine, we were being watched.

I turned swiftly in the direction of our watcher and was shocked to realize that our silent observer was none-other than professor Cambridge, our new DADA teacher.

The fact that he was watching us didn't bother me as much as the realization that he was not watching us but watching Sirius, my Sirius.

Also the emotions I could clearly read in his eyes bothered me even more, he wanted Sirius, lusted after him, and I should know all about lusting after Sirius. But no teacher in Hogwarts had ever looked upon Sirius as more than a beautiful child, which is what he is, no other teacher but this new teacher.

I ignored the low growling that my wolf emitted softly in my head, smothering the desire to growl out loud, to ward off this interloper, I ignored all of my powerfully strong animal instincts and worried more about the fact that this teacher might very well act upon his desire and that Sirius might very well be susceptible to his charms, he was a handsome man, and Sirius loved older men, as can be shown by his past track record.

I stared back at him, challenging him and watched as his expression showed shock at first, regret, before some iron resolve appeared and his face was wiped of all expression, and that frightened me even more than the clear lust he exuded before.

As I was still trying to penetrate through that steely resolve a warm hand wrapped around my shoulders and Sirius smoky voice urged me to join in the conversation once more.

The following days professor Cambridge seemed to keep his distance from Sirius, though his glances were still filled with such disturbing lust and desire, I was shocked to realize I was the only one who noticed his strange glances and prolonged presence wherever Sirius was.

But that was not what kept me awake at night, the highly probable and frightening thought that Sirius might very well take him upon his offer, makes sleep slowly drift away from my exhausted body each night.

I fear that Sirius will be very tempted to start such an affair and why?

Because he is Sirius; adventurous, fearless, reckless Sirius, always seeking a new thrill.

And also a more unsettling thought for many different reasons I don't wish to dwell on is that Sirius has never met his father, what if he would start this affair with professor Cambridge simply because of a misguided attempt to gain a father figure?

I hope that I am wrong, but knowing Sirius as well as I do, I fear that things will get much worse before they get better.

I hope I can survive another heartbreak, to know once more just how unattainable he is to me. I hope I have the strength.

_Bordian's P.O.V_

I didn't plan for this to happen; will you believe that the moment simply presented itself?

It was a day like any other , a Tuesday no less, I had to teach 3 classes that day, none of which were with the 6th year Gryffindors and Slytherins, and when that day nearly came to an end professor McGonagall walked into my class (a 4th year Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws) and asked me a most unusual question.

"Bordian, will you please do me this favor? I gave young mister black of 6th year Gryffindor detention, but I fear that I will be unable to supervise him tonight due to some headmistress duties, will you please supervise the boy tonight in my stead?"

It seemed as though it was a sign from above, I was given a chance to be alone with Sirius for several long hours.

An hour before the scheduled detention, guilty pangs of uncertainty attacked me once more, I am a 39 year old man and he is a young barely 17 year old child, it is wrong to desire him, wrong to lust after him, wrong to plan to seduce him and worst of all wrong to actually act upon it.

My mind, though, was resolved the minute that beautiful boy walked into my class.

He was wearing his robes which seemed to fit his body so well, enhancing his broad shoulders and thin waist, clinging to his undulating pelvis, allowing a mere glimpse of his well endowment. Was there a place in his body that was not perfect? I wondered as the desire for his flesh roared in my ears, blocking any common sense I might have had left, that survived the impact of seeing him again, this close to me.

He walked past me and sat down, a trace of lemon and honey mixed with a masculine scent that was his own natural scent, teased my nostrils.

His firm buttocks visible in the tight fitting robe as he swayed gracefully into the seat he appointed to himself. I could not decide whether he was swaying to catch my attention or was it merely an unconscious act, how innocent was he?

Our eyes met once more, and I was once again amazed at the knowledge evident in those beautiful ultra violet eyes, the intelligence that sparkled in those deceiving depths, but he was still a boy, underneath all the knowledge and experience, he was excited, eager and so was I.

I shut the door that he left open when he arrived and locked it. It clicked with a finality that neither one of us could deny, we turned to each other, I released a breath I didn't know I held and sighed, he expelled his breath loudly, and I realized right then that he too felt that this was inevitable.

He stood up and I moved closer to him, I cannot remember which one of us made the first move but it was unimportant to me at that moment as my arms closed around that youthful form, crushing the young firm chest close to mine, feeling his strong heart beating fast and rapidly against my own, we locked eyes once more, his swollen red lips parting as though he was about to tell me something, but the thought of speaking any words at this moment seemed so obscene that I immediately holt his words by pressing my own hard thin lips to his soft and luscious flesh.

He is unresisting in my arms, his arms encircle my waist softly, so light is his touch I barely feel it until he squeezes me tighter and opens his mouth under mine, his tongue slowly tracing the outline of my own lips, nipping and caressing until the skin swelled and tingled and my hardness swelled in unison inside of my underwear and pressed against his body.

An answering hardness pressed against my thigh.

Our tongues met inside of my mouth and I slowly tangled my tongue with his, pushing the battle for dominance inside his mouth, soothing the scrape of our dueling by softly sucking on his tongue, eliciting a soft groan from his sweet mouth.

We broke apart, breathless, lips still touching as though we refused to part completely.

His hands were already opening the fastening of my robes and I was once again reminded that he was no innocent. My hands reached to his fastening and we striped each other quickly, clothes ripping in our haste, any decorum and desire to tease forgotten in our haste to press naked against each other.

Finally we were both naked, chest against chest, our faces almost parallel, as Sirius was almost as tall as me.

We stared at each other, I watched mesmerized as his captivating purple eyes closed, long black lashes fanning on his high cheekbones, making him seem so young and vulnerable all of a sudden. He lifted his head up towards mine, his lips ghosting over mine teasingly, making the blood gush through my veins, before his lips press firmly onto mine, his swollen lips latch onto my bottom lip and his tongue slithers out and bathes my bottom lip, before a warm rush of air caresses the aroused flesh, I expel my breath quickly, feeling shudders of arousal taking over my body, and I allow my hands to roam free over his naked form. He is all firm and lightly muscled, his skin smooth and supple, and I rub my own much more coarse skin and hair-roughened body against all that smooth golden skin, brazing the smoothness and eliciting a small moan from his purring body.

When exactly this maddening compulsion to possess each other turned into a game of sensation and seduction, I am unsure. But I find myself enjoying the current situation more. Sirius is rubbing against my body, sliding against my skin, purring lightly into my mouth, while I caress his back and firm buttocks, enjoying the smoothness of his golden skin all over his body. He really is beautiful, I admit to myself once more as I feel his tongue push firmly inside my mouth before he aggressively explores it, his tongue swiping across my teeth, the roof of my mouth, my gums and finally dueling with my tongue and playfully nipping at it, before finally sucking on my tongue and swallowing the twisting muscle into his mouth. I moan brokenly as my body warms, and my shaft hardens further.

His hands caress my body, tweaking my nipples, before he breaks away from my lips and licks my left nipple, his eyes trained on me.

He begins to suck on the abused nipple, drawing back only to nip at the straining mound, soothing the sharp ache with his agile tongue, he turns his attention to my other nipple and it too receives the same teasing treatment, I gasp and run my hands through his tousled silky locks, caressing his scalp encouraging his slow descend down towards my abs and belly button, which he licks enthusiastically, his tongue slips in and out of my belly button teasingly, tongue-fucking my responsive flesh. He is no innocent my body acknowledges.

His lips ghost over my pleasure trail towards my hardness. His lips press against the head, he breathes teasingly against the tip, causing me to shiver in anticipation and impatience. His tongue slips out from between those succulent red lips, and teasingly licks a strip across the tip, wiping at the drops of pre cum before he licks his lips and moans appreciatively, as though he approves of my flavor, the simple moan released whatever control I had over myself, my desire to ravish him pounding in my head, firing my blood, scorching my insides with liquid fire.

And then he swallows me whole, deep throating me like an expert, the head scarping the back of his throat, and I am once again reminded how experienced he really is, all the while I gasp with pleasure, blessing and cursing his knowledge in the same tortured breath that I exhale.

His mouth strokes my shaft, up and down, causing unbelievable friction; I look down wanting to see the obscene sight.

I fight the desire to cum as his eyes lock with mine and I can almost see him smiling devilishly around his mouthful, at that particular moment he lets my flesh slip out of his mouth in an obscene "pop" his hand suddenly begins to caress my balls and scrotum.

I pull him by the hair away from my heated flesh, he moans in protest. I had never had a lover who enjoyed giving oral sex as much as he obviously did, I made myself a silent vow that next time (and yes there will be a next time, I am sure of that), I will not stop him.

I push him towards my desk, laying him flat out on his back, I feel him shuddering at the sudden coldness of the desk compared to his heated skin, and I feel foolish at the aggressive force I used towards him, but then he lies back, stretching his magnificent body and purring, and I lose all control. My wand is in my hand and before I know what I am doing, I have him laid down beneath me; his hands tied by a spell to the edge of the desk, leaving him open for me, his beautiful long legs surround my waist from both sides, his manhood now hard and dripping, his head tossed back, black- blue silky curls sticking to his sweaty forehead, his intense almost black eyes, darkened with desire, watch me curiously, excitedly, awaiting my action. And I find him even more arousing, that in a helpless, submissive position such as this he can still seem so seductive, calm and vulnerable. He was undoing me.

I whispered the familiar spell, before I slipped in one finger, past the guardian muscle and began to stretch the unbelievably tight entrance, in fact he was so tight I was starting to question his experience, but very quickly I had managed to slip a second finger and than a third, scissoring them inside of him before stroking across that sweet spot inside of him, mesmerized by his strangled moans and mewls as I stroked and prodded his nub of pleasure. Assuring myself that he was ready i slowly pressed against him, my hands grabbing hold of his hips I slipped inside slowly. Scorching heat engulfed me, and I groaned amazed at the heat and fit, he was so tight, I was hopping I was not hurting him too much, but I found it very hard to care at that moment. I sank into him and rested there for a minute waiting for him to adjust.

I felt the almost unbearable tightness suddenly relax, I looked up into his eyes just to feel him flex his pelvis and press down towards me, forcing my hips to move with his. And then I was thrusting, in and out. Sliding myself out only to slam back inside with such force that sent him hard into the desk beneath him, arms outstretched in an obscene pervert manner, which only fuelled my desire, making me thrust harder and deeper. He moaned beneath me, his hips moving in sync with mine, angling my thrusts to bring himself as much pleasure as he could in his disadvantaged position, getting the hint I angled my thrust to hit his prostate repeatedly, slipping my hand around his handsome manhood I began to stroke him in time with my own thrusts into his body.

Suddenly I could feel his muscles spasming around me, the organ in my hand stiffened and Sirius came with a loud moan, his cum covering his stomach and my hand.

I thrusted a few more times and came deep inside of him, groaning his name and biting his chest. I landed on top of him unable to move after my earth shattering orgasm. I spread soothing kisses all over his chest, where my biting teeth had left their forceful marks and released his arms, slipping out of him with immense care, even exaggerated care considering how I had used him mere minutes ago.

We both stood up and began to dress wordlessly, the sexual tension in the room was gone, replaced by a sated silence that neither one of us wanted to break yet we knew we would have to.

I turned towards him, pulled him back into my arms and kissed him again, a languid, unhurried kiss, my tongue played gently with his, sucking, caressing, tangling, lips brushing, teeth nipping. We broke apart breathless again and he smiled at me. It was a satisfied happy smile with no ulterior motive; I relaxed slightly, allowed myself the thought that I should feel no guilt over this night, and worst of all I was pretty sure I didn't.

I broke the silence "so, I can see this was not your first time with a man" I hinted, waiting for the confirmation I needed to feel better about what had just happened, to dispel any remaining feelings of guilt.

He smiled at me an amused and relaxed smile, running his fingers through his sexily tousled hair, that I helped tousle, I thought, my blood warming again at the thought.

"My virginity is long gone by now, so you have nothing to worry about"

I thought I was supposed to feel better about that but suddenly I wasn't, I was consumed by the need to know. How many were they? How long did it last? How were they? Did he love any of them? What did he do with them?

I was getting enraged, obsessive, eaten alive by this burning, demanding desire, and with it came the sudden knowledge that I wanted to claim him.

"Or maybe I do" I replied to him, before I could stop myself. He turned towards me, surprised, the smile slowly leaving his face, followed by a curious expression, as though he couldn't fathom what it was that I meant what it was that I wanted from him. He seemed once again so innocent, for a minute I found myself wondering whether the past hour had actually occurred, and that this was not a figment of my lustful imagination.

Before he could answer me there was a knock on the door, we both glanced at the door, stiffening, we glanced at each other, Sirius worrying his bottom lip, I felt a hot wave of arousal washing over me as I noticed how full and puffy his red lips were and so well used, by me no less.

I shivered slightly and closed my eyes to break out of his spell; we both glanced down then, checking to see that we were fully dressed before glancing around to see that nothing looked out of order, that no hint remained of our previous actions.

I walked with Sirius towards the door and unlocked it, coming face to face with a gracious looking professor McGonagall.

"Thank you once again professor Cambridge, I do hope young mister black here wasn't too much trouble" she actually smiled at me.

"Not at all professor, I am glad to be of service" my voice was steady and smooth, but I could feel Sirius' mocking stare, refusing to acknowledge his presence in the conversation.

"Well mister black, off you go to your dormitory, I dare not hope that this detention has altered anything in your perception, much like any others before." Professor McGonagall sighed, and turned to look at me.

"Thanks once more Bordian, I do hope he wasn't to much trouble" and with a swirl of her black robes, she turned and left me briskly, her robes bellowing around her in a restricting manner, as though the clothes she wore bore her characteristics as well.

I glanced in the other direction, hoping to catch one last glance of my beautiful new lover, but he was gone and I was once again left with doubts, what have I gotten myself into? And worst of all, when can we be together again?

Sirius, you bewitched me.

_Sirius' p. o. v_

I walked briskly to my dormitories up in the tower, anxious to get there, to feel myself in a familiar warm atmosphere while my feelings were in such chaos.

I did something foolish tonight, and I don't feel bad about it, I just feel like I jumped way over my head in the space of an hour. Have you ever felt like you are just standing on the side of a railroad track and a train is coming while you are watching the desperate soon to be victim trying to escape, but it's too late, it's always too late. What would you feel if you were the victim and you were the one that flipped the switch?

That's how it is.

I can barely see anything in front of me, because I am not paying attention, my mind is focused elsewhere and before I know it I find myself bumping quite roughly into a solid warm body, strong arms wrap around my waist, I look up into unforgettable gorgeous pale blue eyes, messy black hair and a beautiful happy smile.

"Si! What are you doing here mate?" asks James, wiping the sweat of his forehead, only then did I realize that he had been to quidditch practice and that he was making his way to our dormitories for a quick shower.

"I was just getting back from detention; you remember I told you I had gotten one from professor McGonagall last week? Well I just finished it now."

"Ah! What did she make you do? Last time she made me wash all of her…."

I ignored the rest of his tale, breathing peacefully. If James hasn't picked it up yet I doubt that even Remus could, it isn't anywhere near the full moon tonight, but just to keep safe I'll shower the first chance I get.

"Blabber worm" we both spoke together as the fat lady's portrait swung aside to admit us.

We climbed up the stairs to our dormitories continuing with our lazy banter.

What have I gotten myself into?

Why does morning time always come too damn soon?

It was 7 am again! And that meant my friends were having a pillow fight over my bed in yet another attempt to wake me up in time for breakfast, little did they know that the only think that ever woke me up in time for breakfast was my growling stomach.

I yawned and stretched playfully ruffling my hair in a doggish manner as I have grown accustomed to since I became, well, a dog.

"I'm up you bastards, now get off!" I screamed at them, that usually shook them up a bit. Sirius black hardly ever screams, if ever.

By 7:15 we were all ready to face the great hall, and breakfast, we had barely just arrived before James became once more lily – obsessed.

"Oh pads, she is just so pretty! Don't you think? I mean what if you went there and asked her whether she would like to go to hogsmead with me? I'm sure you can talk her into it, please? For your best mate?" James pleaded with me. All of his previous attempts to procure a date with the lovely Miss Evans had finished with him hexed with some rather unpleasant hexes; I was not that sure I wanted to risk my skin on that red haired monster.

But what won't you do for a best friend, a brother really?

So I did, I approached her cautiously mindful to be prepared to duck, but I really had none of James quick chaser's reflexes and I had no wish to walk around the school with pink hair and white underwear with little pink hearts.

And so it was, I approached the red haired monster, where she was sitting at the Gryffindor table, surrounded by her own little group of fans, most of which had at some point been a groupie of mine, some of James as well and I think one of Remus at least. She turned towards me suddenly, her friends had alerted her to my presence and I was caught unprepared. She may be a ruthless, vindictive, law abiding little wench but she was a very pretty one, I could understand James' fascination with her.

She had long glowing red hair, beautiful big green eyes that could almost compete with mine, skin the color of polished ivory and a full luscious pink mouth. The fire constant in her eyes only added to her appeal, she was as we laughingly called a fiery nymph, and James was hooked on her.

"Hello lily? How are you this fine day? Good I hope" she looked at me expectantly, not bothering to answer my greeting, but curious as to what I had to say.

"Well, I'm sure you know my friend James, right? Well he would like me to ask you whether you will do him the greatest honor of going with him to Hogsmead this coming Hogsmead weekend." I had found that the direct and polite approach usually works on Evans and I hopped for James that it will work this time as well. Though she claimed to dislike us all, I knew better, I had often watched her laugh quite openly at a prank we had performed, had often seen the way she blushed whenever she had to reprimand either one of us (minus peter) and of course she was a prefect it was expected of her to act this way.

"Sirius, do tell James that I find it quite ridicules that he has to send you to ask me out, tell potter that if he wants me to reply to his question he had best come and ask me straight and not send any more of his friends. I do believe he has more guts than this?" and with these last words she and her group of followers stood up and left the great hall, robes bellowing in their wake.

Defeated I went back to my now sullen best friend, who had been carefully observing our conversation.

"Well… did she say no? What did she say? No don't tell me. Well tell me but tell me first if she said anything nasty about me? Did it seem to you like I have a chance with her? What do you think pads?" James mumbled worriedly, I had never seen him this nervous in his life, and James wasn't what one would call shy, and definitely not around the opposite sex.

He was hooked on Evans bad, and I was starting to hope for his sake that he will get his wish very soon, as a best mate it hurts to see your best mate suffer so.

"Well, I do think you have a chance, I mean she did tell me that she wants you to come and ask her so maybe…"

And so together we devised a plan of action for him and like always we embraced each other, we sometimes lost track of our surroundings when we were together and had often touched each other, as best friends do, in public unaware that we were watched.

The four of us finished breakfast; James was back to his exuberant self and I couldn't be happier to see his eyes once again shine with promise, this promised to be a great day already, James might get his girl today and if not than very soon, she was mellowing towards him, the sun was shining, Remus was smiling happily as well and even Peter was being less annoying than usual, my friends were happy and so was i.

We left the great hall on our way to start the morning classes, when my eyes caught sight of Bordian's fierce gaze; he stalked past me, his body's movements somewhat frenzied, and I was left with the distinct impression that I had unknowingly done something that angered him, I felt my belief of having a good day slowly drain from me as we entered transfiguration class.

I have no idea what I could have possibly done to anger him so.

_Bordian's P. O. V_

How dare he? Only several hours ago my body was inside of him, making him utter the sweetest sounds, making him climax and collapse in my arms and now he has his arms wrapped INTIMATLY around another boy, a handsome young man, really. But still my blood boils, I knew it was a boy he often hung out with but being faced with the disturbing image before I even had a chance to eat a morsel of food, while my mind was still plagued with obsessed memories of last night and the taste of him still lingering in my mouth, it was all too much for my frazzled mind.

That image haunted me all through my morning lessons, I was so unfocused on my lessons that I had to catch my temper more times than normally and I had even managed to make three 4th year Hufflepuffs cry in my lesson, something had to be done, I only had one more lesson to go today before I was teaching Sirius.

_Sirius' P.O.V_

Who would have thought my premonitions about today should come about so unwell?

I had really hoped that they wouldn't but by the last lesson of the day I finally had real cause to be wary.

It was Defense Against the Dark Arts' lesson and only several hours ago I had sex with this same Professor in this said room.

I wish this day will end quicker.

The lesson started out quite well, if I might say so, I mean that is if I could ignore the death glares sent my way from Bordian's and Remus' surprised yet curious not so secretive glances.

But still nothing had actually happened so far, that is until i was asked a question, and though I answered correctly I was still reprimanded and had points taken from me! That has never happened to me, not in class for answering correct, unless it was the head of Slythrin, professor Glith who has a profound hatred of anything Gryffindor.

The rest of the lesson progressed in this manner.

"That is wrong Mister Black 5 points from Gryffindor" "need I remind you to be quiet Mister Black take another 5 points from Gryffindor" until finally the most expected outcome occurred. "That is it Mister Black I will not stand for anymore of your shenanigans, report to me at 6 pm tonight for your detention, and do hold your tongue, I dare say it has caused you too much trouble today as it is"

I was shocked, what was he playing at? I had done nothing wrong, all the other Gryffindors were as shocked as me, the Slythrin were smirking at me, and I was very much surprised. How has this come about?

Class ended soon after , I refused to meet Bordian's fierce gaze, something in my gut told me this detention will be quite different from most others that I had done these past few years, and I wasn't so sure I was up for the task.

On our way to the great hall, Peter and James discussed the strange behavior of our once charming professor, both expressing shock as well as anger at his vindictive approach towards me, I felt my heart warm by their righteous anger.

Remus said nothing and walked quietly next to me, I didn't mind it for my mind was also troubled by other things, and I was once more comforted by the easy silence that has always reined between us, with so many things left unsaid, silence was much more easy and safe.

Dinner was a quiet affair this evening; we were all so consumed in our own private little world that making conversation seemed an unbearable task.

I left the great hall at 5:45 making my way to my detention, which I had wrongfully gotten, mind you, I had never minded doing any detention I had rightfully earned, and Merlin knows there have been many of those.

I took a deep breath, exhaled and opened the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom door, Bordian was seating quietly grading papers at his table, his head bent down towards the scrolls of paper on his desk, forehead scrunched in concentration.

From this view point I could almost believe that all that has happened in today's lesson was a figment of my over active imagination, unbelievable since he seemed so relaxed in comparison to today's edgy and fierce behavior, I had almost felt my blood pressure return to it's normal pace when his head lifted off of the table and his eyes locked with mine.

Before I had even managed to exhale the breath I had drawn I felt my body slam forcibly into the wall, a locking and silencing charm ghosted across my ear as I felt the warm hard pressure of Bordian's body pressing against my own trapped body, my arms held by one of his above my head, I made no attempt to struggle free, I was transfixed by his eyes, no one had ever looked at me with such a possessive, devouring gaze, and I felt a thrill of excitement slowly release into my blood stream.

His breath ghosted across my cheeks, his lips pressing to my now heated skin, he breathed fiercely.

"how dare you let another male touch you, and in front of me no less, did you forget last night already, do I need to remind you that you are mine?"

"W..what?" I was confused, shaken and a tad bit aroused, insane I know but I was so aroused by his jealousy, he was jealous about me, that has never happened to me, and though I tried really hard to think which male he has seen me with I recalled none, I hadn't so much as kissed a male today.

"You heard me, I saw you hugging that Potter boy today in the great hall at breakfast, I won't stand for this Sirius, I don't care what you did before me but now you have me and there won't be a need for any other, you know that only I can give you what you really need." With these final words he claimed my lips forcefully, I moaned loudly around his ferocious tongue, not bothering to deny him entrance to my mouth, his tongue broke in and swept the inside of my mouth, leaving a tingling warmth over the caressed flesh before it sought my tongue, wrapping itself around mine and sucking, I moaned again, feeling his teeth biting into the soft skin of my lips, the familiar taste of cooper filled my mouth, as I tasted my own blood mingled with our saliva.

Before long he tore his mouth off of mine, and lowered his head to my neck where he bit and suckled every piece of flesh he could find, his hands tearing at my robes, until I stood naked before him, my hands, now released, remained above my head, as though it was agreed between us that this is how it should be.

I leaned back, moaning as his mouth left my now bruised neck and traveled down my exposed chest, kissing, licking and biting as it went, one nipple caught and tormented before he bit into my skin, I cried in pain and moaned when his tongue quickly soothed the ache, my second nipple received the same treatment, before he bit down towards my navel where he tongue fucked and bit at the delicate skin, only to stop there and rise to his feet, completely ignoring my now throbbing erection, his robes caressing it maddeningly as he rose up to me.

Moaning brokenly at the teasing gesture, I tried to push my hardness against his thigh desperately seeking some friction to ease the pounding of my blood, the beating of my heart, try to catch my breath, large firm hands quickly latched onto my hips and stilled them. I groaned in frustration.

"Not yet Sirius, you only get to come when I say you can" he whispered softly in my ear, chuckling, I felt his hands slowly lift up one of my thighs, exposing me to his hands, feeling slightly out of balanced I barely noticed the lubrication spell he cast on himself, and then he was lifting me up, pressing into me, I groaned in pain as he breached me in one brutal stroke, I was unprepared. He didn't wait for me to adjust, he drew back and slammed back into me, my hands dropped to his arms as I tried desperately to push him back, my fingernails biting into his skin, drawing blood red drops.

"Don't, slow down, it hurts" I gasped at him, and then he thrusted up once more, the angle changed and I felt pleasure pound into my body, my skin perspired, my heart jerked in my chest, the pleasure was so sharp as it mingled with the pain that it was almost too much, I felt myself harden once more, pressing against Bordian's half - exposed body, my head leaned back as the friction increased, the pleasure mounting as the pain receded to the back of my mind, this was torture, it was painful, I dug my nails deeper into Bordian's flesh, until he grunted with pain, his stroke inside of me faltered.

He pressed himself into me, pushing me up further into the wall, one hand grabbing onto both of mine, forcing them back above my head, holding them so rough I winced at the pain, but I was so consumed by this fire that burned within me, my flesh was smoldering, I felt possessed by him, his flesh pounding into me relentlessly, pressing against my prostate repeatedly, I could do no more than moan loudly, whispering his name, as I felt my body begin to tighten, his lips crashed into mine, without finesse or delicacy, taking over me, imitating the pounding rhythm of his hard flesh inside of my body, he roughly groaned, his breath exhaled on my lips, followed by the whispered sound "mine", I almost wished I was his, even though a part of me wanted to rebel, I was caught too deep into this, I was being swept away on this wave of pleasure I feared coming down more than riding it to it's finish.

When I finally reached my climax, I felt torn, my muscles tightened and then broke loose, my eyes shut, and my mind went black, I felt him thrust within me several more times, my muscles still spasming around him, drawing him deeper inside of me, he thrusted one last time and came, groaning loudly into my ear, teeth sinking into the juncture of my right shoulder.

"Mine"

We stood still for several minutes, just trying to catch our breath, my mind was a jumble of misunderstood thoughts and emotions, I dared not move for I knew my body will ache fiercely if I did, and I was still not ready to face what had just happened. For the first time in my life I was fucked, thoroughly fucked, inside as well as outside. Every other lover in my life have always treated me almost reverently, but this time I felt used, wrecked, broken and I was afraid to say that I enjoyed the treatment, my mind started worrying me with so many different scenarios, but it was all too late.

Bordian was the first to move as he slowly pulled out of me, I winced as my abused flesh felt once again the raw treatment it had just been receiving, letting go of my thigh, he pushed back from my body and straightened his robes, his eyes refusing to meet mine.

I tried to stand up, but found that my body was shivering, my legs unsteady, my thigh muscles cramped and aching, much like the rest of me, I already tried to figure out away to avoid sitting for the next few days, fat chance of that.

I picked up my torn robes, absentmindedly searching for my wand, and finally it was pushed into my distracted hands.

"here it is Sirius, let me fix your robes for you" said Bordian, his voice gentle, calm, as though any remains of the previous rage within him was consumed, much like me by the burning desire of only a few minutes ago, I nodded numbly, still coming to terms with what has just happened between us.

"_Repairo_" he whispered close to my ears, my senses reeled at his closeness, a part of me, deep inside trembled, I was slightly petrified by the violent way he took me but so excited. Do I like it rough? I wasn't sure, but it scared me, I felt very shaken and something inside of me made me feel unease with him, but I also knew that my sleeping with Bordian again was really inevitable.

"we need to clear this up, because I feel that you need to understand something, I will be faithful to you" I turned towards him, my voice trembled, but it had to be said, he had to know where we stand, and also I already knew that we will continue this thing, that I can't even name, is it a relationship? If so is it supposed to feel so volatile? Nothing seemed to fit or make sense, and I was wondering whether it was because of what had just happened or because I am still afraid to commit? Or really unwilling to? Or maybe it really isn't what I want and need? Maybe we really aren't right for each other?

Anyway, I wasn't sure that this is what he really wanted from me, maybe all he really wants from me is to be sexually faithful to him and if so than maybe that's all I really want myself.

"James and I are best friends, sometimes you will see me hug him, I might even kiss him sometimes, the same goes for Remus, they are my friends, you can't go into a jealous rage every time you see me with them, ok?" I held my breath hoping that he will understand, even though I already knew that if he didn't I would walk out of here, without a backward glance, until this happens again.

"ok" his voice was quiet and flat, I had to strain my ears to hear him, he looked almost sheepishly at the floor, shoulders slumped, I had never seen a grown man look so awkward as he did just then, but suddenly he straightened his shoulders and glanced straight into my eyes, his gaze once more fierce.

"But promise me Sirius, there will be no one else, but me, do you understand? I don't share Sirius; I want you to respect that"

And that was it, he never said he was sorry, nor did he ask me if I felt any pain from the brutal sex we shared, and I in return never spoke of this agreement between us.

As promised by both of us, I stayed faithful and he looked away whenever James causally slung his arms around my shoulders and Remus ran his delicate, slender fingers through my wind tousled hair.

But sometimes, no matter how hard we try things still manage to get awfully complicated. I never thought things could get worse than this.

_Remus' p.o.v_

I can smell his scent on Sirius, smell his presence all around me, in our dormitories, in classes, in the great hall, sometimes I even catch a whiff of it from Sirius when we all sit together beneath his apple tree, and it's slowly driving me mad.

It is only 3 days till the full moon, and if I hadn't smelled him on Sirius I might have not even guessed that something has happened between them, but I did.

My senses are so sharp and the wolf within me slowly begins to pick in to my conscious mind, demanding Sirius and this interloper's blood and I knew this full moon might be harder than any other before it.

Was it a relationship between them? Was Sirius in love with him? Why else would he be seeing so much of him?

I wish I knew, but not knowing is worse than knowing, and Sirius still acts no different, he has even fooled James into this innocent act of celibacy, or maybe James is still too caught up in Lily to really notice.

Either way the "relationship" if one could call it that, didn't look very healthy to me, Professor Cambridge's stares during classes and dinner times were always so fierce, as though he was just waiting to see Sirius cheating on him. I wished he would and this thing will quickly end, but surprisingly enough, or maybe not really that surprising, considering Siri has always been a very loyal person and friend, why should his love life be any different? but either way I wished I could have been the one so lucky to receive this precious gift of his heart and body, but it was not meant for me, I fought my wolf quietly within, trying to tame him with my rational mind, but so close to the full moon, I really had no chance.

I had already decided that since I am Sirius' friend and even though I know of this completely inappropriate relationship between him and our new Professor, I will not say a word to any one not even James, who really should have known better, if he could pay a bit of attention to his best mate.

Sirius and I were walking down the hall that day, laughing quietly to each other at James fascination with Lily Evans, when I feel a presence coming closer to us, and I smell a most disgusting yet familiar smell of one very interesting Slytherin, one that I knew had already left Hogwarts several years ago, Lucius Malfoy.

"Well, Sirius Black, my my how you have changed since I last laid my eyes on you" his voice was perfectly moderated, but the current of desire that made his voice sound more raspy was undeniable.

Malfoy had graduated from Hogwarts when we had finished our 3rd year, by then Sirius had already managed to snare quite a bit of hearts, he had already begun maturing into the beautiful boy that he now is and many of course took notice, I had no idea Malfoy also did, especially since Sirius was a muggle-born wizard, a bright and talented one but still a muggle- born which Slytherins usually find quite appalling.

Sirius, and I give him credit where credit is due, was very calm, was he ignoring the lust I heard in Malfoy's voice or was he simply unaware of it, which I thought was quite impossible.

"Malfoy, fancy running into you at Hogwarts of all places, to what do I owe the pleasure of your company?" Sirius questioned the hint of sarcasm in his voice unmistakable.

"I was wondering Black, whether you will care to join me for dinner in Hogsmead tonight, and we can catch up on some old time?"

Sirius and I were both quite shocked, what was Malfoy up to?

"Pardon me Malfoy, but I am afraid I will have to decline you generous offer, simply because I cannot sneak out of school, you do understand, right? Well we had best be off, potions is about to begin and surely you know how Professor Glith is about late Gryffindors, do take care now, bye"

Sirius was a professional through and through, he left Malfoy bumbling awkwardly behind us, a smile gracing his sensuous lips as he grabbed hold of my hand and dragged me towards the classroom, both of us beginning to snicker like two naughty children.

"Can you believe the nerve of him, Re? Unbelievable, has the world gone insane?" Sirius exclaimed laughingly in my ear, his hot breath caressing my ear lobe and sending a shiver down my spine, I fought not to gasp with pleasure.

"I know, I was as amazed as you pads. Is there anyone who doesn't fancy you? I wonder"

"Oh you know that's not true, James doesn't and neither do you, or Peter for that matter" said Sirius offhandedly.

I gulped and answered quietly "maybe Peter doesn't think he has a chance with you? Maybe we all feel that way?" I spoke quietly, maybe to myself, maybe to him, my eyes downcast.

Sirius glanced sharply and was about to respond before someone interfered.

"Shouldn't you both be making your way to class?" a fierce stern voice spoke calmly beside us, we both jumped and turned towards the speaker.

Professor Cambridge stared at us questioningly, but one couldn't mistake the fire that burned in his eyes for Siri, I would have to be blind to miss it.

Sirius and "him" stared at each other for a bit before Sirius spoke softly to me.

"Get on to class Rem, I'll see you in a bit, I promise" he than broke his stare with our professor to smile reassuringly at me.

Against my will I walked off to class my mind in turmoil, this was serious (no pun intended).

_Bordian's p.o.v_

"Hello my gorgeous lad, who was the handsome man I saw you speak to before? What did he want from you?" I asked, my mind already on who he was talking to, that young man seemed to know him and worse he seemed to want him, but Sirius was mine and I hated the thought of having to share him more than any other thing in the world.

"a former student who apparently has a slight crush on me, but you need not worry I turned him down, I won't break my promise to you, I swear" he was so nervous around me these days, and I could understand that, but what happened happened and though we still had sex at almost a regular basis, of once every couple of days, the most we both could go without, I still deep inside wanted to be more rough with him, he was so pretty that I wanted to break him and keep him all to myself, having to share him with his friends proved to be such a hassle to me that I almost thought of telling him to break it off with his friends, I want to possess him, make him mine, forever.

I usher him quickly into an empty classroom, Sirius, getting my intention quickly spells the door locked while I put on a silencing charm on the room.

I turn to him and pull him into my arms gently kissing his upturned head, before my lips trail downward towards his slightly open saliva slicked lips, I breath across them feeling more than seeing him close his eyes and shudder in my arms, I lose control of myself when I realize just how wanton he really is, how much he desires me. The mere thought of it makes me harden in my robes, and makes me even happier that I hadn't bothered to wear any underpants today.

I press my lips against his, as well as my body hard against his, I feel him moan as I rub my already hard member against his clothed thigh, and feel his answering erection rub across my clothed thigh in return.

What is it about Sirius that makes my body act as though I myself am sixteen again?

Not bothering to think about the reason for my suddenly insatiable sexual drive, I delve my tongue between those beautiful needy lips, and lose myself to the mindless hunger within me,

Sirius' tongue meets mine and we tangle them together, slowly I feel the soft sucking pressure of him sucking on my tongue, moaning around the wet flesh in his mouth, the vibrations of his moans wet my mouth and I can't help but imagine him down on his knees before me, his mouth hugging my firm flesh as he worships me with those luscious lips and agile tongue.

I break our kiss, and look at his eyes; my breath still irregular from my arousal, Sirius pants softly, his breath fans across my neck.

"I want you to drop to your knees before me Sirius, and service me with that beautiful mouth of yours" I tell him of my wish, my voice almost trembling from the power of my arousal.

Sirius eyes drop to the floor, his cheeks are flushed with arousal, long feminine black lashes caress his cheeks, making him look suddenly demure and alluring before he licks his swollen puffy red lips, and makes my heart race with anxious desire, I need that mouth around my flesh, sucking, licking, swallowing, I need it more than air to breath.

He drops to his knees before me, hands already unbuttoning my robes, pulling at the buckle of my pants and finally unzipping my cock from its confinement, he glances up and looks at me coyly.

"No underpants I see.. I approve" he breaths on my heated flesh, licking a stripe across my tip with his moist tongue.

He breaths my scent, before rubbing his lips across the sides, pressing small butterfly kisses all over my manhood, before reaching the tip and sucking it into his warm mouth.

I groan out loud at the pleasure, murmuring Sirius' name, my hands travel down and tangle in his silky black-blue curls, massaging his scalp and trying to push myself deeper into that tormenting wet heat.

I groan once more this time at the teasing nature of his suction, as he slowly licks unknown patterns on the underside and across the vein, before sucking the head back into his mouth, tongue twirling and swiping across leisurely.

He smirked at my groan, before swallowing my full length down his throat, his cheeks hollow as he slowly begins to deep throat me, his lips sliding up and down across my hard flesh, the friction increase with each minute, I can no longer contain my cries of pleasure and I abandon the thought of doing so, as there are so many other great sensations to experience.

My hips begin to thrust back into his mouth, Sirius doesn't even lose his rhythm, I increase the speed of my thrusts and the force and watch as myself disappears and reappears from between those amazingly soft lips, I watch as his mouth chases after my hardness when it leaves and opens up as it returns, I feel the incredible snugness created by his lips and cheek muscles and am once more enthralled by the lust that I see brightening his eyes, he is so beautiful.

Finally I grab his head forcibly, my hands almost tearing at his beautiful black blue mane and plunge deep inside his mouth, I feel the muscles of his throat swallow around me and I can't stop myself, I can't hold back, the pleasure is so urgent and demanding, I give into it willingly, as my body begins to shake with my repressed release, my skin sweaty and hot, my blood pounding in my temples, heart racing, I need to cum now.

I thrust back inside once more before; I cum, splinter into pieces, my voice hoarse from my screams, my muscles clamped so hard, I fear to take another breath, and then I fall.

My eyes close and I slip out of Sirius' mouth, his tongue caress my tingling sated flesh, I lean back at the Professor's table behind me and catch my breath.

Sirius stands up on shaky legs, his is manner agitated as his erection is paining him greatly, but we have no time for this, Sirius is already 10 minutes late for class and I need to get back to my office to prepare for my next lesson.

I lean towards him, my mouth pressing against his lips, still swollen from the pleasure he gave me and I kiss him almost chastely.

"I promise we will take care of this later, but now you must get to class" I tell him, my right hand tormenting his trapped erection, massaging him through his school robes.

"Oh… I can't go to class like this Bordian, I can't think like this" he moans at me, his body trembling.

I relent and quickly unbuckle his trousers and slip my hands inside, catching my prize, and stroking, my movements are raw and i spend no time caressing him, simply trying to get him off, he pants into my ears, his body weight leaning onto mine, as he begins to climax, he moans into my ear, his hands grasp my forearms as he hangs on, I press my lips to his forehead and kiss the sweaty skin of his temple.

And then his hands' grasp tightens almost painfully on my forearms and I feel him swell in my hands, I can tell he is very close to cuming and I stroke him harder, satisfied when his whole body goes rigid, and then he is climaxing, he moans out loud, my name a hoarse cry on his breath, and I feel myself begin to harden again.

his body collapses against mine and his lips close on mine.

We kiss softly, teeth nipping gently at each other's lips, and than he smiles at me, sated and I can't help but smile back.

I help him clean himself and we both fix our clothes before we kiss one more time and depart, we take off the charms on the classroom and Sirius is the first one to leave, he walks out casually, head turning back to wink teasingly at me, hips swaying sensually as he walks, I smirk and wait several more minutes before I too make my way back to my office.

And I still can't bring myself to regret a moment of the time I have spent with him, something this good just can't be wrong, it can't, I won't let it be.

**Of beauty – chapter 10: **things get really bad with the professor and finally a kiss between Rem and Siri, I know you were all waiting to see that, so I'm finally being generous, too bad I have no prediction of when this chapter might be finished!

As you all remember this is the "softer" version of this episode, if you want the NC-17 it's on feel free to check it out, I must say the changes are not that big, but suit yourselves!

Please read and review, even though I have been mean and I have taken a long time to finish this, but I did stay up till 2:15 am just to get it ready when I have to start uni tomorrow at 9am, so pretty please?


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